I'm worried, My 2yr old is having anxiety over

Amanda - posted on 10/10/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I've been a stay @home mom since birth. I've breastfeed for almost 10months & have really been in tune with my son. I think I'm a great mom, but I guess we all think that... lol! Anyway, even though I stay home with him I've always worked weekends (fri -Sat going in at 6pm & cuz night shift I sleep in next morning till 10ish) He never really cared. However lately he won't leave my side. I don't know if its the age or he is really having a real problem. He cries horrible when I leave- like he'll never see me again. He has anxiety about it all week: he says thru the day Mommy don't go to work, stay & see me, everytime I lay him down for nap or bed his last words are don't go to work stay here. Last night he woke up screaming 2am mommy don't go to work, don't go, stay stay!!!.... What concerns me is that he is worring about this even when I'm NOT going. I always tell him when I'm not going I'm not going anywhere baby. AND when I do I say Mommy loves you, I have to make money to buy you toys, I"ll be back before you wake up!!! (and walk out).. To help give you more history, his father and I have been apart for a little over a yr now & well he has a wonderful live-in stepfather for the past 5months, who watches him when gone. I don't think his fear is being left with him cuz he is all over him & talks about him constantly, he even screams for him when I'm droping my son off at his fathers. KYle, my son, also doesn't even want to visit his daddy or his grandparents anymore whom he always loved before. He goes reluctently, but it still isn't as dramatic as my going to work. Although he also say thru day, daddy stay at his house, me not see him. But I think its just more having to do with wanting to be with me. Please help, tips & should I be concerned about the amount of anxiety he is having... Night terrors & all? I'm worried about my sweet boy!

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Brandi - posted on 10/11/2009

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It is possible that it is just his age. he is really too young to understand that you only go two days a week and which days those are, so I wouldn't worry about him worrying even when you don't go, he doesn't understand that anyway. I would be more concerned about his sudden aversion to going to see his dad. Is it possible that something there has changed over the last year. Maybe dad has a new g/f or wife? also, does he see his dad on a regular schedule??? Does he have his own room there? He may be feeling like he's missing some stability somewhere and when you go, his main source of stability goes too. It's soo important for kids to have stable secure homes (even if they have two of them) so maybe his anxiety stems from that??? I don't know, really, but since his anxiety seems to stem from going to his father's, I would start investigating what might be the reason for that. Good luck.

Jane - posted on 10/10/2009

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our 2yr old is stuck b/w independence and clinginess right now. i think it's part of becoming independent. the less fuss you make about it the better for him to see that it's no big deal and that you always come back. at nap or bedtime, tell him if he needs you, he just has to call for you and you'll be there.

Tabitha - posted on 10/10/2009

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My oldest is now 3 and he was having night terrors awhile ago. He would wake me up and tell me there's a bad man in his room, or a monster. During the day he would always want to be right by my side. He's grown out of it now. He wakes up to use the bathroom and stuff but no bad dreams.

On the other hand, your son just loves you so much that he doesn't want you to leave. I am also a stay at home mom. My youngest is 14 months and it's been a battle for months now when I want to leave the house. It was so bad that if I had to walk in the other room he would scream. My husband(his father), will give me a break and I have to sneak out the back door. Because if he sees me he will scream. Eventually he would realize I was gone and scream until I got back. His father would hold him, try and feed him, he would do everything. As soon as I walked though the door he would reach his arms out to me. I have spoiled that child very much though. He has gotten a little better now but it still happens every once in awhile, especially when I leave the room. And their father is great with them! My kids are always with us so I know no one is hurting them or anything. They just want to be with me..lol

Hope this helps.

I hope this helps!

Hope - posted on 10/10/2009

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I'm a stay at home mom, as well. My daughter, who is 21 months old, does pretty much the same thing when I go to leave, or simply walk down the stairs to do laundry. I think really that it is just the age they are at. They know we love them, and are there for them, but they also feel very frightened at the prospect of us leaving them. My daughter does the same thing when he daddy or my parents leave. It's just a matter of who is leaving who she screams for. And sometimes, she even wakes up crying in the middle of the night. Toddlers have night terrors and bad dreams, and though we may not understand how they understand, they know at some point that we leave them for a given amount of time to do stuff. Just continuously ensure your son that you love him, and you aren't going anywhere anytime soon. It's even harder if he is an only child, because my brother has 4 children, and their reactions are not near as bad as my one child's reaction when combined. Just keep ensuring him you love him, because until he grows out of this stage, it will more than likely continue.

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