I need a some advice ,about being a SAHM ..

Leslie - posted on 04/28/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Well I have a 3 yr old daughter and now im pregnant and i have 5 weeks left :) but anyways my point is I never really been a SAHM , and after the baby is born im going to keep being a SAHM .I just feel with 2 kids now, i really want to be in their lifes, but for some reason i feel kinda use less being at home or if something happens to my husband what would i do? I always worked and been more as independent woman lol, but seriously just mixed emotions about it. Because when other women would tell me Im a SAHM ,i would think to myself thats nice and pretty cool you can be with your children and you have a man that supports you. But now that im doing it, i dnt feel so great all the time. Has any one felt this way ??? Btw my first child is not my husbands, but we got together since she was like 7 months, and well her father was a horrible person and never has been or is a dad to her, and so i always had my guard up. Now that i have wonderful man in my life and im having a baby boy with him , he told me i dnt have to work so i dnt lol. He treats my daughter like if it was his daughter, he is just to good to be true ! well girls i had to get all of this out my chest!!! and it feels good lol :D so any advice on my mixed emotions on being a SAHM ???????????? PLS HELP . thank you !!!!

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Karen - posted on 04/30/2012

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First of all, you will be working! More than you ever thought you would, and there is no time clock to punch! Never feel as if you are not contributing. You are going to be the one raising your children the way you want them raised. You won't be relying on somebody else to instill your morals and values on the little ones. As far as money is concerned, a budget can solve that. Just realize all the money you will be saving. No longer stopping for that Starbucks, now you can make a pot of coffee at home. No longer having to buy a wardrobe for work, and not to mention the cost of daycare that you will be saving. There will be days when you want to run screaming back to the office, but just hang in there. You can do it.

Missy - posted on 04/30/2012

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I never imagined myself being a SAHM. It's been almost 16 years now. My youngest will be starting kindergarten this fall (full day) so I am so nervous about going back to work. My mom was a SAHM and I loved knowing my mom was always there when other kids parents were working. I think my kids are better people because I'm a SAHM. I actually had 2 different ppl tell me in the same day how they loved my kids. I don't know that a babysitter or day care would have had the same effect on my kids. I say if you are able to stay home then do it - you can always go back to work but you can't go back in time to stay home w/ your kids. Good luck.

Stifler's - posted on 04/29/2012

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I am a SAHM and I think all the time about what would happen if my husband wasn't around anymore. Being a SAHM isn't for everyone and if you're freaking out maybe do a few days at work and save up your money for emergencies. Being gone for 2 days of the week is still being a SAHM pretty much.

Tamyra - posted on 04/28/2012

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Hi Leslie,
I totally understand. I had always worked to and when I remarried in 2007 my husband and I had 5 kids between us already. Now my 2 are still at home and in 2010 we added our daughter. My husband wanted me to stay at hom because of illness in daycare and he wanted me to care for her. I was happy, but upset because I felt I needed to work to help out. I'll admit I have had days when I have felt useless, but I think I would have missed her first step, her first word and all her firsts.. I did miss these with my last child. All I can tell you is it is ok to have the feelings you are having, but just look at your children and know how blessed you are to be with them. You have great husband who loves you. Enjoy it!! Take care.

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Grace - posted on 08/14/2013

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please stop having mixed emotions, being a SAHM is a great thing you're blessed, jus spend most of your time reading books, internet. Don't even think of what will happen to your husband that is for God not you. Your husband loves you he will provide for the family, be happy and enjoy don't stress out.

- Just do a monthly budget
- Clean your house
- Decorate your house

keep on learning about SAHM.

BE BLESSED

Alesia - posted on 08/05/2013

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It is totally normal to feel this way and I certainly did when I left my full-time job. It's a transition, but you will get used to it. I took me a good month to month and a half to adjust. I did end up taking a part-time job to supplement our income and have some time out of the house. I've also never been so exhausted or felt like I've worked so hard in my life. It's non-stop, but honestly you will never regret it. I went back to work for about 4 months after having my second child and between commuting and our hectic schedule I just couldn't do it anymore. I had a hard time deciding what to do especially since I had gotten a job offer in the town I lived (so no more commuting), but then I'd just be going to work to pay for childcare. Anyhow, someone said to me, "When you look back on your life, will you wish you would have worked more or had more time to spend with your children?". That hit me so hard and was a turning point for my decision to stay home.

I wish you the best of luck and try going to the library and looking at some books with fun activities you can do with your kids and ways you can start teaching them new things because seeing the fruits of your labor in the new things they learn and say is so REWARDING. Lastly, I recommend you read this book: "In Praise of Stay at Home Moms" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. It is an amazing, uplifting, and straightforward book that will help you see how great your decision to be a SAHM really is.

Blessings to you and your family!

Leslie - posted on 04/30/2012

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Thank you ! It really helps having all diffrnt types of advice. To be honest it really helps and now im feeling much better about being a SAHM. Thank you!!!

Sal - posted on 04/29/2012

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I think Sahm or working mums both have mixed emotions about their choices, and both can be right and neither is set in concrete, what I feel is that a Sahm contributes to the house hold so much, there is real value to your choice,not just the cooking and cleaning it frees up quality time to spend with your hubby children and friends (on a personal level only) we as a couple spend quality time relaxing at home, as the house work cooking shopping yard is all done.I was a working mum and I was up all night and busy all weekend doing the stuff that I now do during the day, don't get me wrong there are days when I never sit down and the kids do mh head in (ESP when hubby is on nights and weekends or ESP weekend night shift) I know if I had to go to work on mondays after hubby worked all weekend and then have the kids alone for the nights as well I wouldn't feel my hubby was helping me out much and I would resent that...

Lynette - posted on 04/29/2012

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I worked before I had my first son, but my husband has always been the main provider. I have never had to work full time and this was my choice. My hubby has always had the mind set that it's his job to provide for me. He's always let me work because I wanted too for fun. So then when I became pregnant with my first born things changed. I really wanted to go back to work not so much for the money but for the love of my job and co workers. However things changed when my son came into the world. Suddenly only he mattered and I said goodbye to the job I loved so much. Now I'm 8 months pregnant with my second son and I work from home now. I've personally never had mixed feelings. If anything I feel lonely because I'm the only one out of my friends that's a mom so my social life is non existent. However that's about it XD I say dont beat yourself up on your feelings, Perhaps things will change once your baby gets here :D Lots of luck to you!!

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