I need some advice

Michelle - posted on 10/08/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I'm a stay at home mother of two girls. I am 7 months post partum. Well, turns out I"m pregnant again. I had such a HARD time with my second baby. I also have not fully recovered from the potty pains that I have had. I developed anal fissures after giving birth to my baby due to constipation, and I still haven't recovered from it. Although, it had gone away for a month, but to my horror, came back after I quit everything I was doing, stupid I know! Anyway, I'm super scared. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have an anal fissure and probably some internal hemorrhoids. I am going to an appointment today for "rectal bleeding." Yes, I know. That's gross. But my bum hasn't been the same since giving birth SEVEN months ago. With my first, it took 9 months to not hurt when I went potty, but I never bled or developed a rip.
I know this sounds so bad, but I've thought about abortion. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any means planning on getting one, but it has crossed my mind and I feel guilty. I am pro-choice. But I'd never get one myself. I also don't believe in god, at least not the Christian version. I'm pagan. So, please do not guilt trip me on how God blesses us with babies. Anywho, like I said. I'm not goin to get one. It's selfish that I thought about it just because of my bum, but I can't help it. It feels like it's just never going to get better. Not to mention, the constipation that comes with pregnancy. And then pushing during birth, just seems like it'll happen all over again.

I didn't plan on having ANY more children after these two. My husband wanted a boy eventually, but I said no. Not after my bum. Now this happens! And of course, that's not the only thing I"m scared about. Can my body handle this? I had GD with my second baby. Not first. I'm scared of getting diabetes for real afterwards. I'm a little overweight because of the second baby, but I'm not obese. And I was working on getting my pre pregnancy body back with Jillian Michaels body revolution that lasts 13 weeks. But now I can't do that! Can my body really handle this? Can my psyche handle this? Two babies under two. It's scary. I know a lot of older generation did it. And I honestly don't understand how. Some days, I just want to rip my hair out with two children. I can't imagine three.
I guess I'm asking, is this a common thing? Did your body recover after pregnancies being close to each other? Will I get through this? Ugh. My husband has agreed to get a vasectomy after this child. Not sure if they'll let him though, him being so young. I am 3 and a half years older than him. My first isn't from him.

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Stefany - posted on 10/08/2015

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I am so sorry to hear of all your pains, I can relate though. I have an 18 yr old, an 11 yr old and a 10 yr old that I placed for adoption. Much to my horror I discovered I was pregnant shortly after giving birth to my second. I had GD with the last two. I knew that I emotionally/mentally couldn't handle it, so I placed the third for adoption. Best decision I ever made. ( I know it's not for everyone) the father of my children and I aren't together anymore. He couldn't understand why or what I was going through, so 7 years after all this I called it quits. I gave it my best shot, but it wasn't working and I had to do what was best for me. My body did recover. It took a while and after the third I had hemorrhoids removed and my physique didn't bounce back as fast, but it will get better.

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