i need someone to help me

Ina - posted on 12/01/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )

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i am really very confuse about how i treat my baby .. when my temper burst out i can't control it anymore and it end up hitting my baby and after that i would cry to death because of doing so. why i cannot control my temper what are the possible reason. sometimes i would thing what if i am not a worthy mother to this child? but i know deep inside me how i love my baby i would give my life to her even.my only problem is my temper and i hate it so much.



During my childhood life i was the victim of child abuse physically and emotionally by my own mother.what she did to me before sometimes i could do to my baby. please help am i the only person doing this?

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Jessica - posted on 12/11/2012

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Many ppl can say you need help but if you have a temper right now that won't help. Place your child in a room, like a time out but for yourself, make sure the room is safe and walk away. Still seek help from a doctor though.

I can tell you love your child or you wouldn't have posted this. You can stop the cycle of abuse.

Ina - posted on 12/11/2012

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to all who post for advice thank you so so much guys.

thank you so much for all the overwhelming advice,i felt i have family here.

i will have my second session in counselling because the most important thing to me is my little one i will do everything to avoid this temper.





once again thank you so much you are all my family here.

God bless us all.

Mom - posted on 12/10/2012

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I was terribly abused as a child.I always said I would never do that to one of my own.I am a mother of 5 children that are now grown.I have 13 Grandchildren.Yes I got angry at times,but would walk away and count to 10 and calm down,before I did anything to my children.

Children can push your buttons and they need to learn it is not acceptable,but in a way that they can understand.Hitting a child will only make them grow up the way you did.Think before you act.Do you want them to grow up that way? Go to an anger management class or see a counselor to get rid of all the hurts from your child hood.I did and it did wonders for me.A lot of things I went through I didn't even remember until I started talking to a counselor Your a loving Mom or you wouldn't have asked for help.So do what you need to get better and quit being angry all the time.The anger can destroy your life happiness too.Let it go!

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Katrina - posted on 12/04/2012

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First off I want to say how brave you ladies are, to ask for help. That's not easy.



Ina, the other mums have given great advice. Your family doctor can help and will be able refer you onto someone who can help you to understand what causes your anger outbursts and give you strategies to manage it. Raising children is a big job. It's clear that you love your little girl and that you really want help. Well done for asking for help.The sooner you can get to your doctor the better. Kep us updated with how you are going. All the best xxx

Gina - posted on 12/02/2012

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I too lived in a very abusive situation as child. My parents were terrible to my siblings and myself.

After i had my baby at the age of 18 i had a lot of issues to deal with. I ended up with a lot of feelings of anger and resentment. I never hurt my child, but i was afraid of myself when i became frustrated. I couldn't handle the crying. I think it reminded me of the abuse i had to witness and the crying of my brother during the beatings. i had been in therapy since i was 5, and i decided to seek professional help. It turned out that i had Bi-Polar disorder and PTSD. Even though i knew i couldn't control my anger i felt i should be able to for my daughter, without help. I had to lock myself in my bathroom and cry for 5 minutes a couple of times a day just to cope.

Now that i am older and i know that my illnesses are not my fault i have come to terms with it. But i still wonder what might have happened if i hadn't gotten the help i needed. My daughter is now a beautiful, happy, loving 10 1/2 year old. And we talk about everything. She knows about my issues and excepts me for who i am, as i except her for who she is.

Please don't wait any longer to get help. It's never too late, and you owe it to yourself and that precious little gift to be the happiest, healthiest mom you can be. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help, I can tell that you want it. If your husband doesn't understand, then do it on your own. My husband doesn't get it either!

Good luck, and please post again. I would like to know how things have turned out for you. You have a lot of people who care about you, even if you don't know them!

Ina - posted on 12/02/2012

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thank you so much for all the advice it helps a lot. sadly i cannot open up with my husband because he too cannot understand me but it's OK i will find ways to heal myself. my husband judges me about many things also. it seems that he's holding me on my neck. all i want is to loosen up my temper for my precious child, she is two years now very beautiful and charming she likes to dance and sing.

Judy - posted on 12/01/2012

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Go get professional help. It may be as simple as post-partum depression or a pattern of abuse that you've been taught by your mother. Either way you need help. Only a mother who refues to get help is not worthy of her child. Talk to your doctor.

[deleted account]

You need professional help. Are you seeing any doctor?

Talk to your doctor, your general physician will be able to help you and refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist. You are certainly not the first mom to go through this, don't be ashamed or afraid to talk to someone about it--you NEED to get help before you hurt your little one.



It could be PPD, or it could stem from your childhood trauma, in either case, you can't beat it all on your own and for the sake of your little one, you need to get help.

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