i nned help

Verona - posted on 03/24/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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What to do with a teenage boy that keeps getting on levels at school.

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Megan - posted on 03/24/2010

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my grandma would take everthing out of my room.(and i mean EVERYTHING from paper to clothes)...the only way i could clothes was to nicely ask for an outfit.....when i stopped acting out igot wot my stuff back starting woth the little thing like clothes and books endig about 5 months later with me getting my radio cd player and cds back

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Rosemary - posted on 03/26/2010

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My kids would lose their most precious items till the problem got better ( their vidio games and t.v.) you may need to take it out of his room or wherever it's easy for him to get his hands on it.

Kristin - posted on 03/25/2010

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Feel free to ground him and revoke all prviledges. These must be earned back and one at a time. Remove things from his room, they can be earned back as well. Nothing wrong with reminding him that if he is going to act like a child, you will treat him as such and that does include in front of his friends. There is nothing more horrifying to a teenager than being dressed down in front of their friends.

At 13, he's got a lot going on hormonally too. You may want to explore, with him, constructive outlets (music, athletics, arts) for his energy and feelings. Also, do praise him for everything he does that you do approve of and tell him that you love him.

Good luck.

Verona - posted on 03/25/2010

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Hi Tiara. We had a good talk when he come home from school and he is grounded until i say so, all his stuff is still in his room but he is not aloud to touch them. The worst thing is dose'nt like is he can't go down town with his mates and he can't touch his stuff in his room.

Verona - posted on 03/25/2010

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Hi Bethany, i am an Aussie as well, levels is when you have done bad things at school you start at level one when it gets to level 3, that means you have a piece of paper you have to get signed by every teacher you have for for a week or maybe longer. then the next step is time at home. To answer your other question it is a bit of both, i think he is hanging around the with wrong ppl again.

Tiara - posted on 03/24/2010

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Then maybe take them off him & let him think its for good. Hide them away maybe at a friends house if he knows your hiding places. Tell him that you have given them to kids that deserve them. LOL....Na that's mean. But keep @ it. Extend the time frame that he goes without them. He will soon miss them enough to behave. But be persistent. Take something away for every bad dead. And dont give in. Stand staunch.
Another thing that worked with me was my grandparents getting me a tutor. I acted out @ school because I didnt know what I was doing. I didnt understand some of the hard stuff. As soon as I knew what I was doing & understood the work I behaved better. I went from being the disrupter to the 1 telling everyone else to shut up "I'm trying to do my work" This shocked the hell out of my teachers.
Also....take time out just for the 2 of you. After a week of good behaviour take him to the movies or timezone. Tell him that if he can behave for a whole month with no incidents that you'll take him to luna park or some place like that depending on where you live. I found that my 5 yr olds behaviour improved dramatically once he was rewarded for a good day at school. Then a week. Now he is rewarded monthly. But 1 bad day at school & the outing is canceled. Then I blackmail him to have the outing reinstated if you get my drift.

Bethany - posted on 03/24/2010

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is this behavioural, or academic? Not sure what "getting on levels" means, I'm Australian.

Verona - posted on 03/24/2010

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Thanks Tiara, we have taken his playstation,TV,sterio and all other things off him that he likes and even grounded him before and it worked, but he just gose back to his old ways. I dont know what to do with him, he is on the last level before he is suspened from school and he is only 13.

Bethany - posted on 03/24/2010

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Megan, that's excellent! Posessions are a privilage when they're bought for you, and to have to learn their value is a great lesson from your grandma.

Tiara - posted on 03/24/2010

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Hi Verona. I dont have teens yet. A long way off it too but I'm only 25 & it doesn't seem that long ago that I was one myself.
My grandparents would restrict my allowance & remove the things I loved when my grades dropped. For example. I had a tv & game console in my room which they would take away from me. Instead of grounding me they would ban me from watching tv, playing my Nintendo & the computer for a week @ a time. Sometimes 2 depending on the severity of my bad behaviour. This did wonders. As I didn't really play outside anyway but I loved my tv & computer games. I soon shaped up when I wasn't allowed to watch my favourite shows & play my fav games.
It doesn't have to be tv or the computer either. If he has a favourite toy or his bike or skateboard. Just take it away from him for a week @ a time & he'll soon work out that if he doesn't behave he wont have his favourite things. I use this method on my 5 yr old & he responds well to it. All you can do is try.
Good luck love.

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