I realize this is a delicate topic, but...

Ashley - posted on 01/22/2011 ( 122 moms have responded )

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I know this is not really something people talk about often, but I am at a loss for where to gather information about this, and Circle of Moms is the only place that I can think of. My husband grew up in a "naked" family, if you know what I mean. I did not. No one in my house walked around with out clothes on, unless there was a good reason (i.e. just got out of the shower, changing, using the bathroom, etc.)
I am concerned about our daughter. She is only 10 months old right now, but I have read a few things suggesting that in children preschool age and older, seeing a parent of the opposite sex naked can be detrimental to their development.
What is your experience with nudity around the house? Do you and your spouse agree on this? Has it had good or bad effects on your children?

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I still shower with my 3 year old son. Nakedness is only a problem if Mommy & Daddy MAKE it a problem. When either myself or my son begins to feel uncomfortable around one another nude, then we will stop. It most certainly is NOT going to be a detriment to your child's development to see you or your husband naked. If anything, I think parents who freak out about it, are being more of a detriment because they are teaching children from a young age that nudity is something to be ashamed of. It's really simple though. If you're uncomfortable being naked around your child, then don't do it. All families are different and there really is no "right" answer to this question. It's all about what you feel is right for YOUR family.

Laura - posted on 01/22/2011

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Personally it's only a problem if the parent or child are uncomfortable. I still take showers with my 2 year old boy. I can't go to the bathroom without either my 2 or 4 year old walking in. I still change in front of them. If they ask questions I tell them the truth about body parts. And when boy #3 comes in a few weeks I will breastfeed in front of them. My children know it's not appropriate to be naked around strangers but right now I'm not worried about it.

I would also like to add I am a private person, I cover up when I breastfeed in public, I don't like wearing skin revealing clothing or cleavage (if I had any) but I don't want to make it a big issue with my kids.

Charlie - posted on 01/23/2011

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I shower with my boys and I grew up in a "naked " house , it taught me to be comfortable about the human body , I personally think the more taboo you make the more you destroy the idea that the human body is natural and not something to feel perverted about or disgusted about .



Giving a healthy respect to it by being natural is far better than giving it unnecessary perversion .



The only people who make it perverted are perverts if you are not a pervert ( and I am sure your not ) then it shouldn't matter .



PS I still see my mum naked occasionally when I pop over and really need to talk to her , we chat while she is getting dressed , to me it's a non issue like it's not even happening .

Lubna - posted on 01/22/2011

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I think you need to have a talk with your husband. If you appear or are uncomfortable with his or nudity in general, your child will pick up on this. My husband and I still take showers with our 3 year old daughter. She has asked questions about body parts and we have answered simply and honestly. She appears comfortable with her body and yet has observed and follows that nudity among other people (extended family, friends, strangers) is not appropriate. Since we do not go around naked in front of these people. When the time comes that she does not feel comfortable with our presence when naked, then we will respect that. She has just recently asked for privacy when going to the bathroom. That means I knock on the door now before asking her if she needs help. What I am trying to get at is children will follow your example and develop body awareness by how you choose to go about it with your spouse.

Aislinn - posted on 01/22/2011

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I don't understand what about that would be detrimental to a child's development. Link to that information?

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Karen - posted on 03/30/2012

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Let me start by saying I was not raised in a house where we ran around naked. The only nudity I ever saw growing up was mostly my own or other little kids and my younger sibs only because they were very young. Thats not to say I didn't see my parents naked because I did , mostly when I was young and would walk in on them, but they never panicked and covered up...just went about their buisness and got dressed and made it a non issue. Seen my parents and sibs many times in their undies or towel to and from the shower, even into our teens and to be honest with you my undies as my moms and sis's coverd a lot more skin than any bathing suit I owned then. I think thats another whole debate.



Growing up I don't recall ever being nude accidentaly or on purpose in front of my family after I was about 10 and never saw my family except the odd accidental sighting as well.



Fast forward to my dating years, many boyfriends, many attempts to get me naked, all failed .Not to say there wasn't a lot of fumbling under clothes and exposing certain parts from time to time but never total nakedness.



When I was 18 my parents and family moved away for work. I chose to stay because I had a job, so I rented a little apartment from an older couple in an upstairs in a house in arural area.After rent I didn't have much money so I discovered many ways to say money and one was to cut down on my laundry. I figured I lived alone so I didn't need to get clothes dirty around the apartment so when I got home I would strip to my undies to get an extra day out of my work clothes.Since I was living this decadent lifestyle I started to sleep nude and it got so I would actually go braless after my shower and walk around in just my panties, was no one around to see any way and the old couple living downstairs kept the heat on high it was more comfortable that way anyway.Well by the 3rd month living there I would just be naked as soon as I got in the door. I wished I had discoverd at home nudism much earlier. But just for me I had no desire to be naked around anyone else.



Fast forward to today , to say I evolved would be an understatement. As I said else where our household nudity depends on the weather. If its warm there is more of it. As far as the kids go we never encouraged it or discouraged it. Yes we would walk around nude from time to time and after they were in bed we would sit and watch tv naked after a shower and such. When the kids started to cover up we would do the same. Mostly arounfd puberty. When my grils started to develope they started nto wear at least panties around the house and to this day still do. Sometimes topless but mostly a tee and panties or bra and panties. My boys kinda the same wore indies a lot or shorts but would still on occasion streak around the house naked , never the girls. So we dressed according to them I wore panties around them but was topless a lot and hubby would cover as well. The only time they would see us nude was the shower/laundry run which we all still do.



My kids are very well adjusted and comfortably with themselves and their bodies. They have no hangups about the opposite sex and nudity and have chosen well with their bfs/gfs so far. They also respect the boundaries of nudity at home and don't run around the country exposing themselves. They view it as a family thing and not all familys do it.



As I type this wearing a bathrobe, my oldest daughter is home visiting from university just walked into the kitchen drying her hair, stark naked. She put her towel on a chair and walked over a got herself a cup of coffee and is now sitting at the table having a conversation with her dad who has boxers on. Conversation is just normal and nonchalant as it would be any where.



I think if you just let nature take its course whether you are home nudists or partially dressers or wear regular clothes all the time if you just treat your kids right they will evolve to their own self with out any problems. The whole nudity thing is overblown . There is no right or wrong with this issue.I don't think it makes any difference . I grew up in a house of clothing to the point of excess and never really seen a naked person till I was married and I grew up just fine. So far my kids have grown up with nakedness as part of their lives and seem to be doing just fine..



I think the most important thing to rember is to never react too quickly or harshly if you are ever caught naked and let your kids lead you on how much and when nudity is comfortable for them....it does change over time



Karen

Nataschia - posted on 03/28/2012

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My kids are naked every second I turn around. Its natural they think it's fun and freeing my fience and I are in the same boat. I was born naked it's my favorite outfit. Nothing to be ashamed of being naked in your home in a non sexual way is , I feel, only teaching to be confident and comfortable. Clothes keep us warm but aren't necessary. Of course there are reasons to wear clothes and are teaching them that they need clothes in public and stuff. But just hangin out in your room or sleeping is absolutely fine. I'm not ashamed to show my shoulder so why should any other part be different. Also before my kids I was a little modest but I breast fed so nurses family members drs etc. Came in my boobs out and all kinda just went out the window as sexual organs but as feeding tools. If your child removes his or her clothed off don't scold its exploration and freeing, scolding may cause low self esteem bad body image and attachment/relationship issues. Just simply say oh wow silly your naked let's get warm clothes on you. Also it may be a sign theyre ready for potty training they don't want a wet diaper on so there goes the pants and diaper, oh might as well tak shirt off too. Also check the clothes they may be tight itchy or uncomfortable or too hot. Or simply learning how to dress/ undress themselves which is a good thing.

Tasha - posted on 07/28/2011

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I think its what is comfortable for you and your family, if your not comfortable dont do it, if you are then feel free. I dont believe that there is a cut off age or anything where all of a sudden its not acceptable. Your child will let you know if they become bothered by nudity, i really dont see how seeing the opposite sex can be detrimental, use it as a teaching tool, you teach your children where their nose is, and their ears, you have to teach them about private parts too, what better than the real thing? its so different for every family. I totally agree that we americans make a huge deal over nudity, for no reason. We are born naked, shower, sex, there are even groups for people who love being naked all the time, more power to you. But overall teaching ourselves and our children that we are beautiful and to not be ashamed of our bodies no matter what they look like.

Jessica - posted on 07/28/2011

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Nudity is natural and only taboo because we have made it so. European countries are so much more free with their bodies and their children do not suffer any ill effects from it. I fink it quite the opposit. The kids learn that there is absolutely no reason to be ashamed of their bodies and nudity isn't a bad thing just a relatively private thing to be kept in the home in an appropriate manner.

Krystle - posted on 07/24/2011

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So me and my husband do not walk around naked and dont let the kids see us naked unless we just get out the shower or are changing! and really thats only me my husband refuses to let the kids see him naked! i think it sets some what of boundries cause you dont want your kids to think its ok for people to see them naked. they should know that its kinda private you know! my 3 yr old wont change in front of anyone besides me or her dad! so i understand your concern and hope this helps a little.

Angelique - posted on 07/23/2011

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We are not a "walk around naked" kind of family but we do allow the kids to see us naked. My husband won't be naked in front of them past 4 or so because he doesn't want that to be a memory in their minds. I don't let them see me naked, per se, but in my underwear is fine. I'm a SAHM..it's bound to happen with 3 kids who always need something. However, there's nothing detrimental about it in my opinion. You're family and as long as there isn't anything sexual going on your child shouldn't be harmed by it, or scarred because they saw their parents in their natural state. We teach the kids at an early age the only people who should see them naked are their family members or dr. If you teach your kids to be embarrassed by their nakedness they be afraid to come to if something is wrong with that body part or have a question. It's your child, not some random stranger.

Donna - posted on 07/23/2011

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there's nothing wrong with being naked, it's all in how it is put out there for all to see. Being naked in the home is one thing and is certainly NOT like being in a strip bar. Those who think being naked is a sin need to rethink their own issues of being naked. God made us naked, we were born naked! Goodness people, quit being prudes about the naked body! There is nothing wrong with being naked in the home in front of infants and young toddlers. If you've got a problem with it and project that issue onto your children, you are doing more harm that way than by walking around without any clothes on. Come on, people. Get over your inhibitions and be adults about this. If you you are really uncomfortable, keep clothes on, but please, don't tell us we have to. Strip clubs are for immoral purposes anyway, but certainly not walking around the house w/o any clothes on. Don't have sex in front of your kids, then you'll be ok. But really, grow up people!

Teresa - posted on 07/23/2011

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We are not a naked family but per se but I am more likely to be naked than my hubby. I do not think it harms a child at all. Naked is natural.

Amie - posted on 07/23/2011

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If it was normal and not sexual (which a naked body in and of itself is not) then there's no reason to be uncomfortable or feel weird at all.

It's exactly what Sherri said, we don't view it as sexual, it's just a body. Created exactly as God (or your spirit or science of choice of belief) intended with nothing to feel weird about.

You guys call it weird, I call it shame.

Shame:
the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another:

If you don't want to call it shame, so be it. It's what I see. There is nothing dishonorable, disrespectful, improper, weird, etc. about a naked body. It's just a body.

What people DO with their bodies is another story. There is a vast difference between strippers being sexual and stripping off their clothes erotically and a family just walking around in the nude or almost nude.

[deleted account]

Honestly I don't see it being detrimental unless something sexual is going on. My dad would walk around in his underwear and both my sister and I found it gross as kids. My husband doesn't feel comfortable with changing in front of our 20 month old. I like being covered. I teach my daughter to remain covered. It's isn't out of shame, but out of respect of ones own body.

[deleted account]

I should add that I do agree that people are taught to respect their bodies by not running around naked. If there were nothing wrong with nakedness then strip clubs wouldn't be all dark and secretive. But thank goodness we are taught this, having these lessons are what separate us from the rest of the animal kingdom. Animals are perfectly comfortable being naked and they are also perfectly comfortable raping each other daily... that's what happens when you don't think to respect your body.

They also fling poo and eat their young, so I'd like to distance myself from their "natural" behavior if possible. I would hope the rest of the human race would want the same.

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Amie, I completely disagree. My parents raised me all sorts of ways and I grew up and chose how I wanted to live my life without their influence. That's what people do when they grow up, pave their owe way.



As for learning "shame" for the naked body, that's absurd. I don't have shame about pooping, it's natural and actually I quite like to do it. I often share with my spouse if I've had a particularly relieving poop. And he is happy to hear of it, because we share those close personal things. But I would not call up my mom and tell her I've had a nice poop. Not because I'm in anyway ashamed that I poop (heck, I'm telling you now) but because some things are personal. Like pooping and nakedness. It's nice to have somethings that you share with only a close few people. I choose to only see my husband naked and not my father or mother (thank goodness) because I love nakedness and I think it's so special and beautiful that if you show everybody it loses some of it's specialness.



If you think you have to be naked for everybody in the world to feel no shame about your body, then that's your choice. I'm perfectly happy respecting my body and those around me without having to look at say my moms nipples... they're her nipples, not mine. She should treasure them and share them with those people who can truly appreciate them, like her young nursing children and her husband.



And yes, I would feel angry if my parents had such a disrespectful attitude about the naked human body. So don't tell me how or what I should feel, that's ridiculously presumptuous.

Amie - posted on 07/22/2011

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Ashely - if your parents had raised you that their is nothing wrong with naked bodies, including theirs, I can't see you being angry with them. Well unless they did raise you that way and you learned shame afterwards. That is what you are describing - shame at a naked body. There's no reason to be angry or feel anything weird about it. It's just a naked body, no matter whose it is.



My parents didn't run around naked but they didn't make sure to cover up all the time either. My dad was famous for walking around in his gitch. My mom still changes in front of me and walks around butt arsed naked if she chooses. In my home too! =O



There's no shame and nothing weird about a naked body. It's just a body. Adults and kids learn to feel weird about it because they were/are taught to be that way.



Mine still prefer to be naked instead of clothed. Well except our oldest, she's found "fashion" and thinks its "cool" to dress a certain way. Fun times. =/

[deleted account]

I can agree to that. I was just expressing my opinion that I wouldn't be very happy if my parents allowed that... and as they say, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". So, I figured I wouldn't want my mom or dad doing that to me so therefore I wouldn't want to put anybody else through that either. I do realize this is just a matter of opinion though... at least I'm pretty sure it is... but who knows one of us might be horribly wrong... I haven't a clue.

[deleted account]

I imagine most people you would be friends with would share your views, that does make sense- yes. I don't know what you picking like minded friends has anything to do with this topic though. Unless you're friends with over a million people you've hardly reached statistical credibility.

Anywho, I imagine that the way houses are actually build (with doors) reflects the majority of peoples views on this issue. It would be odd to design a building based on what the minority of people are looking for. People like doors in their house with yes (gasp) their families because they like privacy so as not to be seen naked by the rest of the family.

With that said, I sympathize with your living situation and don't think the way your family has adapted is odd at all.

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Also, if nobody ever thought there was anything wrong with watching people dress, shower or poop... why are there always doors on these rooms.. and not like screen doors or glass doors, but always very solid doors. It's like some crazy people thought ,"hey it might be nice if not everybody in this household could see me naked!"

[deleted account]

There is nothing wrong with being naked. There is something wrong with sharing your naked body with whole family. I love my body and I am 100% comfortable with it. I don't need to love my mom's body in the same way. That's just weird. Your kids are comfortable with it because you've allowed them to be. And all I'm saying is that if my mom had done the same to me, I would very angry with her for pushing her views that it's okay to look at your parent's naked bodies. Maybe you should have let your kids know that many people find what your doing objectionable before you got them comfortable with the idea. Just to be fair.

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If I ever saw either of my parents naked I'd be super grossed out. And if they were strange enough to raise me so I was somehow comfortable with their nudity I would be very angry with them for doing so. Babies are cute naked and toddlers are too... but after that no one really needs to see anybody else naked unless there's a good reason, i.e. doctor, spouse. What's the point of having your child comfortable with your naked body, it's not like there's any purpose for them to be seeing you naked. There are books for describing anatomy... it's not like you have to strip down in order to teach your kids about puberty so why would you use familiarizing your child with anatomy as an excuse for not getting into clothing when little eyes are watching.

Kacie - posted on 07/22/2011

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Well i havent ready all 5 pages yet, but i'll go ahead and answer....

We're not a modest household at all! i sleep naked, i dont put clothes on for a good 30min-1hr after getting out of the bath/shower, the only time the bathroom doors are closed is if people are over and/or its shower/bath time.

our son will be 6 in october. we use his noticing and pointing out differences as a teaching experience. none of us are uncomfortable with it. When he expresses that he's uncomfortable with me walking around/sitting around naked, then i'll cut back. but as of right now, he couldnt care less!

Michelle - posted on 07/22/2011

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Walking around naked I think would be an issue with only opposite sex kids. I mean, my only kid is a daughter, and I do walk around naked when I get out of the shower. I don't think I would do it with a son once he got school age, but my daughter is 14 and I don't think anything of it. OTOH, I would have a HUGE issue if her father did that.
I think this is one of those issues where a double standard is completely appropriate.

Michelle - posted on 07/22/2011

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Walking around naked I think would be an issue with only opposite sex kids. I mean, my only kid is a daughter, and I do walk around naked when I get out of the shower. I don't think I would do it with a son once he got school age, but my daughter is 14 and I don't think anything of it. OTOH, I would have a HUGE issue if her father did that.
I think this is one of those issues where a double standard is completely appropriate.

Donna - posted on 07/21/2011

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A 10 month old hardly has any idea that people are naked. They don't associate clothes/no clothes on people, only that people are there. I'm not sure where you got your information regarding seeing someone of the opposite sex naked being detrimental to their development, you don't cite your source, so I can't speak to that. I rarely believe anything I read or hear anyway, and I believe that you have to take what you read and hear with a grain of salt. It's all speculative anyway and just because one study says one thing doesn't mean you won't find another study saying the complete opposite. Occasionally my husband will step out of the bedroom naked and our daughter is 8 years old. She has almost always seen her father or I without clothes on and she usually sleeps naked herself - yes, she does put clothes on before she comes out of her bedroom, but the point is, my daughter doesn't think twice about seeing her father naked, although she is getting older and we are going to have to stop the practice all together here pretty soon. She knows her father is different in all respects to her and the talk about the opposite sex and their differences has already been discussed. But only because she brought up the subject and I wasn't going to wait until dad got home to talk about it. The subject of sex hasn't come up yet, but I know it will, even though she has been through Human Growth and Development since she was in Kindergarten. All age appropriate pictures and discussions of course, with my full approval and being able to see the materials in advance. Of course all of this is my personal opinion and you are going to have to do what you feel is best for you and your family. I see nothing wrong (bad, gross, disgusting) with your 10 month old seeing her father without clothes on. However, if you are uncomfortable with it, perhaps you are the one who needs to relax and become comfortable with it. That's the problem with the internet these days, there is so much bad information out there about things like this. I would talk to other mothers with children the same age as your little one. I think you're teaching your little one that being naked is bad and wrong and I can't imagine that is what you want to do. My daughter is very comfortable without clothes on, is she an exhibitionist? No way! But there is nothing wrong with being comfortable in your own skin. Take a look at why you are uncomfortable with the naked human body. Work through your own issues before imposing them on an innocent child. I believe that if you tell her not to look at her father when he has no clothes on you are going to cause more of an issue for her than if you just leave it alone. That's not to say that at some point dad will definitely have to keep his clothes on around his daughter, but now is not the time.

Sheridan - posted on 07/20/2011

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its a personal thing really. Its about how comfortable you are with your own body and with your kids. I dont think its an issue. I still shower with my 4 yr old daughter and will walk naked back and forth from bedroom bathroom with a teenage son around the house. I've asked if this makes him uncomfortable and he said he's fine,it's natural and he doesnt know any better.
I also respect that he is maturing and right now prefers not to be seen naked and will either dress before exiting the bathroom or wrap a towel around his waist. There shows that your daughter will grow up developing her own perspective on the issue as you both seem to have and until then, I would not make it an issue and just behave as you are if that is how you both feel comfortable with yourselves!

Danielle - posted on 06/06/2011

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My husband didn't grow up in a "naked" house but once we got married he became a "naked" person. Once our daughter was born he changed his idea of "naked". Once she started noticing, or pointing out, the differences between her and her daddy he would not go around naked any more. He will still walk around in his underware but so does she! I have never been a "naked" type person. It's always underware and an oversize shirt! The kids will be comfortable however you are comfortable. My son doesn't like to be "naked" at all! He's his mommies boy!!!

OhJessie - posted on 06/06/2011

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But this isn't about "a naked man" it's about the husband/father. Sure, if Joe Schmoe from next door were to strip nude in my house, I'd call the police, but my husband is not Joe Schmoe. When my husband would come out of the shower and my daughter was there I'd point and say "Hey, go put something on" but there was no anger behind it at all, and when I did the same, he said it to me. But there's really nothing to freak out about. Jeez, they're just bodies.

I'm with Nicole Van Zyl on this.

OhJessie - posted on 06/06/2011

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Well our kids grew up with nudity, and they both have what appear to be very healthy attitudes towards their bodies and no problem relating to people of either sex...it may depend on the attitude of the nudist; if it's casual and no one gets up in arms about it, kids seem to handle it ok. Anyway, good luck keeping her clothes on when she's 2 - 2 year olds streak constantly lol. Especially girls.

I really don't understand why these things would be saying seeing a parent naked is going to cause some kind of damage - it doesn't really make sense to me. Sounds like a Victorian holdover.

Shannintipton - posted on 06/06/2011

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I just posted this in another post. My son made the decision on his own. I was taking a bath and left the door open so that I could hear my 4 year old daughter. My 8 year son walked in as said "Oh Gross!"

Shannintipton - posted on 06/06/2011

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I just posted this in another post. My son made the decision on his own. I was taking a bath and left the door open so that I could hear my 4 year old daughter. My 8 year son walked in as said "Oh Gross!"

Nicole - posted on 06/06/2011

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we dont walk around naked just for the hell of it, if its hot and were watching tv well lay on a blanket on the floor and put the fan on - but well be wearing shorts and i will be wearing a tshirt too. but we bath with john and walk around naked infront of him after a bath or shower. i'm not scared of being naked, neither is hubby - but only around my family. im not one to go to nudist beaches etc.

John sometimes touches my naked body and names the parts. same with his father. he asks where my willy is, i just tell him i dont have one, i have aflower and special titties. i tell him he has a willy like daddy because they are boys but i have a flower cos im a girl. he jumps out of bed in the morning and into mine for a snuggle then he starts picking out what he wants to wear and i help, then he lets me undress him and rubs his tummy and says he is sexy with a big smile and we put his clothes on.. i dress right after. and we make breakfast. if this doesnt sound anything like what you would feel is 'normal' or acceptable in your home then rather keep covered.

personally i think that as long as a child grows up with parents that are comfortable with their nakedness amoungst the family - it wont be detremental - but if your son or daughter suddenly walks in the room and has never seen you naked before- i think that could be a bit of a shock. but i dont think it could be damaging. i do however think that after about the age of 6 we should be more private and show them that people of the opposite sex need there space, also that some people of the same sex prefer their privacy so never to assume that they will be comfortable. i suppose hubby and i were in boarding school from a very young age so nakedness in front of the same sex isnt much of an issue for us.although we are married now and noone other than my husband has seen my body - if something happened and my clothes had to be removed ie for medical reasons - i would be a bit shy and embarrassed but it wouldnt be as disturbing for me as it would for someone who has never been naked infront of someone else for egsample...

rambling here.. but i think u get the idea :o)

Heather - posted on 06/06/2011

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my rule of thumb with my kids is that when they start to show modesty, or they start to cover themselves up then the adults in their life also need to cover up. I have a 4 yr old and 7 yr old boys and we are still comfy if they walk in while i get dressed or they will poke their heads into the shower curtain to ask me a question and it is fine...i have a feeling that those days are numbered becasue my 7 yr old has started to shut the bathroom door about 50% of the time he is pooping (but never when he pees) so he will prob be starting to get modest soon. i would not stress about it but i would have open conversations with your hubby about it. I grew up in a fam that i don't remember ever seeing my mom or dad anything but fully dressed and we were not allowed to have anyone see up anything but fully dressed (even in jammies we needed to wear a bathrobe to keep covered) and i do not think that was neccessarily the healthiest situation either. So follow your heart, relax and keep the communication open :o)

Elfrieda - posted on 01/29/2011

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I don't know what we'll do when my son's older, but right now he's 13 months old and we're often naked around him. We've been talking about when is too old, but we've noticed that he has an interest in nipples (I stopped breastfeeding at 8 months, but maybe he still remembers, or maybe it's just the contrast in colour) but not in either of our "lower parts". It's like he has a built-in buffer zone or something. It's like he doesn't notice it at all. I guess once he starts noticing, it's time for underpants. :)

Konni - posted on 01/29/2011

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my parents raised us in a "naked" family saying that if we're not comfortable in our own skin we'll never be comfortable or confident in anything we wear. my boyfriend and i decided to raise our son (15 months) in an open environment, we dont flaunt nakedness, but at the same time we dont discourage it. we dont want him to think his body is an ugly thing that needs to be hidden. he's a happy healthy kid and me and my siblings grew up just find in the environment

Katherine - posted on 01/29/2011

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we all wear clothes inthis house. im so sorry. when my kids are in their crawling learning how to walk stage we just put a diaper and shirt on. i personally dont believe in allowing people to walk around naked because you dont know where it can lead to. scary subject. we didnt allow the kids to get dressed undressed in front of each other. 2 girls and 1 step son. no interaction with seeing each other naked at all. I do not want bad negative things to haappen in our home reguarding our children

Kristy - posted on 01/29/2011

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@ Joy, I know EXACTLY what you mean!!! That is probably one of my biggest pet peeves!!!! I had a lady do that to me for puncuality, or spelling, or whatever it was for... My thought is, if you can "correct" my post then you knew what I was going for in the first place!!!!! LOL!!! Some people, I swear! :)

Joanne - posted on 01/29/2011

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i would not feel comfortable my 2 year old daughter being around a naked man

Nicole - posted on 01/29/2011

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my brother and i used to bath or shower together till i was about 10/12 and he 12/14. my father used to walk around butt nekid till i was about 16/18.. i dont hink it has damaged me in any way. yes i knew what a penis looked like. but i did not even care about boys/boyfriends/sex till i was out of school - i was more interested in horses and surfing. i dont walk around nude except in the evening when john is already asleep. but he does see me when im in the shower or getting dressed in the morning. he points out that he and his father have 'toties' and says 'mama tities' and hugs me.
another thing is we have never been shy to ask my mother anything about sex. we have a very open relationship and ask her anything about anything. i dont mean i'de ask my mother about how to go about giving my husband/ boyfriend a BJ, but if i hear the word, knew it was something to do about sex but didnt understand what it meant - i would ask her/ my brothers...

Kari - posted on 01/29/2011

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I have 3 boys, ages 2, 9 and 10.I shower still with my 2 yr old and don't see this as much of a problem. Think of it this way as well,.. when you take a boy swimming to a public pool,.. and it's just you and him,.. he goes to change with you of course, and will see many forms of bareness in the change-rooms. Our public pools allow young boys to be in the female change room up till 7 years of age. You are only gonna be as comfotable as you feel. Personally,.. even with my 2 older boys,.. they have no problem with me seeing 'em naked as when they shower and such,.. they strip in their bedroom or hallway and walk openly to the shower,.. sometimes asking for help with the water temp. They also have no problem walking in the bathroom while I'm using it for any reason to ask a question to me even if I'm in the buff. They look in my eyes when they barge in, not at my body. All is good!

Martha - posted on 01/28/2011

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I understand where your coming from. Mommy and daddys families are polar opposites in this family. Total Dharma and Greg here. And we never made a big deal. Our daughter is 2 now and she will shower with either one of us or Japanese style with the three of us together. She knows that in public or the beach she is too much of a "big girl" to be running around naked. But at this age she is also learning about her own body. She calls her boobies "pimples" You and your man need to find a happy medium bc your children will also be confused by the two different feelings. As parents you should always show a united front. My daughter is allowed 5 min of "nakie" time after a shower or bath to get it out of her system then get ready for bed. I got my hubby to loosten up bc I could always tell he was kinda fighting the way he was brought up. He never minded being naked around the house. But he was uncomfortable showering with our daughter. I could tell he really was on the fence with his feelings. So I just told him that if he really didnt feel comfortable then not to. But then he thought about it and took the leap out of his comfort zone and was able to be more himself. Then his mom flipped out. But I just told her to mind her buisness.

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@ Stephanie ~ Yeah, the nasty PM's cross a line. There have been many times I've had to just walk away. I've gotten some pretty nasty PM's from people too. I think in the time I've been on CoM I've only reported one person for a nasty PM. I also had to seriously start picking my battles lol! Some people on CoM don't think before they speak on a regular basis. I mean, we're all human and get riled up sometimes. But when it gets personal or nasty, and you the person does it all the time? Unnecessary and time to walk away.



@ Kristy ~ It feels so....evolved of us lol And yes, I admit, the first time I read your post I did kinda read it the "other" way but then I read it again, and I saw what you were saying. Everyone needs to be "gently called out" at times, and that was the case with me. I've seen this kind of thing go WAY SOUTH before lol



Edited to fix a few grammar errors....another pet peeve of mine, especially when it's my posts lol

Sheleen - posted on 01/28/2011

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It can only be a problem if you make it, but there also comes a time in my opinion, that a daughter should no longer see her father naked, and a son should no longer see his mother. My daughter had to stop showering with my hubby as soon as she started becoming too interested or observant. Of course this was at a younger age for her becuase of her development. My son on the other hand just doesn't care and he's almost 2. So I think that it totally depends on the child and their level of comfort as well as yours as a parent. Like with my mom, she has grown tired of warning the kids that she's getting dressed or getting out of the shower, and stuff like that so she just does her thing and if they walk in they walk in! Like I said it's just different in each situation, go with what you feel is best for your family and your daughter's comfort and curiousness as she gets older. good luck.

Jaycie - posted on 01/28/2011

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I think that your choices are up to you assuming there are no lines being crossed. the first time your child begins to ask questions you will know what to do.... also think ahead to the future... do you want your child to think nudity in front of ne one is ok..???

Robin - posted on 01/28/2011

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i think kids need to know that bodies are not for sharing. i worked in daycare for 3 years and we had children who would strip for no reason and little boys (even at the age of 1) who would grab the workers boobs. HOWEVER...i don't think it's a problem to have kids see you in the bathroom or changing until they are old enough to have memories. but there's no reason to just hang out naked with your kids. and yes i do understand because before my son was born both my husband and i did occasionally do that, but it's not an environment for children to be in.

Kristy - posted on 01/28/2011

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@ Stephanie, Im so glad I didnt see that post! WHAT are some of these women thinking? A DOG babysitting? I pray for all of her children!!!!! I was really glad that Joy took my post the way I meant it to be, it really could have been read both ways and Im personally working on that :) But you are so right! Its a wonderful breath of fresh air for everyone to be mature and civilized! I was prepared for the worst! Thank you again Joy!

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Joy- Very true! I guess I had to learn the hard way haha. It was quite an experience. That was the worst I've seen on COM so far. I'm all for debating and feel like it's ok to agree to disagree but when someone personally attacks you by sending you a private message saying that they hope you get raped and die, that's going WAY too far. Some people definitely aren't playing with a full deck. ; )

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Stephanie, I know the exact post you're talking about and I stayed away from that one like the plague lol On some of the debates you don't even have to say anything because 10 other moms will say it FOR you lol

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@ Kristy & Joy:

It is so nice to see 2 women on here actually being mature, friendly and apologetic! In my experience lately it seems that some people are just looking for a fight and for someone to attack to maybe vent whatever frustrations they can't resolve in their own personal lives. For example, a mom posted that she leaves her baby home alone when she takes her older children to school but it's ok bc the dog babysits...how insane is that...and when I disagreed with that being ok I got nasty messages on my board and in my inbox...and to top it off when I responded to it and simply said "I disagree and fear for your baby's safety but wish you the best" she again berated me and said I am harrassing her. Way off the deep end! I know I'm veering off the subject here but COM has been a real pisser lately with people being so nasty and it takes the fun out of it. Glad to see some moms playing nice. ; )

Kristy - posted on 01/28/2011

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Joy, that is incredibly mature of you and for that I respect you! Most women do not take my posts that way... (Im working on writting and not sounding negative lol!) I didnt take offense personally, but reading some of your responses I was like "oh wow!! This is the stay at home moms forum!!!" :)))) I feel incredibly strong as well on most subjects!! I recently joined the PD&HT more for the laughter of what some people actually post!!! Its so funny to see someone take up for a completly rediculous arguement... (one recently Ive seen is someone actually defending smoking around their infant!!!) I look forward to talking with you more and seeing your views! I also understand the need to comment on some completly insane statements!! Ive been there, however Ive also run into some that are so beyond crazy I have to actually think of something to say!! Lol :)

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Kristy, my posts were not intended to be rude or hateful and if they came accross that way, I apologize. I am already a member of PD&HT, as well as Debating Mums. I post on debate forums quite often and sometimes I forget that not everything is a debate. My bad. As you can tell though, this is a sensitive topic for me. It's one of my pet peeves. I honestly wasn't trying to be rude. I was merely responding to other people who had posted, whose comments I found offensive, and perhaps I got a little carried away. If I offended you, or anyone else for that matter, I do sincerely apologize.

Cyndel - posted on 01/27/2011

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Once my son is fully potty trained (only a few months away) I'll stop going around naked, I don't do it all the time, but I know I'll miss it.

Kim - posted on 01/27/2011

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I personally am not comfortable with anyone walking around indecent in front of my children. that is just my opinion and not meant to offend. I try to be an example of decency for my kids. I try to preserve their innocence as well. She will learn everything she needs to know about the human anatomy at a more appropriate age in school

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