i really dont know wat to do

Rebecca - posted on 02/27/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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mine daughter of 2,5years old is now for the last 5day's without her dummy.

it go's good with sleeping.but during the day her karakter is not that ok.



she trows her toy's.dont listen.she is really nerveus.

today she was making a reall fuss and in the end i got so tired i put her in her sleeping bag and in her bed.door closed and just let her cry and screem.than she fell a sleep.



i felt like a really bad mum,but dont know wat to do?

she wake's-up these day's around 5.30-6.00



ami doing the right thing?

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Kristin - posted on 03/01/2010

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I think the acting up is probably less about the loss of her dummy(?) and more about needing something new to do. I've got a 2.5 year old boy and he is into everything. I'm constantly redirectng his energies into what I feel are acceptable activities and occasionally placing him in time out (2 minutes) for things (throwing stuff, hitting, not listening, etc.). He doesn't care for time out so I really make sure praise him for the things he does that I like, hugs and stickers seem to really work for him. This way we spend less time butting heads or arguing and more time having fun. Any child will take negative attention over no attention, but they really do well with positive attention.

If she's nervous about something, have you asked her what's bothering her? They are are really scary smart little creatures and sometimes just need to vocalize what is bothering them. You get to listen and maybe the two of you can come up with a solution together. She will feel like she has more control of the situation and you will be able to direct her toward something you are okay with. You've also laid some of the groundwork for future conversations.

You are not a bad mom. A tired mom, yes, but not a bad mom. You need to be patient with yourself and your daughter. There is nothing wrong with taking a bit of a time out for yourself if you need it. As long as you are both safe, no one will have grounds to criticize you. Take care of yourself. Good luck.

[deleted account]

Don't feel bad. Just do the best you can. Take breaks when you get overwelmed. Don't worry, she is not going to remember any of this.

Rebecca - posted on 02/27/2010

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yes we do have a bedtime routine.
but normaly in the afthernoon she sleeps with me.but because she made me so angry i put her in her own day.

in the evening no problems.
she go's in bath,than in bed we talk now because it takes her a bit to fall a sleep without the dummy.
so like 30min we talk about stuff than she sleeps.

today its the first time afther we took the dummy away that she woke-up without crying and ad 07.00
so that is a good start of the day i hope.

sometimes you can feel really like a bad mum,hope she wil not see me that way.but they dont understand yet that mummy's can be very tired too.

[deleted account]

She may miss the comfort of the dummy. Maybe you could try offering something you find acceptable, such as a soft toy to hold onto. Do you have a bedtime routine? My kids sleep better when we follow the same pattern everynight. I read a story, tuck them in, rub their backs while I sing a lullaby.

Melanie - posted on 02/27/2010

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the truth is sometimes kids get soooo tired they cant calm themselves. and if shes refusing her dummy its fine for her to be done with it. also nothing wrong with letting her cry especially if youve already tried everything. sometimes we mommies need a break too. dont feel guilty youre doing fine.

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Hmmm, well...this may be tiring, but remember the saying "Because I'm the Mommy!" (sometimes we need to remember that :) With any child the more consistant you are, the better off you will be. If your little girl is doing something you know she knows she can't do, stick to time outs. Do the same thing every time. With my kids it's 1'st time doing it is a warning. 2'nd is a time out, 3'rd is bed time. (or just a quiet dark room for a little while...depending on the time of day). The rule of thumb for teaching animals and humans is for them to learn something and do it without thinking is doing it repetatively 200 times. Good luck!

Rebecca - posted on 02/27/2010

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hi thanks for the tips.
but hr dummy we cut 6 days ago together.
thats not the problem.she hardly ask for it

the problemis that she is more nerveus now.and makes lots of troubel for nothing.mabey because without her dummy she sleeps the holw night but mabey diffrend than with a dummy.
she seems more tired.

just a few min ago she strart to trow hr toyes.so i took her put her sleepingbag on and in the bed.
just this time she only screemed dont put the light of and nothing.
so she must be sleeping.i dont want to look as amafraid she wakes up.

i just want to know if this is a right thing to do.as idont want to hit her.and am tired of jelling ad her.

am out of engery

Nicole - posted on 02/27/2010

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I took it away from my children slowly. I did not let them have it in public, then during the day and last took it away at night. My older daughter was in kindergarten and I did her brother at the same time so he was 4 ish. I think you need to follow your heart. I gave them a cloth diaper to sleep with at night and that seemed to help and they forgot abut that after a couple of weeks. Good luck!

[deleted account]

Do you have someone to help? With my little guy, we got him off of it when he slept at grandma's. She didn't let him have it, and he was good for her because she wasn't mommy. Another idea is to cut the tip off. She may not like it then. Slowly cut a little more until it is gone. She may end up getting rid of it on her own then.

Another thought, with Easter coming, is to give it to the Easter Bunnies babies. Tell your daughter that those babies need it more then she does and she if she will give it willingly to them.

Or have a bye-bye dummy party where she gives it to you, pop it in a mail bag, and "mail" it away. Then it is gone, and she no longer gets it, and she helped do it :)



Those are just some ideas. Good luck!

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