I want a new title. I don't like Stay At Home Mum.

Bethany - posted on 11/11/2009 ( 59 moms have responded )

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I don't stay at home, I don't go to work, I am a Mother, where ever I am. I know that Mothers in the paid workforce are mums all the time too, but I am literally with my daughter ALL THE TIME. She is 9 mths.



SAHM has a stigma, to me, and I am interested in a new label please. I was a student, then I was a traveller, then I was a working woman, now I am a Mother. Isn't that enough, does that say enough?



I am a Mother, with a capital M. I am raising my Daughter.



I mostly keep house, I like to as my husband works in a painfully stressful job ( I should know, it is my old job!). He takes care of the heavy stuff now that my back is completely shot to pieces, and cooks if I havn't made anything and he is hungry. He cleans if it isn't clean and he wants it clean.



I study the parenting books and the cook books and go to info sessions at our health clinic, I research methods and suggestions and put some into practice. I have an informed opinion on most parenting issues, that is part of my job.



If Charlotte needs me for absolutely anything, I am there in a blink. I breastfeed and I use cloth nappies, both of which I am infinitely proud as it took alot of pain and blood and dedication to achieve breastfeeding and I know I am contributing personally and environmentally with cloth.



I do get paid an allowance from the government to stay at home and raise Charlotte, and Richard puts money in my account every fortnight to help me out with day to day expences other than groceries and bills, which he pays without any complaints, so I would say I'm a Professional Mother, Yes, a Professional Mother, that'll do.



What do you think?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Becky - posted on 11/18/2009

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I like being called a full time mummy...I have my son 24/7 and love every minute. People ask me what do you do and i say im a full time mum...it actually says it on my sons birth certificate

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Nancy - posted on 12/16/2009

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I like that one...Domestic Engineer LOL. We do not only take care of our babies and feed them, but also we make sure our family has everything they need, we clean, we cook, we do grocery shopping and errands, house improvements, manage the budget, do accounting (pay bills), act like nurses (when they are sick), etc. Uff, that's why I am so exhausted!!!

Rebecca - posted on 12/15/2009

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Quoting Bethany:

I have seen that US Mums get a WIC? But I understand that's just for food and formula, right? I guess that's a bit of a help. There is another thread regarding this in the Feb 09 babies community.

also, I figure if we're Professional Mothers, with legs and arms, a fridge and a stove, of course we should be making their food. It's disgusting the amount of baby food available in stores. As if we would eat out of a can every day. The manufacturers are in on it with the nappy manufacturers, I'm sure.

I guess the good thing is we can spend the money how we wish, and not just on what the government think is best. (which would be a disaster here, considering most of the government is comprised of men who wouldn't have a flippin' clue about what Mums need most at any given time and would base their decisions on expert's bell-curve opinions.)


You only get WIC if your income is low enough to qualify.  My husband makes too much money for us to qualify, but believe me, we are not rolling in the dough.  We do get a break on our income taxes, but that's true for all parents.  I feel there should be a credit for full-time parents -- we are making important investments in our children which benefit all of society.  I also want the govt. to give me a check for the money that they would spend on artificial baby milk for my child, since I am breastfeeding.  They pay for inferior nutrition, why not for the biologically normal choice?  Now that would really encourage more women to nurse!!



I totally agree about the packaged baby food.  It's gross.  We've used it when we're out of the house on a day trip, but that's only been like 5 times.  And my son will only eat the sweet foods -- the green veggies are so bitter b/c they've been cooked 3 times.  Yuck!

Bethany - posted on 12/15/2009

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I have seen that US Mums get a WIC? But I understand that's just for food and formula, right? I guess that's a bit of a help. There is another thread regarding this in the Feb 09 babies community.

also, I figure if we're Professional Mothers, with legs and arms, a fridge and a stove, of course we should be making their food. It's disgusting the amount of baby food available in stores. As if we would eat out of a can every day. The manufacturers are in on it with the nappy manufacturers, I'm sure.

I guess the good thing is we can spend the money how we wish, and not just on what the government think is best. (which would be a disaster here, considering most of the government is comprised of men who wouldn't have a flippin' clue about what Mums need most at any given time and would base their decisions on expert's bell-curve opinions.)

Rebecca - posted on 12/14/2009

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I totally agree with your entire post...up to the point about getting paid by the govt., I only wish we had that in the USA! I like professional mother...but I normally call myself a full-time mom. I think that might be offensive to moms who work outside the home though, because they are usually required to be "on call" as mom even when they are at their paid job. But I don't like the term SAHM either, and I'm proud of the job I'm doing raising my son (we are BFing and CDing, too, and I make his baby food, and I make it a priority to research and inform myself as much as I can), so I want a new title.

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how about.. God's tool, or angel lol as i like to think of myself with 2 boys lol.. we are raising Gods children for him right?..He loves us even more for raising His children..i try to think of how God would want me to handle certain situations, or umm well huge annoyances with them lol after all.. 2 boys umm yeah

Dimetria - posted on 11/19/2009

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I love it...I too am a Professional Mother...Thank you for noticing our greatness, all thought it is too bad that it took another Professional Mother... May you be bless in all you do and may your daughter love and respect you always..♥

Robyn - posted on 11/19/2009

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This is the title I gave myself years ago because I was in the same place you are now. I call myself a "Domestic Engineer" . It has a good ring to it and everyone says WOW when you say it lol

Kristen - posted on 11/19/2009

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Well, I was a house hold manager for years and well you do pretty much the same. So You should call yourself a Family Manager, and I love the Professional Mother.

Cassi - posted on 11/19/2009

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I consider myself the Family Manager because I manage the kids, my husband, our finances, and the home. So basically I AM The Boss!

Diah - posted on 11/19/2009

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I like "Professional Mother" and I proud of that. Some people always underestimate SAHM. It's like we r so stupid and not capable to find a job. Being a mom is the hardest job ever, we must ready to work 24H/7D.

Rachael - posted on 11/18/2009

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Good on you all for standing up for Proffesional mother's its a 24hr job and we all deserve to be appreciated and valued!!! Stuff those who look down on SAHM's they must not understand the joy of being there for your children everyday. What works for you and makes your family happy is always the way the go. The time you have with your children is precious and people opinions are only that!!

Sharon - posted on 11/18/2009

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I go with Professional Mom. That has always worked for me and helped me keep my sanity--at least until my husband gets on my nerves and then I become 'The Warden"

Amber - posted on 11/18/2009

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I like Professional Mother. I use Domestic Goddess. I really do put that as my occupation on my tax return. I worked all my young adult life and have a BS degree. I worked until my son was 10months. I was missing EVERYTHING! I like that other countries pay a mom to stay home. Wish the US would put more importance on motherhood and family values. Motherhood Rocks!

Ashley - posted on 11/18/2009

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I do not under stand the title SAHM. I am the C.E.O. Of my house. and as my "duties" of being c.e.o. of my home,I take a lot of pride in what I do.

Chasity - posted on 11/18/2009

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I agree. Stay at home mom is not something we should be embarrassed about. Wear it proud!

Chasity - posted on 11/18/2009

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I understand what you mean, but I don't look at our "title" as a bad thing. I think SAHM is one of the most enviable positions any woman can posses. Many mothers who work outside the home (or even work from home) would love to be able to stay at home and be with their children full time. I consider myself incredibly blessed that I am fortunate enough to stay at home and be with my kids whenever they need me. I have 3 kids, all of whom are within 17 months apart of each other, and they know without a doubt that mommy will always be available to them for whatever it is they might need . Instead of looking at that as a negative, I look at that as a one of the ways I am building wonderful lasting memories that my kids will look back on and cherish. I don't get paid by the government or get an "allowance" to care for the children I chose to have. I feel the legacy I leave my children is something money can't buy. Being that my husband has the entire weight of supporting our family financially, the least I can do for him is make sure the house is clean, laundry's done, dinner's cooked, kids are bathed and feed, etc. That's the least I can do. He works his butt off to provide us with a beautiful home, both our cars are paid off and all our bills are paid. I also have health issues that prevent me from doing heavy, strenuous work or standing for long periods of time, but that doesn't prevent me from cooking or cleaning. I don't know. Forgive me if I sound harsh, but I do find it offensive when someone finds what I do not to be good enough. I wear the label, Stay At Home Mom proudly and if you are one of the few lucky woman who are also blessed to do so, so should you.

Ericka - posted on 11/17/2009

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My husband says the same thing. When someone asks what his wife does for a living.

He will not say SAHM. But will always say domestic engineer. Worked for me.

Aida - posted on 11/17/2009

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I think the term "Home Executive" fits very fine, we do manage everything (husband, children, pay bills, housekeeping, tutoring, grocery shopping, decision making, book keeping, and the neverending list goes on) lol.

Lisa - posted on 11/17/2009

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I am a SAHM mom but do waitress usually a couple nights a week to get out of the house since my husband travels. He is home this week and when I got home from work he was telling me how he had his mom come out so he could do something in the front hall. I laughed and asked him if the kids were being a handful and he looked at me with an exhausted bewildered look and said it's hard keeping up with kids and trying to get something done. And he said this like I didn't know this fact! I just smiled sweetly, patted his head and walked away.
I am a mom and that is my title. If people ask me what I do, I tell them I'm a mom and if they ask if I work, I just say yes.

Kimberly - posted on 11/17/2009

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i think professsional mother is an understatement!! i have been a working mother for 15 years and now with the economy i an a SAHM. i didnt think it was going to be this hard and my hat is off to you and all the SAHMs out there!!!

Polly - posted on 11/16/2009

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How about superwoman, or supermom instead of SAHM. Heck it is what we all are for handling everything for our husbands, kids, and home.

Charity - posted on 11/15/2009

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When I tell people I stay at home I get a look of disapproval..... my stepmother ask me everytime I see her if I have a job yet? HA I have jobs out the wazoo...I just dont understand why a woman would look down on another woman like that...also I will start homeschooling in January (kids 8,6,and 4) all on the autism spectrum...so I get to add teacher on the list of many jobs I do.... So I say to every domestic Goddes out there Just be you dont worry what others say....YOu know you are dong the best thing for your family.

Roberta - posted on 11/14/2009

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A very smart young man once told my husband I am not just a stay at home mom, I am a domestic goddess, and he'd better not forget it.
So remember you are a domestic goddess, you rule everything and that is most exhausting and you deserve the title and the praise!
;)
I hate the old stigmas too, home maker, stay at home mom, all the matronly titles that make us sound like the ladies in the '50's who acted so proud of their title, waiting to serve their husband and mind their children and have no other life... good grief!

Brandy - posted on 11/14/2009

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You could tell people you are a full-time mom. When I fill out government forms here in Canada, I don't know what yours say but we check the box that says Homemaker. That's kind of a good term I think.

Diana - posted on 11/14/2009

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People don't realize how hard it is to clean house and entertain/teach a child at the same time.

It takes a lot of devotion to your family.

I like to be called Domestic engineer/teacher.

Lisa - posted on 11/14/2009

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I used to feel self-conscious about being called a stay-at-home Mom. There are an awful lot of snarky women out there who act as though I'm either an idiot who isn't smart enough to get a job or my husband is some sort of Ogre who has locked me in a tower. Puhleeese!

I tried other things like "Home Engineer" but they just left me feeling like I sounded as though I felt like "Mom" wasn't good enough, or something to be embarrassed about.

Now when people ask me what I "do," I smile and tell them, "I am a Mom. It is the best job I have ever had!"

Kristi - posted on 11/14/2009

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Quoting Bethany:

We can choose to get a lump sum each year at tax time, or we can estimate our yearly income and get it fortnightly.

oh yeah, I forgot about that one. Home Maker. You visit some houses and their cold and a bit uninviting, They have families living in them, but they just don't feel nice to be in. It is not whether there is ironing lying around, or if there are lots of toys and posessions, or if it is spick and span. It is just a nice feeling, Like the home maker takes pride in what she does and feels valued by her kids and partner. That comes through in a home.

There are other things, like a "tidy room", and nice smells, and a safe tidy garden. Good storage so things don't look 'lost' .

What do you do to make your house a nice one to be in? I have this pot puri that smells like blueberry and cinnamon. And I am constantly battling to keep my dining table clear, it is right near the front door (bloke designed this house obviously). I do my ironing every Friday, as Richard weard casual clothes to work that day, so I can get all his business shirts put away for next week without cutting into my weekend with ironing.


  My husband is also allowed to wear casual clothes to work on firday, I never though about doing all the ironing that day instead of stressing over it the rest of the week/weekend..great advice.

Amanda - posted on 11/14/2009

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I usually just say that I am either a Domestic goddess or I tell people that I am a homemaker... I prefer the Domestic goddess.

Amber - posted on 11/12/2009

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Bethany, you are a rockstar! Have you ever thought about putting your expertise out there in the market to make money? I can help you with that if it sounds like something you might be interested in.

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