I want to be a stay at home mom but miss work horribly, am I crazy? Anyone else know the feeling?

Kristina - posted on 01/07/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

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I was laid off a few months before I had my son and it has now been almost one year since I have worked. My son is 4 months old and I couldn't imagine having anyone else raise him, but on the other had I really miss having a career, having money and just getting to be around co-workers. Being stuck at home in the winter isn't helping, lol! I feel guilty and selfish wanting a career but I also don't want to leave my son, it's such a double edge sword that my head spins. Anyone else know what I'm dealing with? Any words of wisdom?

13 Comments

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Vanessa - posted on 01/07/2010

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I totally get it. I had an exciting career then had my first son 5yrs ago and Ive been a SAHM ever since. I'm part of a moms club (moms club,intl) and its a great outlet. At one point, I signed up to be an independent demonstrator for a company, based on my hobby,and I was able to get some great adult interaction. Your not selfish,girl, you are human.

Kristina - posted on 01/07/2010

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Thanks everyone for all your post, it has really helped boost my mood on the whole situation and I got some great tips;) It's nice to know that I'm not the only one! I'm going to look into volunteering at the humane society on the weekends.

Tally - posted on 01/07/2010

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I stay home with my children because of so many reasons. I won't have it any other way. But the last couple of years I've been also doing something that's been very fulfilling for me. I help families, I contribute to our household budget, and I get to meet so many wonderful moms along the way.

Linda - posted on 01/07/2010

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I volunteer at the local primary school (my eldest child's school) 3 days a week and help community organisations 2 days a week. I make new friends and I love helping others!
With the local school, they have an area for your younger non school age children to play etc while you are helping.

Jody - posted on 01/07/2010

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Its hard Im a stay at home mom with my 14 month old now but have a 10 and a 14 year old and have worked for the past few years I love being home with her but I kinda just miss interacting with people! Trying joining mommy and me classes or get involved in other things that get you out and about with other people It has helped me alot! Hang in there no better job than being a mommy!!

Kimmy - posted on 01/07/2010

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YES YES YES! I'm now home with 2 kids (19 months and 4 months) and I would love to go back to work. I don't feel guilty for feeling this way from time to time because being home is ALOT harder than going to work. I'm now responsible for EVERYTHING- the cooking, cleaning, child care, shopping, late night crying, laundry, ect. but when you're working the home responsibilities are shared.

You might try a part time job (if you have family to help watch your son) or sign up for a baby class- it could be nice getting out of the house together even if its just once a week. And seriously never feel guilty- some of us have fun exciting lives before we had kids :)

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have any of you thought of, besides volunteering or play groups that you might want to find a business you could do from home to help get some adult interaction? I'm not trying to push anything here, but if you have a passion for something and are looking for more and want to contribute...I am sure their is an opportunity out there for you to do it. I would love to brainstorm with you.

Stefie - posted on 01/07/2010

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Quoting Kristina:

I agree that I am saving money not having to pay daycare cost, gas cost etc and I have been thinking about volunteering just not sure where? I have so many interest I'm not even sure where to begin? Ideas?


I hope you can find something. I tried to do meals on wheels when we lived in SC. Unfourntly, they would not let me bring my then infant to pick up the food.



It is hard to find an opprotunity where you can watch your child and help out.



I have been keeping sane by cooking and sewing what I can for people I know of that have issues. For instance ,I have a friend who is bed ridden and pregnant. I make her meals sometimes and am working on sewing her some cloth diapers. I, also, bake often and bring goodies to negibhoors.



If you figure out a volunteer opprotunity that is child friendly, let me know.

Gianna - posted on 01/07/2010

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Yes i know exactly what you feel! i lov to work always thought i would need a stay at home dad but then i married my High school sweetheart who joined the military and i was forced to join the stay at home mom club. I miss working horribly and i would NEVER put my child in daycare or a strangers watch and sadly i have no family around due to military location. BUT heres a good way to look at it....... your child only has one childhood and they are only a baby/kid/teen once, but you can have a job or career at any point. so enjoy our child while they are still young and while you still can because it only happens once and you dont want to miss out on it because of a career, it will be the biggest regret you make!

Bethany - posted on 01/07/2010

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I hear you completely! I was an elementary teacher when we had our first son and then moved because of my husband's job. I wasn't able to get on to the local school there and have been a SAHM for the last 4 years. We now have 3 beautiful boys. I love being able to stay at home with them, and I do miss teaching. I volunteer in my oldest's classroom two days a week and I also lead a women's Bible study on Monday mornings. Right now this is a good balance of adult/kid time for me.

Kristina - posted on 01/07/2010

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I agree that I am saving money not having to pay daycare cost, gas cost etc and I have been thinking about volunteering just not sure where? I have so many interest I'm not even sure where to begin? Ideas?

Stefie - posted on 01/07/2010

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I know how you feel. I did a detail analysis of cost benefit of working. Turns out it would cost us, and by the way I am an accountant.
For now, I deal with knowing every dollar I save is like a $1.30 earned, because you don't pay taxes on saving money.
I keep sane by doing play groups and YMCA stuff.

Michelle - posted on 01/07/2010

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I know how you feel. I worked while pregnant with my second son and all I did was think about my oldest son who was with grandma and then when I stopped working I missed all the adult conversation. I started doing volunteer work where I could be around adults but still take the kids and that help alot. Also I signed up for mommys day out at the chuch and other fun things to just get out of the house and with other grown ups occasionally

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