If i clean the house ..you can at least throw out the freakin trash!!!!!!!!!!!!

Glo - posted on 06/04/2010 ( 33 moms have responded )

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OK LADIES...i understant the whole concept of a house mom.. but i believe that when the man comes from work to at least throw out the trash..just because you are the provider of the family i feel it doesnt exuse you from being a good husband or father...or em i being silly about this?

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Mary - posted on 06/07/2010

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hahahaha
my husband usually does nothing not a thing.. he comes home from work and sits on the couch and watches tv.. If i ask him to do anything.. one of two things will happen...
1. HE says i will and never does
2. we get upset and argue and then he proceeds to do what i asked..
I go to school and take 2 classes every six weeks and they demand a lot of time plus we have a two year whom i am trying to potty train.. I just don't even feel like bothering.. whats the point. I can't be supermom and he doesn't realize that if he actually helps me out with the baby and the chores then he actually gets some you know what but when i have to be upset in order for him to get the point i don't feel like having s e x or when he says he'll do it but doesn't. I am so tired of it i am on the verge of leaving. I would make a great single mom. .

Sheryl - posted on 06/04/2010

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no that one of my husbend jobs around the house. things like grass, trash. that type of stuff. it is a man job along with work out side of the house. at least that they way i was raised.

33 Comments

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Alexandria - posted on 07/16/2014

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No, you're not being silly at all. I agree with you 100%. My man is the same way. keeping the house up, being a mom 24/7 and dealing with the stress that comes along with it is tough, also making sure dinner is ready so once your man is home he will have a hot meal.....that's work also. My man always give me a little attitude, but I pay him no mind. I understand he work, but I'm home working on my feet with the kids and our home, the least you can do is take the trash out. Their jobs doesn't excuse them at all from helping out at home just a little.

Claudia - posted on 07/16/2014

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Maybe changing up the way you ask will help? Something like "Hey Sexy Gorgeous man of mine, you'd be my ultimate hero for the rest of the day if you'd take the trash out for me." I think we forget in our daily busy lives that we married that guy for a reason and it wasn't because we were looking forward to having someone to nag and be mad at. If that doesn't work, maybe the trash can in front of the xbox will remind them we need a little help ;)

Tamara - posted on 07/13/2014

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I work just like my husband and I do all the cleaning in the house by my self and he does not do crab in the house, I have to remind him since I married him to throw out the garbage like a teenager every day, my daughter who is a teenager has more common sense throwing out the garbage. He comes home before me an hour and half waiting for me too cook, clean and throw out the garbage meanwhile he is sitting pretty on the bed in the computer. When I ask him to throw out the garbage he argues, he cuts his eyes at me, he calls me all kinds of name, I am done potty training him, this is been going on for years. I learned one thing that I get my peace of mind doing things on my own and I lost respect for man who does not give me even space too clean the house. I don't know you ladies but I have 2 kids, work full time, plus clean the house, my house looks spectacular thanks to me.

Crissy - posted on 06/07/2010

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I feel the same away. Yes I know my husband works all day, and as an electrician he's sometimes in the heat or cold depending on the weather for a big chunk of the day. However, that does not mean that what we do as housewives/moms is any less of a job. We spend the day taking care of the house, the children, any errands that need to be ran. We are lucky if we get 15 minutes to oursleves as opposed to the lunch breaks our husbands get. We do not get to clock out at 5 pm or 6 pm or whatever time other husbands clock out. In fact, in my house anyways, that's when it's time to start cooking dinner. When dinner is over we have to make sure the dishes are done. We have to get our children ready for bed and read them bedtime stories and tuck them in. I'm not saying we work harder than our husbands I'm saying we work just as hard with less breaks. So yes the least our husbands can do is take out the trash.

Outi - posted on 06/07/2010

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lol.. In my house it depends. Usually my husband takes it out but if it gets really full or it smells during the day, I'm not going to wait around until 7 pm for him to come home. But yeah, mostly he takes it out

Laura - posted on 06/07/2010

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I enjoy taking care of the house, but I still expect help from my husband and he knows it :) Obviously being home all day, I can get cleaning done by the end of the week, but he does his part too, like garbage, the lawn, diapers, and other baby stuff :) He also does all the renovations and fixing things around the house.

Jess - posted on 06/07/2010

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If the trash doesn't get taken out my partners clothes don't get washed.... its that simple ! I have dragged the bag out onto the balcony before just shut the door and left it. He PROMISED to empty the over flowing bin before he went interstate... he didn't and I wasn't doing it for him !

So when he got home and then left it for another week I casually mentioned that it was probably infested with maggots... the look on his face was priceless. I didn't help and he had to deal with all these maggot infested bags. I even made him pick up the maggots that fell out of the bags! Taught him a good lesson. Now he checks the balcony regularly for bags of rubbish.... just in case !

Jawaka - posted on 06/07/2010

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LOL @stomping the trash!!!! Although I am a SAHM, there are some chores that I leave to my husband. Now if the trash can gets full well before he would get home then I take it out. If it is close to the time the kids and him get home then I leave it for them. I also leave the lightbulb changing to him if they are in the ceiling fixtures(we have 12 ft tall ceilings and I don't do heights) and I refuse to clean the toilet(my wastes are always inside and he is the one with aiming issues...lol). But that's not to say that I won't do some of these things if need be. Pick your battles, if you have to take out the trash occassionally so be it.

[deleted account]

My deceased husband used to have this same problem. His hand didn't fit a trash bag either! I had to 'smoosh' it down some once, so I put on my old gardening shoes and then stepped IN the can. I smooshed it down real good. Didn't really think about it again, didn't need to. Problem was solved. A few days later, maybe a week, I had still been standing in the trash smooshing it so I'll have more room, when Glenn came in and saw me standing in the can almost jumping up and down on the trash. His eyes got wide, and he came running at me with his hands out, "PLEASE DONT STAND IN THAT!" "I GOT IT... RIGHT NOW... I GOT IT."
He took the trash out. Next time the can got full, I slid on my gardening shoes and took two steps across the kitchen and he jumped up screaming, "I GOT IT I GOT IT!".
Problem solved.
There was no need for a fight, I just stand in it till He can't lift the bag. We never fought about it... we barely ever even mentioned it.
LOL God rest his soul, I miss that man sometimes :)

Michelle - posted on 06/05/2010

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my husband is in the army and works everyday all day but when he comes home he still changes diapers and even does dishes on the weekends so there is no excuse

ANGELY - posted on 06/05/2010

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personally, it's not a woman's job & it's not a man's job,,, IT'S JUST A CHORE THAT NEED'S TO BE DONE !!! ; ))))

ANGELY - posted on 06/05/2010

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i think it is really NOT a big problem, i figure if i'm at home and the garbage is full, i think nothing of it and just throw it out, , we take turns cleaning the house, when he can , he does, and if he's not too tired,, or else i split chores with the kid's anyway,, because they have to be taught to be responsible also,, shit as soon as they come out the womb,, put them to work,, Lol

Debra - posted on 06/05/2010

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Mm, I take out the garbage 90% of the time, run around with errands for the rest of the family, clean the house, do the washing (not folding or putting away for 3) and cooking for 7 people (dinners mainly - one vegan), feed 2 dogs and 2 cats, sometimes mow the lawns, clean up the garden and high pressure clean the paving, (about every 3 months) wash the windows (about every 2 years!) pay the bills, do the grocery shopping, have a one day a week /fortnight little business, monitor and help with homework (more or less), pack school lunches and take the two younger kids to school morning and afternoon, take them to sports training and games and speech pathology, make my hubbie cappuccinos before and after work, and go to his coached rugby games on weekends, do all the financials for my mother-in-law who is in a nursing home, help my elderly father-in-law with some of his business, wash my car (not often enough!) - my place is always in a mess, and I'm always 'gonna get to that' (I do, but not when I state I will!) and quite honestly - my floors get dirty, my furniture dusty, and my beds only get made up when the sheets get washed. I refuse point blank to do ironing other than school and my own and the taxes! 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year - even holidays are busy. Do my family whinge at the state of the house - they dare not!
Although the hubbie whinges that he doesn't get enough attention - not enough (actually the word 'anymore'!) back and foot massages and back tickles and spontaneity or enough 'you know what!
Hello - Superwoman I did not sign up for! And no, I do not need a medal, (yet another thing to clean!) but a new chest would be nice - preferably higher than the one I have now!

Elisabeth - posted on 06/05/2010

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Oh don't get me wrong my man makes me feel all women. Lol. I do everything for my man including looking sexy and making sure he feels I satisfy him everynight, in fact I'm in agreement with you in most things, make sure you have the house clean, look sexy, keep him satified, be his best friend, have fun with him watching sports etc. Do everything his heart desires, good to hear your making an effort to keep your husband happy unlike some that all they do is complain. I just disagree with you (your friend) about the rubbish - it's not a big deal for me I just do it, no thoughts, no nagging, no arguments. I put all my rubbish in a bag and put it in the outside bin so it's all clean and tidy, I tell you what changing nappies is a lot more dirty then taking out the trash but I don't ask my husband to do that for me because it's 'unlady like' and when I'm finished I put the nappy in a nappy bag and guess what - I take it out and throw it in the bin! I don't leave it inside all day until my husband gets home so he can do it for me, I do it all by myself with no help or anything. I know that sounded sarcastic but I don't mean it that way, just having fun. 8-)

Amy - posted on 06/05/2010

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in my house the man does take out the trash and take care of the yard but he works 12 hours and its from 6pm to 6am so i wont nag him when he gets home bc he is tried and wants to go to bed so when he wakes up around 1 ill ask him to do something and then if he doesn't do it ill remind him an hour later but he does get it done he works m-f and some times sat so i don't give him to much to do but for the most part but he trys to help

Glo - posted on 06/04/2010

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well i commend you on your awsome house work...i do not nag...nagging gets you nowhere i communicate..i posted this on behalf of a friend...i had this issue awhile ago...i hate to see it tho..a man imo should always throw away the trash its something they should do to make there women feel a bit more like a lady ..my husband works 12 hour days too..but i work 24/7 as a sahm..he still takes the trash out before he goes to work..i cook,i clean,i do loundry,i iron,i teach my son everyday,and i please my husband everynight,i handle the bills,i have his cloths always layed out for him for work and i always look my best when he comes home i watch sports with him i play video games with him ..im his bestfriend i do whatever his little heart disires...and i do this all with nails on lol he better take out the trash!!!.lol.its something i feel that shouldnt even be told to a man...its like pulling out her chair or opening the door for her...its just something i feel a man is suppose to do that imo♥

Jane - posted on 06/04/2010

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i agree. in our house the lines are clearly defined, i take care of the kids and the inside of the house and he does the man stuff - that includes taking out the trash - he takes care of the outside of the house. my parents did the same thing. my mother has never taken out trash in 56 years.

Elisabeth - posted on 06/04/2010

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Personally I think it's a womens job to do all the house work (with the exception of some handyman work, I don't think taking out the rubbish is a mans job, what's so hard about it, it's not heavy or anything haha)...I don't ask my husband to do anything when he gets home but I don't like to nag, that way my husband will look forward to coming home to me. BUT my husband works min. 12 hours a day in a very exhuasting job and I think it's more important that when he gets home he should get to spend time with his kids rather then do house work as they don't get to spend much time together. When they go to sleep I like to let him sit and relax, I feel guilty if he does anything. He works hard to provide everything our family needs so the least I can do is take the trash out myself and not nag him to do it and keep the house clean for him and so on.

Terri - posted on 06/04/2010

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I know exactly what you mean! My boyfriend tried to act like going to work was all he had to do for the family for a long time. I finally got so sick of that attitude that I told him he can start helping out at home more, or I can be a single mom and move out. I think guys just need to be talked to about how it makes us feel that they are not pulling their weight around the house. If we are suppose to do "woman" things like stay home and clean and cook, then they need to do "man" things like take out the garbage. Sometimes you just gotta tell them what you expect of them, and then try to compromise. It took me a year to figure it out after my son was born. It's hard to find a balance. You'll get it down, just talk to him about how you feel :)

Nicole - posted on 06/04/2010

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I'm tempted to time all of the housekeeping and childcare chores, on something like a timecard, so I can give it to my husband to make my point. At times. Other times he's pretty good about minor household chores.

Glo - posted on 06/04/2010

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haha riiight...they dont want to take it out...but as soon as you do it in front of them..they feel all bad...thats so true lol

Glo - posted on 06/04/2010

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lol goodness women im not going to file divorce over this lol..its just something i know alot of women can relate to..its not a huge deal.. its something thats not very hard to change but happens enough for me to reconize and talk about..lol...thanks for lookin out mama...xo

Philomena - posted on 06/04/2010

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no thats all i ask too he used to but now it seems to have became an issue since we moved to second floor.i agree with you on this one,hey have you ever tried to take it out yourself and he is like what you doing that for,ummmm is that a trick question.lol

[deleted account]

In the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter who takes out the trash. Of course talk to him about it if it bothers you. But don't let it cause a rift in your marriage is all I'm saying.

Glo - posted on 06/04/2010

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There are bigger issues for who?...this is something I feel and an issue IM going through..i like to take care of "small issues"..as well as my "bigger issues"...of course i am capable of throwing out the trash..im also capable of being a single mother...but since im not and nor do i want to be there needsto be teamwork me and my husband are partners...this is about team work ..this is not a one man band...thanks for the feed back ladies

[deleted account]

Is it just the trash or was that just an example?

I agree that husbands should help because our children are so important and NEED fathers (not a stab at single moms. I admire you. But it's been proven that fathers play a significant role in a child's life which is why I say it's a need). If he was refusing to help with the kids, that would be one thing. But I'm sure you are capable of taking out the trash.

Don't make it a huge issue. There are bigger issues.

Jamie - posted on 06/04/2010

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i totally agree with you! whats crazy is my fiance does the same thing! i clean all day and he feels like he does not have to do A THING when he gets home like (taking out the trash)...lol i thought i was the only one

Kristin - posted on 06/04/2010

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I agree with you and I do not think you are being silly. I understand that my husband brings home the paycheck, but I provide for the home in a non-monetary way. Ironically, if I went back to work, I would bring home more.

Anyway, I ask for help when I want or need it. My husband has to help around the house too. My job as a SAHM is to care for the kids because it is this or pay for child care. ALL the other stuff is for us both to attend to; kids too when they are old enough. We both come from two income households though. So he's seen a division of house hold chores. And I do abandon him with our kids pretty regularly, so he gets it. The only expectation we now have in our marriage is that we communicate concerns before they turn into problems.

Calmly talking really helps.

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