Im a stay at home mom of a 14month old and my son seems scared of other people or very shy. I am not social since i had him due to having so much to do with my son its hard to get out and socialize. Is this going to affect my son forever? Will he be able to make friends??

Christina - posted on 11/30/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Im not sure what to do, my son is 14months old and people say its cause hes too attached to me (which i think is good) but i think its because i am not social enough so he does not get out of the house as often as i would like him to and socialize with other people and kids his age. I dont know anybody with kids let alone with kids his age. All my friends and family are either too busy with work or too far away so he doesnt see too many other people other then me, his daddy, my mom, and her boyfriend... What can i do to change this?? Are there any options for finding safe playdates around here in MA?? Please help im worried about my sons social skills and if he will learn how to share!

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My daughter was the same way. Even now at 2, and going to both a reading time and swimming lessons, she's shy in public. She wont speak to people, you can maybe get her to wave, maybe. I just can't shut her up at home though, lol.

She sees her cousins (who are about the same age), about twice a year. One she sees a bit more in the summer, although this past year it was only three times.

It's just his personality, there's nothing wrong with it. As for sharing you can teach him that with just you as well. That doesn't mean you shouldn't go out and find things for the two of you to do, but don't feel bad for not. There isn't much that 14 month olds do in a play group. A lot of the playing together social developement happens well after 2.

[deleted account]

Stranger anxiety is normal in babies this age. If you want to help him deal with it, it's best for people not to approach your son and try to hug/touch him, but rather let your son make the first move after seeing you interact with them for a few minutes.



My son is almost 15mo, and sometimes he will burst into tears if people suddenly approach him. When we're out running errands or something, people are always trying to coo over him -- but imagine if people did that to you! You probably wouldn't like it much either.



There's no telling whether your son will be reserved when he's older, since stranger anxiety is so common with young children, but it's just one kind of personality. It's not a flaw that needs correcting. Shy people can have excellent social skills, and plenty of non-shy people don't.

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Christina - posted on 12/01/2011

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I kinda figured she was wrong, i told her that. I said i thought it was ok, are we not all taught to be cautious and not go to strangers? So its kind of like that i suppose lol. Not a bad thing. Thank you Liz i really appreciate ur quick replies, it was starting to concern me the more i thought about my son and if it was me doing something wrong but now i know... Sucks when ur a new mom so everybody tries telling u what to do and everything.. especially family lol. Thats why i joined here, to get opinions from other moms! And im glad i did :)

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Your aunt is wrong! Your son has a healthy attachment to his mother and a healthy fear of people he doesn't know well. This is normal!

Christina - posted on 11/30/2011

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Thank you both Brittany and Liz! I just wasn't sure if this was how most babies are at this age or if it was just my son. He's definetely not shy at home either he's very loud playful and funny! Lol but in public it seems like he's quiet... only when people try talking to him. My aunt told me it is cause he's too attached to me because i had to go to the restroom and he wouldnt sit with her (he hadn't seen her in about 5months) he took a fit of crying and came banging on the restroom door. I felt awful he used to be okay with her but it seems like he forgot who she was. She blames me for this though which makes me feel like a bad mom but i told her he isnt like this when he's around my mom or her boyfriend. He goes with them no problem and doesn't cry or anything! Sometimes i feel like he wouldnt even notice me if i did leave lol. Hopefully he gets over all this though. And yes thank you Brittany i kind of had an idea about the sharing skills and social development but at some point i would definetely like to find another mom who has a child my sons age to go on play dates with once in awhile... itd be nice for me to be able to socialize again too! haha.
Thank you both so much, very helpful! :)

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