IM EXHAUSTED TO IT DOES GET BETTER

Kristie - posted on 05/09/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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How do I start with the challenge it takes from going to newly weds without any worry but the two of you to a mortgage and three children in 3 years. Holy cow would be my g rated version so the kids don't hear. It's so overwhelming and sometimes I think with all the unrealistic versions of perfect, crafty, can wake up in the morning cook everyone breakfast with her hair and makeup done with impeccable style mom that's all over social media etc... All I can say is that is definitely not me! This is not a self help article this is just to show you its gonna suck sometimes but it's also gonna be so worth the beautiful one on one moments you get to be there with your kids. You are not expected to be perfect and those moms that are portrayed as being perfect don't exist. Writing this is for me to remind myself I don't have to be that way either. We all torture ourselves as moms with expectations that are way too high for us to reach and then feel guilty afterwards. It's ok to sometimes not get the kids all there vegetable or to not bathe them everyday or to leave the dishes piled up. Hey I do that every other day and I don't just mean the dishes. If I knew what I know now before I had the twins I would have made a whole lot better choices, but hopefully maybe I can help you with that.
The twin's pregnancy and birth is were everything changed from hard to the hardest thing I have ever done and am still doing. Michael my oldest was only 19 months old when the twins were born so I was so worried about him and being prepared with all the baby things we need that I didn't really ever really sit down and put a pen to paper and research the additional cost of not just one but two additional mouths to feed. Once Christian and Isabel were born I really didn't have time to figure it out. Survival mode kicked in. The challenges of breastfeeding and no sleep and healing from the surgery kicked my ass. The emotional stress of my son having such a hard time with the addition of not only one but two siblings at once was heartbreaking and started his terrible 2's early. Then after 4 months I went back to work and tried to do it all literally and felt even guiltier and even more exhausted. My husband has always helped but when you are breast feeding you are always sleep deprived. On top of the fact that my twins didn't start sleeping throughout the night till a year and my oldest went through a sleep terrors period at the same time I also found that no matter how understanding your work is they always give you a hard time eventually Whether your not being as efficient or your late work arrival Is becoming a problem no one really knows what is like to have 3 under the age of 2 until they do it and to tell you the truth I not only felt guilty for not being home with my kids I felt guilty for not being able to do the best at my job. Looking back I know now that I was in a foggy haze and as the children hit milestones the fog lifted a little by little, but it has taken 2 years to finally see clear skies. Now this is not to say it hasn't been wonderful too ,it has ,but it's a kick in the teeth for moms and we constantly have to pick ourselves up and keep going with a mostly a smile on our face. Moms take care of everyone and the only one who takes care of us really is our mom. I finally had to quit my job to stay at home with the kids because we just couldn't do it all anymore. My husband and I found that while trying to do that we were short changing everyone including our kids and ourselves. I thought being at home would be easier but what I have found is it's just as hard and sometimes harder in some many other ways. Yes you don't have to punch in but there is no such thing as sleeping in. I literally sweep 4 times a day and clean and do laundry constantly and if you walked in my house today you would say what happened here. On top of that I don't think the last adult conversation I had was for a few minutes a week ago. On top of all this you have all the additional stressors of the finances and the struggle of trying to do it all with 1 less income, more bills, more debt, and you fall in the middle were government assistance isn't available for you to get you back on your feet. I didn't have any credit card debt before the twins arrived and now they are 2 and we are maxed out on it all. I would have never thought this is were we would be just 2 short years later. Going from perfect credit to can't get any. It's truly humbling. After all this there might be financial preparations that I would have made to prepare for the additional financial stress of three small mouths to feed but I definitely would never change the wonderful moments that came from having my three beautiful kids. It will get better. You will see. Try to take some time off for yourself because if you don't replenish your "love tank" you won't have it to dole out to everyone else.
Happy Mother's Day.

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Mrssmith43 - posted on 05/16/2015

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I am a mom of 4 , it is hard to stay happy and collected when your running around crazy ... i get up at 5 am i go to bed around 1 .. but i have found some all natural stuff that helps me be better ...

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