im going insane! i need some advice

Tarsha - posted on 11/09/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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i have 4 boys 6, 5, 3 and 4 months..im having trouble with my 3 oldest, they have been so naughty the last 6 months, getting into fridge and eating everything and anything (we do feed them!!) they wee on their bedroom floor...they dont listen to anything mum and dad say they get into cupboards and eat food...they break things and always fight...this wasnt normal 4 us 6months ago..we have tried everything from smacking, to leaving them in their rooms, taking stuff away from them (sony, gameboy)..i dont know what 2 do with them anymore..could anyone give me advice or has anyone been through this? im desperate

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I have 3 boys,7,5 and 11 months. There is a video or even an audio cd you can get called "123 Magic" and "More 123 Magic" . You can buy them or get them at your local library if they don't have it they can order it from another library. It will change your life and your home forever. It is wonderful. There will be no sibling rivalry,your children will listen the first time when you ask them to do something. No arguements,no fighting or yelling,its amazing!! In addition to 123 magic it is important to give each kid quality time,1 on 1 and I know that it is hard when you have have so many that need your attention because I live it,but try and set aside a certain time every night or day for each child. If you set aside a certain time its easier to stick with it,otherwise things get to busy but if we know that time is drawing near we can make time for it.

Jessica - posted on 11/09/2009

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Wow you have your hand full!! I find that my eldest son can be really naughty and annoying when he is just bored... I find that if I keep him really busy either doing special big boy jobs for me, or setting up games and craft or visiting with friends he is much better behaved. Good Luck

Cicely - posted on 11/09/2009

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Something that helped me after our little one came along was to make "special time" with my oldest. We'd go on a "date" just the two of us. It gave us time to talk and catch up on things that have happened during the week. I also found it really helped when it came to him feeling important and heard! My son love to talk and when it's just us, all my attention is on him and therefore he feels like I'm listening. A date could last a couple of hours or 30 min. But a little effort goes a long way. It worked for me!

Caryn - posted on 11/09/2009

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I agree with Lori. Since it started right before your youngest was born its probably a jealousy issue. Make sure you are giving each child an equal amount of one-on-one time EVERY day and include them in everything you possibly can. They can all have rolls with things like a diaper change, for example: one can get a clean diaper, one the wipes, one can throw away the dirty diaper, one put away the wipes, ect...change each ones "job" each time so they get to help mommy out with different things. Include them in things unrelated to the baby as well, like helping cook dinner, fold laundry, sweep the floors, ect.

Anytime you do something like that or sit in a room without the others and work one-on-one on a project it gives tehm the attention they are obviously craving.

Also I'm a huge fan of rewarding good behavior versus punishing bad. Try a sticker chart for each of them, every day they ahve a good day they get to place a sticker on their chart, after so many good days they get some sort of treat (can be anything from a piece of candy to their choice on a game to play or a special outing).

Good luck :)

Lori - posted on 11/09/2009

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When I had my son 9 months ago, my 2 year old step-daughter started getting jealous and acting out. It may be they feel "neglected" because of the baby. Now that my son is able to interact with all 3 of my step-daughters we don't have problems. The 2 year old still gets jealous when my mother-in-law plays with my son. ( She is very, very close to her grandmother.) You might see if your sons want to help you with the baby. Maybe they can bring you a clean diaper, give your son his pacifier (if you are using one). Try to include them any little way. And I would suggest about them getting into the fridge and cupboards, put child-proof locks on them! My mother-in-law has 4 (grown) boys and from her stories, the fighting and breaking things is mostly normal.

Just try to include them in any little thing....with the baby, dinner, picking up after themselves...I hope it works for you!

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