Is anyone out there to help me with my teen son!!

Cassiej19 - posted on 01/29/2018 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I have a teenage boy he's going to be 16 next month. Is he too old to play with toys? He does not act his age he acts like he is 8 years old or 10 ,is that normal? What should I do about this? Should I take his toys away and tell him to grow up. I do not know what to buy for his birthday that is next month. He leaves game CDs out of the case on the floor and he says no a lot only to me the mother not to his dad not to his grandma. As a mom what should I do about him say no. I need help someone can help me with this problem.

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Lisa - posted on 03/05/2018

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I agree. It appears there may be an underlying diagnosis that hasn't been addressed.

Lisa - posted on 03/05/2018

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I personally wouldn't force him to "grow up". Is there an underlying reason that he likes toys, still? My 17 year old is neurotypical and he still plays with Legos with his siblings. I would much prefer they use their imagination rather than stay stuck in electronics. With that being said, instead of giving him yes or no questions, give him options. "Would you rather clean your room first or sweep the kitchen?" It makes them feel more in control during a time when they are trying to be independent. Be sure you are not enabling him by doing things for him instead of teaching him to do them for himself. I have 8 children. 4 with different diagnosis. One had dyslexia, one has ADHD, one has ADHD/Tourettes/Autism and another has a lower functioning Autism (he's 15 with the functioning level of a 6-8 yr old).

Leslie - posted on 02/11/2018

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That’s hard stuff!! It’s so hard on a mother’s heart to see her child struggle. :’( My son was also diagnosed with ADHD and in turn participate in many IEP meetings. I was able to get him a lot of help through those meetings. I hope that will be the same for you. ♥ One thing that really helped my son was being taken out of the classroom when tests were being taken. That alleviated the pressure he felt when others were finishing the test before him. One thing that really helped me was a book by Stormie Omartian called, “The Power of the Praying Parent”. It gave me peace. I highly encourage you to read it. My son is grown now and he has turned into a wonderful, big-hearted young man. :) He has a good job and a lovely, sweet wife. Don’t lose hope!! You are not alone. I will be praying for you and your family.

Cassiej19 - posted on 01/31/2018

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Ok, I'll let him keep his toys. I will ask him what sport he wants to play. And I will try to not clean his room make his bed I'll have him do it and I'll try not to help him tie his shoes I make him do it starting today promise. His birthday is coming up soon and I will ask him today what does he want for his birthday theme to be. Thanks for the advice it's been very helpful and I will try to let go some other stuff too. Promise starting today. Update later on how things are going so far.

Michelle - posted on 01/30/2018

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Why not let him play what he wants?
It doesn't matter that he's a slow runner.
Everything you are doing contradicts what you are wanting.
You say he has no friends but don't let him go out. Dad says he should play a sport but you don't want him to play the sport he wants.
It's like you don't really want him to grow up.

Cassiej19 - posted on 01/30/2018

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Thank you for getting back to me, My son is in different classes. He is housesmart but not booksmart . He's ADHD and IEP is separate. He wants to go into the normal classes I tried one of those classes last year and you did not do good. He is making really good grades without ADHD medicine. He only have 3 friends. We do not let him leave the house and hang out with anyone because too dangerous anything could happen, he looks down when he crosses the street they been trying to teach you not to be doing that but he doesn't listen, who been trying to tell him to look around his surroundings but he doesn't listen. My son is a good kid. But he is happy one day but a different day he's not happy, his dad's been trying to get him to play soccer he played twice when he was younger but he is not older and he doesn't want to play any sports his dad said he doesn't care he still needs to pay something so if you can get a scholarship but high-stepping and tell his dad he doesn't have to play. He wants to play baseball but I said no because is a fast-paced game and he runs slow and he moves slow, yes I know he is a left handed and he doesn't know how to play or throat.

Jane - posted on 01/30/2018

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As a former school psychologist, I have so many questions. What is his diagnosis? Does he have an IEP due to ADHD and does he receive his high school subjects in one class with one teacher or does he go to a variety of classes with different teachers. Have you spoken to his case carrier/special education teacher at school about what you are noticing in his behavior at home? What are their perceptions at school regarding his maturation? He may feel comfortable with his familiar toys so I wouldn't take those away at this time. Any sports equipment or engagement would be helpful to him in gaining confidence and work off some of his energy. Do he and his father enjoy time
together? Would love to hear back from you.

Cassiej19 - posted on 01/30/2018

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Thank you for getting back with me. My son is a good kid he gets good grades and he is in the IEP. Ever since he turned 14 years old he has changed he's still a good kid but sometimes he gets angry and don't know why then sometimes he's just happy I know he has an ADHD and no medicine it was causing them having bad headaches in Anger more so I took him off. You want to play video games all the time but his dad won't let him play during school time so if grade could stay up. When people ask how old your son is Isis 16 going on 2. He won't talk to girls I think that's a good thing I'm not sure. I just don't know what age should I take his toys away and to make him grow up. You will still say no when I ask him do dishes but he won't say that to his dad. Should I buy him for his 16th birthday is coming up soon a boxing bag and gloves to get rid of his anger he won't talk about it he just says nothing's wrong. I have no clue what to buy for his birthday and Christmas coming as soon as him being 16 it is my first time.

Michelle - posted on 01/29/2018

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Is there a reason he isn't acting his age?
It's not normal for a 16yo to be acting like an 8yo, that's a big gap in emotional development. I would be seeing a specialist to find out why.
Taking his toys away won't all of a sudden make him grow up, it will just upset and anger him.

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