Is it lingering PPD or something more serious?

Denise - posted on 01/23/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I am a married mom of 2 kids.For some reason I have been feeling really crappy lately.My 2nd child is only 4 months old so I wonder if it could still be post partum depression.I started feeling down after having my 1st child but kinda got over it.Now ,since having my son.,I am very discontent.I have mood swings,hardly any appetite,and very low self esteem.I feel so bad about myself that I even considered cosmetic surgery to get back to my body before becoming a mom.Lately I have been determined to be closer to my husband for support but he tells me I overreact to everything.I actually noticed that the only time I am happy is when I'm pregnant.I am the opposite of the avg woman during pregnancy.I actually liked the extra weight because it made me more curvy.The changes in my mood were just a price to pay for bringing a child into the world . I felt like I actually had a purpose in life.To me being a mom is not the smartest thing I've done because now we are financially struggling but it is still the best thing I have ever accomplished.We decided not to have any more kids for this reason but I feel so bad that I even asked my husband what he thought about the idea of me becoming a surrogate mother.I dont know why but I feel like being a mom is the only thing I can do right.Does anyone else ever feel this way?Am I suffering from depression or is it somethig else deeper?

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Kay - posted on 01/23/2012

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Whoa...slow down a minute. Having a baby makes you a Mom but raising a child and loving him(her) gives you a life long purpose. You have just begun! Yes, you can definitely be suffering from post partum depression with a 4 mo.old. In fact, this is the time when it frequently hits. Your loss of appetite, low self esteem ,unhappiness and loss of purpose are on the list of symptoms. Please make an apt with your doctor to discuss this. Depression is a chemical imbalance caused in many cases by hormone imbalance. There are treatments for this. When the depression lifts, you are able to handle things and see the joy and fulfillment that is there everyday as a Mom. best wishes

Pam - posted on 01/24/2012

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I just wanted to say one thing here. Kay, you give very good advice and I can tell your heart is in the right place. But please, don't say that in six months you'll be over it. I know you're trying to be encouraging, but I've seen too many people who start to get discouraged and think something is wrong with them because they aren't getting better as soon as they think they should, and they get worse instead of better. Getting help and doing the best you can to be better is all you can do. Some people get better quickly, some slowly, and some need long-term treatment. Just know you're not alone Denise. You ask if its "just depression or something deeper." I think depression is more than serious enough to justify getting help, if that's what you're thinking. Get help just like you would for any other serious health problem, and consider asking your doctor if there's a behavioral health specialist they can refer you to. They can sometimes help more than your regular doctor, like a cardiologist would if you had heart trouble. Don't think you have to be crazy or something to see a specialist.

Kay - posted on 01/24/2012

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Yes, Denise....you are on the right track. Too often because we love our children and we want to be good Moms, we put ourselves last. This is never a good idea under the best of circumstances but if depression is in the picture,it can be serious because depression is an illness and without treatment it can worsen. The better you take care of yourself, physically and emotionally,the better you are at accomplishing the goals and dreams you have for your family. Focusing on your health right now will help you sort things out. Just being a Mom with small children is very stressful as everyone that posts here will agree! But true depression is an treatable illness (no one knows exactly what triggers it) with physical symptoms. If you have it, you need to treat it like a broken leg, with medical help and family support. Within 6 mo. You will be over it. Also, if a doctor is not responsive to your concern, try to network and find another one that is (often a woman doctor). You are on the right track ...being a Mom is the most challenging and rewarding job you will ever have. Never undervalue it. There were days when I used every bit of the physical strength, patience,creativity and love that I had to pull the day together and tuck the angels into bed. I would look back on what I had accomplished in one day and think...Everyone wants a fulfilling job ...I saved the day,yeah! If I were any more fulfilled, I would explode!!!! Take care

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Janice - posted on 01/26/2012

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Depression is pretty deep and I definitely think you need to get help for it. I have struggled with depression too. My second baby is 8 weeks today and your post could be mine (except the surrogate part). Its so tough to miserable all the time when you want to be enjoying your children. I'm calling the doctor today. You should too. :)

Rachel - posted on 01/25/2012

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I personally never really enjoyed being pregnant, but I did have PPD with my daughter. My doctor was able to prescribe medication which I only had to take for a week before everything balanced out and I was back to my normal self and was able to go off the medication. I would try to find other things that you can do that may fill the void that you feel when you are not pregnant. Perhaps find a therapist that can help you determine methods for dealing with what you feel. Talking to your doctor about it is a really good start.

Denise - posted on 01/24/2012

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You are so right,Kay.I'm sure that it's just taking a toll on me being a full time mom with no time for myself.I need to find ways to get out more and make time for myself.My husband works a lot and has serious health issues so he has limited time with the kids.Im quite sure that once I take care of myself first,things will get better.Its funny that I tell my husband the same thing all the time butnever apply it to myself.I guess thats just the typical role as a caretaker.

Denise - posted on 01/24/2012

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Thanks ,Kay.I do think I am suffering from some form of depression but I dont think its all because of having a baby.I believe a lot of it stems from my life being stressful altogether.I do realize that raising a child is a life long purpose.Although I probably have a condition I am still very capable as a mother to my children.I just try to put my issues aside and take care of the kids.The only reason I really worry is because the depression seems to linger and worsen.I will contact a dr asap although I think a few lifestyle changes would work best.

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