Is it normal to be nervous about adding baby number 2?

Kkrjrpleggett - posted on 11/13/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Okay ladies, I am a bit freaked out here! My husband and I planned and tried for 2 years to conceive our first child. He will now be 18 months on Nov. 16. We just found out on Nov 11 that we are expecting again!

This was not planned and was a HUGE surprise! My son will be 2 years old and 1 or 2 months when the new baby is born. I am freaking out. I LOVE being a mom, I couldn't ask for a better little boy (YES he gets into stuff, what baby doesn't, but he is still a great child). I am just very very nervous about adding a new baby. How do you chase a toddler when you're 8 months pregnant? How do you stop your toddler from getting into things when you're breastfeeding the baby? How on Earth do you handle two?

I really am just looking for reassurance. Does every mother feel this freaked out with the second child on the way?

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Tara - posted on 11/13/2012

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I think so. I found out I was expecting our second child when our first was 9 months old. My first words when I saw the positive test were "oh f*ck". I had a good cry and then I told my husband. I think it is worse when it isn't expected/planned.



That being said you make do. Chasing after a toddler at 8 months pregnant can be a pain, but it is possible.



I started involving my older daughter in the process as soon as I found out I was pregnant - just little things like "Mama and Daddy will have a brother or sister for you", etc. I let her feel my belly when baby kicked and so on. It will be a little different for you because your son will be older when your baby is born, but the easiest thing will be to get him to "help" you - i.e. "can you get Mama a wipe for the baby?" or "can you get Mama the baby blanket?" - it helps them feel more in control and helps avoid them getting into things when you are busy with the baby. And, if you are really stuck, a playpen or baby gate works wonders - your son might not like being stuck in there, but sometimes you just have to have a distraction-free minute or two and knowing they are safe in the playpen or in an area you have marked off as safe with a baby gate helps enormously.



Also, sleep now as much as you can - nap with your son if you have to. Get some help watching your son a few weeks before baby is due and make up a bunch of meals you can freeze. The first 6-8 weeks after baby is born having something you can just defrost, microwave or put in the oven will be a timesaver, moneysaver and lifesaver.



Lastly, if someone offers to help, either before or after baby is born, take the help... it makes a big difference.

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