Is It ok to Try and Put a one yr.old on Time Out??

Janelle Andrea - posted on 02/09/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My Daughter will not stay on a time out..She doesnt like to listen and when ever i tell her no she thinks its a game and does watever she did wrong..all over again.So i was wondering what to try to better help her understand its not ok to not listen.

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Michelle - posted on 02/10/2010

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I agree with maura, I think 1 year is too young. my daughter is 2 and she has been going on the naughty step for the past 6 weeks.
At 12 months they think life is a game, and the best way of teaching your children to behave is to make them learn from example. SO never shout in your house, never throw something down (even if its just the toy into the toybox), and dont get angry with her, cause you just show her that its ok to be angry and shout/lash out.
Really think about the 'crimes' shes committing : ) is it really that bad and detrimental to her growth/wellbeing or do you just not like it? I know my daughter is standing by the tele and pouring her juice into a play cup and drinking it from there..its making me anxious about getting my moms carpet dirty/wet BUT at the ned of the day shes not doing something 'wrong' shes just experimenting.
When my daughter was younger we didnt have a time out, if she was going towards something that would harm her, wed distract her, if shes acting up, screaming shouting etc...then wed take her for a walk in the buggy, it may have been a struggle getting her in, but it worked.
Shes still a baby...she doesnt understand what naughty is...they dont listen as such, they can hear, but dont listen if you get me.
Things you can do:
Just inforce No as NO and never give in, once you say no it means No. NO MATTER WHAT
Distract her at the first sign of her going for trouble...you see her going to the wires by the tele, go get her and show her the picture in the hall, take her mind off it completely.
Going for walks every day, if shes walking, let her walk and not in the buggy... fresh air can do wonders for irritated children. Make sure she gets and hour a day out the house, whether it be just to the shops, or toddler group...being cooped up in the house with the same toys can be fustrating and its good for you too.
Swap and change her toys over each day. Have seperate boxes so that one day she has the cars and track, and the next she has the dolls and pram, the next a kitchen set etc... the rotate them so she doesnt get bored.
Children act up when they are bored or fustrated so illiminate these before punishing her... just try and think on her level and then decide what it is thats making her act out...
If shes smacking/hitting etc... why is it happening? Under no circumstance is hitting anyone allowed...biting etc...so make it known..if she hits out at you, its wrong and you can either move her away and ignore her, and keep doing it until she gets the message, or you can put her somewhere safe and out the way like in the travel cot if you have one, sort of like a time out, but she cant escape!
my daughter is two and we have tried the naughty step and she just gets off up the stairs. we also done naughty corner but it only works sometimes... so ive found that if shes misbahving and ive given her a warning, then she goes on the other side of the stair gate..(stair gate between living room and hall) and its not got alot of light out there so she gets kinda freaked out and I shut the lving room door and stand by the wall so I can see her, and within 3 sec she says sorry and gives loves and shes good as gold for a few hrs till something else upsets her...her dad on the other hand will pick her up, take her out the 'bad' situation and sternly talk to her...and it does the trick!

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Luanne - posted on 02/10/2010

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i find the same problem with my little girl, she thinks when I say no that i am playing a game with her... i sit down and explain to her that what she is doing isn't nice and she isn't allowed to do that anymore... then i tell her she has to sit on the couch and not get down until i tell her that her 1 minute time out is up.. after she got use to the punishment she is fine with it now... she only started this when she was about 16 months old. i think now that she is almost 2 she is starting to understand that no actually means No.

Michelle - posted on 02/10/2010

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Sarah I remeber when I was younger my mum used to do that...if we were bad/nasty etc not shring..then shed have us sit next to her and wernt allowed to get down and play. It worked...I do it with my daughter, my sis with her's and they get the message. When you take them away from something they were enjoying...they wont like it. I used to hate seeing my sisters play together and not be allowed to join in (once I spat at my sis, my mom HATES spitting, there was a slap on the back of my legs and I was made to sit next to her till I apologised)

Sarah - posted on 02/10/2010

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I tend to use a couple different things when they are 1. First I will say "no" in a very stern voice. If they do not stop then I will remove them from the situation. I then do not allow them to return back to that spot (if I can). If it is something I can remove for awhile I will do that. If I can't remove it then I will no allow them to go by that spot for awhile. I also try distraction. I will remove them and then try to get them interested in something that they can play with. At times I do do time-outs. I agree at 1 they are young for time-outs sitting by themselves. What I tend to do is have them sit for about 30 sec. to 1 min. in a spot right by me. I do not have them sit on my lap, to me that is more a reward (cuddle time). I do not interact with them while in time out other than making sure they stay in that spot for that period of time. When that time is done I will then say that we don't do whatever action they were doing. I do not think that at 1 they get the whole concept of time-out, but I think it does help in training them what a time-out is. Does it always work in changing their behavior? Yes and no. I think at that age it is more a distraction and after sitting there for a short time they get distracted and interested in something else. But there are times when they go right back to what they were doing before. I have found that you just have to be consistant and persistant. They will learn but it takes a lot of paitents.

Maura - posted on 02/10/2010

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I really think she is too young for a time-out. Most people start at two years old. Life is still a game for her and you shouldn't expect too much yet. Good luck.

Kahne - posted on 02/10/2010

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From the children classes I have been involved with... and I have even heard it on Dr. Phil....

A child can be put in time out (corner etc...) for a minute for every year of age they are. For ex: your child is 1 yr old... then time out is 1 minute. Child is 2 yrs old..time out is 2 minutes.

Persistance is key!!! Get your self a timer that "dings". Set it for 1 minute. If she keeps coming out, put her back and start the timer over. You will probably do this over and over and over until she realizes she is not going to win.

When she does something naughty...make sure you tell her " this was naughty, we play nice & physically "show" her the right way. Then place her in time out.

Tonya - posted on 02/09/2010

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I use time out with by 1 yr old but did not start until she was about 1 1/2.--I say in a stern voice "no ma'am" time out and sit her in the chair--it really hurts her feelings and works most of the time--remember the rule 1 minute per year of age and I believe no more than 5 min until they are about 10 then send them to their

*** the key is they have to understand what you are doing--if she does not understand what is happening you are just fighting a battle that is not worth it:) try redirecting at this age it works a lot better if she is doing something she should not show her what she should be doing--from lots of trial and error I have definitely learned that positive reinforcement is the best.

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