Is it reasonable to expect all your children to go to bed at the same time?

Davaline - posted on 04/29/2011 ( 18 moms have responded )

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I have a 7year old son and a 22 month old daughter and a baby on the way.

Bedtime in our house is between 7pm and 9pm depending on how big of a day we've had. On average it's at 8pm.

I want to get my 22 month old daughter on a schedual so that when the new baby comes she doesn't keep the baby up and then the baby can fall into a schedual as well.

My son sleeps through absolutly everything... My daughter wakes up to the smallest pin prick.

I was considering putting some sort of white noise recording in her room...I tried the radio and it worked briefly then all of sudden it wouldn't work anymore.

I don't want my daughter waking up the new baby and I don't want the new baby waking up my daughter.

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[deleted account]

My 4 year old and new baby sleep in the same room and the baby hasnt woken him up once yet, I wouldnt worry about it.

Sara - posted on 05/02/2011

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We have 4 kids ages 9,7,5,3. They all go to bed at the same time.Because the 2 girls share a room and the boys share a room, it does not work any other way. When they get old enough to read I allow them to have a bed side lamp on to read for a bit and that makes them feel better about all going to bed at the same time. You need to do what works for you.

Jessica - posted on 05/04/2011

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i actually put my son to bed first with a book to read. i keep the same bed time every night no matter what, big day or not. 7:30. i have them all put on pjs at 6:45 and have them potty. at 6:50 i take my son to bed, tuck him in, give him his light and a book, briefly talk about his day, and tell him good night. he reads for a half and hour to an hour depending on his mood. at around 7:00 take the rest of the kids upstairs and read them books until 7:30. i lay the baby down first (you won't be able to do this with a newborn because they go on their time and not our time until around 6 months) then i tuck in my 6 and 3 year old. i do this in this order based on who causes me less trouble. i lay the ones that cause no trouble down first so they can go to sleep while i deal with the ones that do cause trouble. i would say you are putting your kids to bed way too late if you wait until 9. kids need more predictability than that plus their bodies like to be on a schedule at the same time every day. you should pick a bedtime and stick to it no matter what. your son needs more sleep at night to be refreshed for school. my son is 12 and i don't plan on changing his bedtime any time soon.



as for waking up? i would run a fan in her room. a nice loud round fan and face it toward the wall if it is cold out. it helps my kids plus they can't hear what is going on around the house as well, so they sleep better. at 22 months most of my kids were entering into the bed time battle stage and waking up a lot in the middle of the night or coming in and out of their room a MILLION times. i put a child proof door knob on their door so they could not get out and wander all over the place. that helped with the sleeping better at night. i also unscrewed the light bulb so they couldn't get up and turn on the light a million times too. pretty soon she is going to get worse before she gets better, just to warn you. if you don't agree with the child proof door knob on the inside of the door, you could do a gate in front of her door. i am a huge fan of shutting the door though so they sleep better at night!



your newborn won't be on a schedule till they are six months (i hope you won't expect one before then!). you can't really wake up a newborn that easily. they pretty much sleep through everything. they will do everything on their time and there is really nothing anyone can do to change that including a 22 month old. your baby at around six months will start going to bed at 7:30 and sleeping until 7:30 (and waking up two to three times at night). if they share a room (when your newborn is closer to six months, before that they should be in your room in a bassinet) your then two year old will wake your baby up all the time, just to forewarn you. your two year old will climb in her crib, will reach through the bars, will wake up in the middle of the night to play with her, throw toys over the crib rails, and so on... i ended up keeping my newborn in my room for the first year for that reason (i ended up sleeping on the couch!). my two year old could not be trusted to share a room with the baby!



be prepared for way more bedtime battles to come until she is about three. for me running a fan worked wonders for keeping out noises and the new baby never bothered my daughter or my other kids. as for a schedule, start putting her to bed at the same time every night with the same routine and stick with it even after the baby comes. i did that with all my kids and my baby started to get used to it and started to expect it too... when i say bedtime they all run up the stairs for stories, including the one year old!



i would put them to bed all at the same time, they still all need the same amount of sleep. if you son isn't reading yet, you could include him in stories (i have mine all sit around me or all sit on my lap) and then put him to bed first, then put her to bed right after.

Brianna - posted on 05/03/2011

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my 18 month old goes to bed at 8pm everynight. i think its a good idea to have ur kids go to bed at the same time. my daughter used to wake up to the smallest noise so i started playing music in her room all night lots (i would turn the volume lower when i go to sleep) this seems to of really helped. check out the website sleepsense.net its has lots of great tips/videos all about kids sleep and sleep training

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 05/03/2011

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I'd say..... expect problems? Your 7 year old was old enough to not be affected, but the 2 year old might get thrown by the baby. Maybe. Even then, even if all goes well for your current two children your new one could have a completely messed up schedule that you have to work to fix. Good luck :) it can happen but it might take months to fix if the new one wants to be up all night or something totally different.

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Davaline - posted on 05/04/2011

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Unfortunately no matter how often I tell my 7 year old son or what i give him to do after his sister goes to sleep he makes noises and she just cries for up to an hour if i'd let her. It didn't work for me.

[deleted account]

I don't see why they 22 month old and the new baby couldn't go to bed at the same time. However I don't see the need to add in the 7 year old into that same time slot, unless it is needed.

Jennifer - posted on 05/03/2011

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Of course it is if they are different ages. We have 4 children aged 21, 18, 9 and 9 and no they do not go to bed at the same time! Of course the oldest is away at college and I only assume he goes to bed quite late.

[deleted account]

I have a 28 month old and a 13 month old. They share the same room and go to bed at the same time. I love it. It makes life easier for me and gives me time to myself, or with their father. I don't see a problem in wanting all the children to go to bed at the same time. But your children are much further apart in age than mine are... I also wouldn't see a problem in the older child staying up a bit later, maybe.. in their room...reading, watching tv, playing.. something like that? Just go in a bit later and let them know it's bed time..

Carly - posted on 05/03/2011

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We have 4 children aged 5 years, 3 years, 2 years and nearly 9 months. The baby goes to bed at approx 6.45pm, the 2yo at 7.15pm and the other two share a room and go to bed together at 7.30pm. We have a great routine of dinner at 5.30pm, play time with Dad, dessert at 6.30pm, play/bath and brush teeth and hair and then bed. No-one gets woken up by anyone else and everyone sleeps through until 6.30-7am. Start setting a routine now, stick with it and the kids will adapt as they always do. None of the babies have ever woken up the older kids during the night (and the bubs were always in their own room near the other kids). Pretty soon it will become a ritual and they won't remember any other way. I wouldn't both starting anything with the white noise or anything, just stay firm and she will learn the rules.
I sincerely doubt that your daughter will keep the baby up. Bubs will be used to the noise from day 1 and it will just be background noise. Our baby has always gone to bed at least half an hour before the other 3 (and they make a lot of noise!) and she has never woken once. Always straight to sleep. I assume your toddler still has a nap during the day?
If the baby does wake your daughter in the beginning it is simply a matter of taking her straight back to her bed or laying her back down with some soothing words to tell her it is still sleep time. Stay firm and it won't be long before she gets the idea and won't be disturbed at all. Good luck, number 3 is fabulous!

Charity - posted on 05/02/2011

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I think it is reasonable to put them to bed at the same time. I have a 4yr old son and a 1 year old son and I put them both to bed at 8pm. As for them waking each other up...it may happen in the begginning but they will get used to each other promise and then it will become just another noise of the house...my oldest son was the same way very light sleeper once my youngest was born now he is the complete opposite now I have to drag him out of bed. I also wanted to comment on the "white noise" I find that both of my kids sleep better if I turn on a fan. Good luck and everything will work itself out.

Kristi - posted on 05/02/2011

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I think it is ideal to have them on the same sleeping schedule. My daughter and son (wo are 14 months apart) were on the same sleeping schdule (which took a lot of time to do) ut recently my son who is now 2 has decided he is a big boy and just freaks out when he goes to bed the same time as his sister. i guess he already doesn't want to be treated like a baby. so we put her to bed first and him to bed about 20 minutes later. We bought a 'sleep sheep' for both of our children and it helps them sleep. It is a sheep plush toy that plays varoius nature sounds.

Elise - posted on 05/02/2011

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both my kids (daughter 2 1/2 and son 5 months) go to bed at 7pm. it works really well for me. if the baby is really sleepy then he goes to bed first by about 30 mins. i also have a toy (like tara) for my son that plays music for 5 mins to help him to sleep and both kids have a fan going in their rooms for white noise.

Colleen - posted on 05/01/2011

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It is completely reasonable and it is helpful for the kids to have that schedule. I was worried about this when my son was born. Out DD wasn't the best sleeper and I was afraid that she would wake him up all the time. The first month or 2 will be rough no matter what but I think that you can make it happen.

Medic - posted on 05/01/2011

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My 15 month old has always gone to bed 30 min before her brother who is now 4.5years. Right now they share a room and they have a white noise because she has been used to it since she was born and my older one is dead when he sleeps. I like staggering them for bedtime because it seems to work better.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/30/2011

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She will get used to hearing the baby crying and it won't wake her anymore. Let it be...will it be a pain for a bit? YEP! but it won't last forever..she will eventually just tune it out ..even in her sleep.

Jane - posted on 04/30/2011

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i put on a classical cd that has ocean sounds on it. i play it all night long.
my friend has 3 as well, she scatters their bedtimes. i try to put all 3 of mine down at the same time. i think i'd be less stressed if i scattered them, too.
things will change when the baby gets here, but they'll get back on track in month or two.

Bonnie - posted on 04/30/2011

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I think it's alright to have them go to bed at around the same time. The younger ones nap so they find it easier to stay up a bit later rather than your 7 year old trying to go to bed earlier. My kids are 2.5 and 4.5 and they both go to bed at around 8:30. If we have a third he or she will likely follow in the same footsteps.

Tara - posted on 04/30/2011

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I think it's perfectly reasonable to want all of your kids on the same bedtime.
What I did when I had my youngest was just work her bedtime into my existing bedtime routine with her older sister. They both now are in bed and asleep by 7 pm at the latest.
What worked for me with my oldest (she's the same as your daughter for waking up) was a little lullaby projector - it plays a set of songs and can be set for 5 or 10 minutes. She is usually asleep well before it finishes :)
Bedtime was actually between 7:30 and 8 pm when we brought our 2nd girl home but both girls wound up fighting that a lot so we just experimented with times and wound up with both girls going to sleep better at the earlier time frame (works for me too). It helped that our girls are 18 months apart (they are 3 and 18 months now).
Since your son is a heavy sleeper I think your best bet is to go with what works currently for your daughter and work your new baby into that schedule rather than trying to change your older kids schedules for the new baby.

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