Is it right to feel alone?

Michelle - posted on 05/11/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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This is my first baby and Im now a stay at home mom. I love it but sometimes I feel like Im the one doing all the work while my husband just comes on and sits on the couch. I know he works and makes the money but I thought this was a partnership. Then, I get so mad at him and I feel like Im going to scream and just start yelling at the wrong person,like my little one. How can I calm down before it gets worse? Any ideas on calming down tricks?

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Kristin - posted on 05/11/2010

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Try time out. Sit down, close your eyes, take 10 to 20 deep breaths, and think of something that calms you. Then go give your little one a big hug and a kiss. Do this anytime you start to get ready to scream.

Then write down how you need him to help around the house. Do you need him to play with the baby so you can do some dishes or fold some laundry? Do you need him to push the vacuum or sweep from time to time? Maybe take out the trash. Give baby a bath or read to him?

While yes, he does make the money, you didn't go into this to be a single parent. He can step up his parenting here. You both live in the home, he can help a bit there too.

Jennifer - posted on 05/11/2010

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I would ask him when things are calm if he could help out a bit. Men can be pretty clueless about these things. Ask him if he would like you to give him a list of things he can help with -- laundry, dishes, tidying up, etc. -- and remind him that right now your main job is taking care of the baby, not the house. Oh, and relax the standards a bit for awhile, too, if that's workable for you.
Also, getting out to some mother's groups would probably help you a lot.

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