is it to soon for another baby

Michelle - posted on 05/21/2010 ( 29 moms have responded )

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i have a 4 month old daughter but i have been thinking about trying for baby number 2 now but my partner says its to soon and i should give my body a break and maybe wait until our daughter is 2, i am planning to back to work when my baby starts pre-school when she's 3 so i want to have my babies really close so i dont stay out of work for years on end how long did other mums wait before trying again and should i be satisfied with the baby i have got???

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Michelle - posted on 05/25/2010

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My Little Boy Is 18 Months Old And I Am 6 Months Pregnant he will be 3 months away from his 2nd birthday when his little sister is born, it is what you feel comfortable with but i have a 4 year age gap with my brother and we dont get on and i always wanted a sister or brother closer to my age!, hope i have been of help xx

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It is up to you always first and for most. You might want to get checked to make sure that your body has healed enough because I know some people who had them close together and their bodies couldn't take it. But that is not to say that other people will have that problem as well. I waited until my first was about 1 and a half before I had that second so they are two and a half years apart. When I got pregnant with our third when my second was 9 months old and the doctor was nervous. I had two difficult pregnancies and I really should have waited. My third baby died in womb at 23 weeks pregnant. Not to say that would happen to you but my doctor said that when babies are planned to be close together you should check your body first...Meaning with a doctor. If I would have done so I would have known about what was going on with my body and that it wasn't ready.

Erica - posted on 05/25/2010

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I have 5 kids 11,10,6,5,and 4 the gap between the 6 and 10 year old is hard to deal with the 6 year old is too old to hang with the younger two and not quite old enough to hang with the older 2 they all love each other but the smaller 2 have bonded greatly and the older two as well and allot of times I see him being left out and it breaks my heart, so I am all for close together or far enough apart that the older one sees the new baby as cute and sweet and someone they want to help take care of.

Rebekah - posted on 05/24/2010

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My midwife told me to wait AT LEAST one year. She actually recommends 18-24 months b/c your body has an easier time bouncing back after the 2nd baby.



I got pregnant when my son was 14 months old, but miscarried at 7 weeks. It probably had nothing to do with it, but it made me think I was trying before my body was ready. I got pregnant again when my son was 17 months old and had a healthy baby girl 27 months after my son. The 2 year gap was great b/c my son was already pretty independent, potty trained, and he showed very little jealousy.



Many many years ago (before birth control pills) the only form of birth control was nursing, so people naturally nursed until their children were between 18 months and 2 years and then got pregnant again... So the 3 year age gap might actually be the more "natural" gap. I don't know it's up to you and your partner.



I recommend spending some time with a child 9-12 months older than your current child before you decide you are ready. A second child is WAY more than "just" double the work.

Angie - posted on 05/22/2010

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There are 5 total in my family. My oldest brother will be 60. The second is 54, next turns 53, me at 52, and my sister at 49.
I am very close with everyone. My brother who is 15 months older than me, he and I have a bond like none other. I know it's because we were so close in age.
I say, if it feels right for you to start again so soon, go for it.
With two so close, that means they end about the same time too. However, there is never an end to parenting...and I'm glad for that!

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Sara - posted on 05/27/2010

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My oldest is 10 and my youngest is one and I have five children so a few of mine are clos in age.My first and second are 3 years apart my second and third are 1.5 years apart my third and fourth are 2 years apart and my fourth and fifth are 2 years apart.When I got preg with my thrid my second was only 8 months old.Now that I am on my 6 it is hard on your body but this would only be your second and you would be able to have a second now without problems if you wanted to.I think it should be something you both want though.Gl

Laura - posted on 05/27/2010

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That's up to you and how you feel. With my first I wanted another right away. They are almost 2 years apart the first year was a little hard for me but my older daughter is wonderful sister. They are very close, yes they have there moments like anyone else. But they love eachother and my older daughter calls her sister her best friend. We want a 3 but this time I waited a little longer. My youger daughter is 3 but that was up to me as anthing should be, if you want you partener are read, I say go for it, don't let other people run how you and your partner want to run your family. Good luck!

Melissa - posted on 05/27/2010

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I myself had my first son and shortly after found out that i was pregnant again was not planned but, would never change it... My boys ended up being a year and two days apart. Some people may think that i am crazy but i enjoyed it all. My boys they are close there for each other all the time.. There is your normal kid disagreements but, happy with it all! :0)

Alicia - posted on 05/27/2010

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I think its between you and your husband. You both need to be ready for a new addition.

My husband and I decided we were ready for a new baby when my first was 16mths. We were able to conceive right away so that makes them 25mths apart. I think its a good age difference, Now they are almost 2 and 4 and are completly insepertable. Now we are TTC #3, and my daughter would be 2 1/2 by the time the new baby came along. So we think we are ready. By then my daughter should be potty trained and not as clingy so that I can care for a newborn.

But life is short so don't put off the things you want from life. What if you talked to him about not activly trying but if it happens it happens?

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My oldest two are 19 months apart, i found two no more hard work than one to be honest. My sons are 11 and nearly ten now and they fight like cat and dog but they are really close too.

Kim - posted on 05/27/2010

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There are 2 1/2 years between my first two and four years later we had #3. The first is still jealous of the second, and they are 12 and 10 and different sexes. The third plays with each of them fabulously, The older are kind and sweet to her most of the time.
I like the spacing between the second and the third. Instead of them 'growing up together' in a heap, we get to experience things individually. I think I like the larger space than the shorter.
Everyone is different. Do what works for you. (My sister in laws are 18 months apart, have never gotten along and at over 50 still can't stand to be in the same room. Nothing is guaranteed

Margaret - posted on 05/26/2010

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You might want to consider the developmental stage of your children and when is the right time for them top have a sibling - Children up to 1 don't even know that they have a separate body from you!! I have 3.5 years between mine because I know they need lots of one on one with thier mum while they are little - this gives the child (n the family) the best chances as they are more stable and have a greater sense of themselves. When we make decisions based more on finances then the best interest of the child we get the world we have today!

Christy - posted on 05/26/2010

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I planned my first baby at 32, and had an unplanned baby at 33. They are a year apart and it's really hard....depends on your age. If I was younger I would have waited so they would be at least 2 yrs apart. However, they are best friends and I certainly don't regret it at all.

CARRIE - posted on 05/24/2010

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It takes at least a year for your body to recover. You should do what's right for your family which includes taking into consideration your partners feeling on the subject.

Violet - posted on 05/24/2010

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My oldest is 3 and my middle child is 2, I got pregnant with my middle child when my oldest was 7 months old.. So they are bout 15 months apart..Its all up to you and ur partner

Jaelyn - posted on 05/24/2010

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My cousin had her babies back to back, three of them in 3 years. I said she was nuts, but she is completely happy with it. She likes that the stages all happened relatively close together which she said made it easier, as they learned together, like potty training.



I say, do what feels right to you. Also consider the financial impact and whether or not you can afford it. Babies are definitely more expensive, so two at a time is double the expense.



As for your body, that depends on each person and how they bounce back. Some say having them closer together is better so they don't stress about losing baby weight in between, others would prefer to get in shape again before having another. It is all personal opinion. Mine are(were) 2 years apart and looking back I wish they were a little closer together, there is a 4 yr gap now that our middle child didn't make it.



Also keep in mind that you might not get pregnant again right away, you could leave it up to your body to decide when it is ready.

Enid - posted on 05/24/2010

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well if you think you are up to the challenge go for it, but base on my experience, I would wait a lil more, like 2 yr. Having them so close is like having twin and it can be really hard in the beginning they both will fight for you attention and you are just one. But then when they get older it will be good cause they both will go thru the same, they will play with each other, and etc. But like I say is really overwhelm, specialty when the older kid can't help u. My 2 lil boys are 18 month apart.

Veronica - posted on 05/24/2010

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I agree with your husband. My kids are two years apart. But like someone else said take the time to bond with your baby now and give your body a break. If your husband is head strong on two years and you push for now you may end up with marriage problems.

Sarah - posted on 05/24/2010

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My children our 11months apart..though my second was a surprise it has been amazing and not as hard as i thought it would be having two now that they are growing up together its lot easier understand both of them like we are all on the same page and yes i also want to go back to work when they reach pre school which having my daughter when we did i only have to wait one extra year to go back..so think about it one this is you will have your hands tied up having both at close ages together..but i think its well worth it=)

Andrea - posted on 05/24/2010

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I don't think it is to soon. I have 3 kids plus 3 step from 8,7,5,4,2,1. My son turned 2 in dec and my daughter turned 1. So my kids are all pretty close.

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im currently prego with my 2nd lil girl they will be about 13 months apart i feel the same way i want to go back to work when they r in pre k bc under no circumstances will i put them in daycare im happy they will be close in age bc they will grow up together be in the same school for most of the time and be able to have someone around to play with all the time ...i say if thats what u want go for it dont let someone else tell u what they think is best only u know that ....goodluck

Rozalyn - posted on 05/22/2010

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It is better for your body to wait a full year after giving birth before getting pregnant again. Your body needs to recover the nutrients it loses during pregnancy and breastfeeding. However, my two sons are 15 months apart (I found out I was pregnant when he was 7 months old), and I absolutely love it! I can't wait until they're older because they will ALWAYS have each other to play with. The first couple months are really hard...a newborn needs all your attention, as does a 15 month old, but if I can do it, anyone can. The decision is really up to what you and your partner feel is best for your family.

Kristin - posted on 05/22/2010

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I didn't want to talk about it until the child was 1 and no trying for anything until they were 18 months. Our kids are 29 months between 1 and 2. 2 and 3 will be about 34.5 months apart. They are close enough to play together, but not so close it was two babies at once.



You should absolutely be satisfied with the baby you have. But, I don't think that's what you are asking. I am wondering if you are asking if you should be satisfied with only one child. That is something that only you can decide and need to talk about with your partner. I know that my plan for going back to work is going to involve some continuing education classes and volunteering to update the resume, I can do that when they get to preschool or all-day/elementary school. I will also say that it is harder to appreciate your older child while you are pregnant. I felt exhausted and sick for most of it, and the rest of it just had me feeling hostile.



Just some things to consider, not that they will even really apply to you. Good luck.

Sarah - posted on 05/22/2010

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having them close in age is wonderful for them 2 grow up together, they would have a strong bond.
but i would definatly make sure you and your partner are ready for another 1 first and definatly be satified with your lil one

Luna - posted on 05/22/2010

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My son had just celebrated his 1st birthday when I found out I was pregnant with number two who is due in just over a week now, it's gonna be fun coping with a newborn and a defiant 20 month old but I like a challenge! I think the older the first child is the easier it will be as my first born LOVES helping Mama and adores babies, especially his little cousin who is 6 months old now, but is still a little terror when he wants to be! But at the end of the day it's up to you and your partner to decide when you want a baby, do you think you can cope with two lots of nappy changes and screaming babies? If you think you can then I say go for it, you'll never know until you try and luckily that phase doesn't last forever, it might just seem like it does! XD

Becky - posted on 05/22/2010

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My youngest daughter is 4 months. We are going to start trying when she is 6 months. We have 33 months between our children now and I don't like it. Just talk to your SO and let him know how you feel about.

Medic - posted on 05/21/2010

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I planned my kids 3 years apart. That being said it is medically recomended to let your body recover between having kids and that takes about 2 years.

Elizabeth - posted on 05/21/2010

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My husband and I wanted our children close, but not too close. You might consider giving your self a little time to enjoy bonding with your first one and get in the swing of motherhood before you add pregnancy in the mix. Just to note the second precnancy is usually quite different than the first one! My girls are 30 months apart and I love it! The older one is big enough to help some, and she has bonded really well! And of course this is just what worked for us, so you and the daddy just have to make a plan right for your family!

Jennifer - posted on 05/21/2010

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That is totally up to you and your partner. There are many babies that are 11 and 12 months apart. My first two were only 15months and at first it was really hard. But, by the time the second one was 6 months, everything was great. They have even had a very close bond and I think it is because they are so close in age. Just, don't do anything without both of you agreeing on it, or it could cause big problems between the two of you.

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