Is it uncommon for a dad s to have custody?

Kyleigh - posted on 05/13/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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This was a debate question on the discussion of parenting.

Is it uncommon for dads to have custody?

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4 Comments

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Natasha - posted on 12/25/2011

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It may be uncommon but it is not impossible. Mother's are unfit as well and sometimes the father has to have full custody. I know a situation where the father has his children and the mother rarely sees’s the children. She doesn't provide for them financially or have any dealings with doctor's appointments, clothes, school etc. The world is set up to take the favor of the mother and they look down on the fathers. The reason is because a lot of fathers drop the ball but some are and have stepped up to the plate and they should be respected and granted full custody of the children.

Shae - posted on 05/15/2011

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I have a friend who loved his kids, worked hard to earn the money to take them, made sure his work would let him have the weekends he needed off so that when he had his kids he could spend all the time with them. When his ex-wife took them to Perth on his weekend without permission, just got the kids to ring him up from Perth on the Friday he was supposed to pick them up from school, to let him know; he took her to court. After the normal horrid dealings with these type of things, he wound up with only having them 1 in every 2 weekends. Doesn't seem fair that when she does the wrong she gets the bonus?

But then, some dad's deserve to have their kids when the mother doesn't, and when they prove it to the court the mother sometimes doesn't even get visitation rights (within reason of course). So I guess it depends on who is involved; judge, lawyers, children and parents.

Abigail - posted on 05/15/2011

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It's not as uncommon as it used to be, but it is becoming more common. The most recent statistics are from the early 90's and they say 10%, so my guess is today it's gotta be at least double that. Many courts are changing their tune towards mothers. I actually lost custody of my daughter to my ex because I was "too poor to care for a child" but I've also heard stories of mothers who lost custody because they had full-time careers and were told they were "too unavailable to care for a child" and the unemployed father was given full custody. It seems like these days, it's whoever has the better attorney who can do a better job at making the other parent look like an incompetant dirtbag. Judges don't even do their own research, they put all their eggs in whatever basket their GAL's or Mediators/PO's are holding, and if that person doesn't like you...you just lost your kids.

Chrissie - posted on 05/15/2011

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Uncommon kinda. Most moms do. It's rare that a dad gets full custody and if he does he must have don a real good job on making mom look really bad. No saying that some dad's dont absolutely deserve to hae custody. But I think it's common knowledge that the one that usually gets left with the emotional and financial burden of raising kids, is the mom cause dad leaves and women have a harder time leaving.. I say that because that is exactly what happened to me. We were happy, had a baby, he bailed and I got the kid. To this day he thinks he is something special and that I owe him something.. Ridiculous

Michelle - posted on 05/13/2011

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As far as I know the favored arrangement is joint custody these days. It's not as uncommon but still relatively uncommon for fathers to have primary custody. I'm not an expert or anything. I am happily married. But divorced friends and family as well as 10 years at a job that involved mostly divorced/ divorcing families has given me a glimpse of how it works. You can take that for what ever it's worth since I don't have any direct experience.

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