is it worth it...

Cleaver - posted on 03/06/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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i would like to start at the beginning before all the problems:
my husband was perfect, we went out a lot, did a lot together, after we had our first kid together he was supportive, loving, helpful, etc... until our son was about 6 months old, his father introduced him to this paypal like thing called bitcoins (please i really don't want to get into what they are) and slowly his attention started to draw more and more to it he started to get verbally abusive, sexually abusive, hes even grabbed me i only saw it escalating, so i left. He promised things would change, well they have yet haven't he is still verbally abusive, sexually also when i don't give it up he takes it, he hasn't grabbed me or anything since . but now 2 years later all he does is spend his time looking at bitcoins; bitcoin chats, bitcoin forums, bitcoin charts... i feel like I'm only an after thought. hes put on so much weight so fast that he has worse stretch marks then i do and i had 2 kids, he hasn't shaved since... well i have forgotten, he doesn't shower often enough, refuses to let me cut his hair.... hes lost his temper at our 2.5 year old I'm scared to leave him alone with our 5 month old. he stays up all night looking at his bitcoin BS and sleeps in until 11 at supper time he wolfs down his food and jumps back to his computer... i have become depressed seeing my husband change this drastically, looks-wise, attitude-wise, and personality-wise i don't know what to do i love him so much its making me depressed i want to leave but i don't, i miss the man i fell in love with.

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Sarah - posted on 03/08/2013

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Then I would say you have to decide if you want to be a victim or a survivor. A victim does nothing and complains about the situation. A survivor acknowledges the situation and figures out how to make it better. I know you are trying to figure things out and that this is a processes, but you also have to decide which direction you want to go.

Ashley - posted on 03/07/2013

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Hi it sounds like you are having a rough time..... I couldn't imagine what you are going through. My husband has never laid a hand on me and he better not ever, but for your safety and your kids it might be best if you walk away. The emotional stress that it's putting on you is not good and your kids can feel it from you as well. If you have already left him and things haven't changed they might not ever..... A man should never be that abusive to his family. I really hope your situation gets better, they have people who will help you to get out and make it without him. Good luck

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Cleaver - posted on 03/07/2013

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yes i have tried instead of having a discussion he sits there like a lump on a log so i go on and on until i feel like i am scolding him

Ashley - posted on 03/07/2013

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Have you tried to talk to him about how you feel, let him know how bad it's hurting you? If you've tried and things are still the same I agree with Sarah and maybe try to find a support group you can discuss your issues with and see what options you have.

Sarah - posted on 03/07/2013

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I am not sure if you live in the US or not or if you have this where you live, but I would look into a group or counseling that works with people who live with abuse. You can't work on him, but you can work on you. No one deserves to be abused and no one asks for abuse, but there are things that the person being abuse does to enable to abuser. Sometimes they are doing it in hopes the abuse won't happen. They walk on eggshells hoping that they won't cause a blow up......in reality sometimes this is just making it easier for the abuser to abuse. Getting involved with a domestic abuse shelter or services will help you learn how to make things better for you and your kids. That does not mean it will look like you want it to look, but it will give you the strength to do what you need to do.

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