Is it wrong to cut out grandparents?

Catey - posted on 01/05/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )




My father and his wife treat my husband and I horribly and don't show either of us any respect at all. They don't mind our rules, fight us on everything not just out son, and my father constantly bad-mouthes my husband to me. I can't take it anymore, so I am considering as soon as it's possible to just cut them out of my life for mine and my husband's sake and the sake of our marriage. We do get in fights because of my father and his wife.

However, they love my son, he loves them, and they don't purposefully do anything bad to him. Is it fair or right to cut them out for mine and my husband's sakes even though it will cost my son? By the way, my son is a year old, so he wouldn't know if they were cut out, which is why I need to know now so the separation will be easier on him.


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Nelly - posted on 01/06/2013




If they are disrespecting you and your husband I would have cut them out of our lives a long time ago. They won't stop disrespecting you because both of you have tolerated it.

Mary - posted on 01/05/2013




I don't think it's a bad thing to get disrespectful people out of your life. Having the wrong people in our lives is like ingesting poison. You might consider, out of fairness, letting him know where you are at in the relationship. You might want to try letting him know what isn't working for you and why. You could suggest tangible things he could do and not do to repair the relationship. To be nice and the bigger person you might try to demonstrate that you see his point of view even though you don't agree. (Like validate him.) Speak or write honestly, directly, compassionately and from the heart. If he becomes defensive or isn't cooperative then let him go *completely*. In a couple of years he might be ready to sing a different tune. The only reason why I even suggest giving him a chance to repair the relationship is so that no one can guilt you and you can't guilt yourself for getting him out of your life. Having him have contact with your son but not have a relationship with you is not possible.

If your heart says heck no he's gotta go, then let him go. He should have treated you and your husband better. As a grown man he has to accept the consequences of his actions.

Good luck. :)

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