Is this a form of cheating

[deleted account] ( 10 moms have responded )

My husband went back to school and him an this girl have had a few classes together. Now this time they actually planned on having this same class together which I kinda was like ok not liking this to much. He leaves early to study at school with her and a few others. I intercepted a text the other day saying I'm picking up alewine and brining him when we meet for dinner. Ok so I am about to freak out! I text back where at. She says the same place as last time. Now I am pissed so my husband has been going to dinner with this girl and I have no clue about this should I be upset. He says it's nothing they are just friends

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Sal - posted on 07/14/2012

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if it is just as you describe then no its not cheating, firstly as it doesn't seem it is your hubby and the girl alone, it is a group deal, you don;t take alewine on a date...lol....class mates do have class stuff to talk about, he is getting to know different people and it is a new phase of his life with new friends and new interests, if the text was from alewine saying he's bringing the girl would you of freaked out?? probably not,
is it possible that you might be pissed he is going out to dinner while you are home with the kids, he is going to school and meeting new people he finds interesting while you are home with the kids, so not the fact that he is with a girl but the fact he is out having a seemingly good time while you are on the home front nothing changing,
as for leaving early to study, i can get this at home with a couple of little kids isn;t exactly study perfect,
try and make a time that you and your hubby can do something together so that you don;t feel left out of the fun, maybe not with the class mates but just you and him so that you get a turn at the fun too...

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I would be hurt that if they are just friends why he didn't say hey babe some study mates and I are going out for dinner, wanna come too? Or hey babe some study mates are going out for dinner do you mind if I go too? Then that would have given you the chance to ask how many are going etc and all in the open. I think if he doesnt bring it up to begin with means that hes concerned you might get upset. If they were just friends why would you be upset .. see where im getting at? I think you should have a chat with him about him being open with you as being married doesnt mean you each get your own life you still share the same one

Annissa - posted on 07/16/2012

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The problem is that he isn't giving you the information. I would be upset/worried etc if my husband didn't tell me that they were having dinner even if other people were going to be there. Obviously there is something going on....emotional cheating is still a type of cheating. You may want to try to get him to do more things with you, date nights etc. He may not realize what he is doing, some guys just don't see it. Especially when they are perfectly happy at home with you, they don't understand when we get mad when they do things cause they figure everything at home is fine.

Sal - posted on 07/14/2012

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my hubby often works with only a woman, (whom we often have over for tea etc) she is probabally his best work mate so to speak, he has also been for training trips with another woman as his travel partner etc, it really isn;t something that bothers me, even when the woman announced her preg a few weeks after they had been away for a week together and by some weird co-incidence when the baby was named he shared my hubbies quiet unique middle name (as did her hubby it turns out)....we made a joke about it but it wasn;t something i ever really worry about

Carol - posted on 07/14/2012

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When I went back to school I was often paired up with the few men in the class because I was one of the "older" women and the girls paired up with each other before you could turn around. I had study e-mails go back and forth and the occasional phone call. I also went out of my way to talk with my husband about it and invited my lab partner and his family to our house for a BBQ after the class was over. As far as I know, he was never jealous. He went to lunch with women, 1 on 1, all the time at his work. He'd tell me about it and he had them (and their families) over for BBQ's occasionally too. I was never jealous. We trusted each other totally.

Norvella - posted on 07/14/2012

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I'd be so mad, for real. Yes it is cheating, he is going and doing things with her couples do. If he has not told you he does any of this

Stifler's - posted on 07/13/2012

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When you're studying it's very good to have study buddies and someone you know in your course. It's not their fault the other person canceled. When I was at uni we had uni dinners and stuff all the time and partners weren't invited. I was far too busy to be romantically involved with anyone.

Lakota - posted on 07/13/2012

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Yes, it is inappropriate. It may not have gone further than dinner. But, you do need to talk to your husband about it. If he says the "we are just friends" thing, tell him fine but it needs to stop. It is your feelings and his respect for you that should come first.

Mallory - posted on 07/13/2012

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Honestly I would be upset to. I think the fact that he has been hiding it speaks for itself. It all depends on your relationship and trust, but if he felt he wasn't doing anything wrong why hide it? So yes I agree you have every right to be upset. Keep your chin up!

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