Is wrong to want to be away from the kids?

Trista - posted on 03/26/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Don't get me wrong, I love my boys! But right now, I am stuck with them 24/7. Thru all the fighting, screaming, crying, pushing, shoving, whining, etc. We live with my in-laws, which has taken a strain on things. I am hardly around my husband, and when we are together we just argue, and go our separate ways..(well he ignores me for the tv or leaves). I admit Ive complained a lot, but I feel sooo stressed out with everything going on. I go to bed late night/early morning. Get up early in the morning with my husband so he's ready for work. Try to catch another hour of two of sleep then get up with the kids..With them all day long, get them to bed, then catch my couple hours "me time", then off to bed to start it all over again. I do get an occasional break when absolutely needed if I have to run an errand that taking kids to would be next to, if not impossible. But I never get a full night out anymore, for myself, or for me and my husband to try to stay peaceful to each other. But those days, when the kids start in... I just wanna run away! I feel soo bad for admitting to it, but there are times I absolutely can't stand to be around them. And no one seems to wanna help me out when I need it. I just get told.."Oh well, should have thought about that before you had kids" "You dont get a life, or the "me time" anymore".. Really? I mean am I the only one that feels this much resentment? Does that make me a bad person? I dont know what to do anymore.. Feels like things are just falling apart, and there are times I think I could cope better if I didnt have kids running around me all the time.. Any advice? Help!

Sincerely,

Trista

8 Comments

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User - posted on 03/31/2010

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go out get a job while the boys are at school and where i live the boys club fee is 15 bucks a year thats right i said year so much cheaper than daycare pack them a lunch drop them off to play on summer days and go to work. and prove you can do it without him and that you are happier and that will burn his ass and then when you are in the right place setteled and things are less crazy and dont seem as hard go get your hair did and go out and you will meet a guy who will understand and love you and help with the kids and let you have time for yourself i know there are people out there like that because im one of them and so is my husband see i take care of his kids who live with us on top of our 2 kids....good luck

Kristin - posted on 03/27/2010

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I'm so sorry for what's happening in your family right now. Did he say why he wants the divorce? Where is your family and can you go to them? No matter what's going on with everything else, marriage, kids, in-laws, you still need time for yourself. You need to give to yourself a little to be able to give to anyone else, husband or kids. It is totally normal to start feeling resentful when you are under so much stress and it feels like no will help you.

As for the fallout from a separation or a divorce, he still has to support his children. That's why they call it child support. You will find a place to live and get a job. It will be hard on all of you. Just please, please, please be patient with both yourself and your boys, it will get better. If you are willing to work hard and swallow your pride, you will make a better life for yourself and your boys. It's going to be both harder and easier to find time alone if you and your husband separate. You won't fail, you are a mom who can see that she has obstacles.

Keep your chin up, you can do this.

Trista - posted on 03/27/2010

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Thank you, everyone for the advice.. But I think I may be too late. My husband has confronted me, wanting a divorce now. So now Im stuck in a tough place.. I have no where for my children and me to go, and he works all the time, never has spent hardly anytime with them. He has the job, the money, and the only working car. So how can either of us take care of them the way they need right now?.. Ugh.. I am being tested in such ways Im afraid Ill fail..

User - posted on 03/27/2010

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NO IT IS NOT WRONG girl you need to take that time for you or you will always be a little pissy, you got to let your mind be free from reality and take a little time for you it will help in more than one way i have found that if i get just a hour twice a week im great and i also use a little of this time once in awhile to go look at stuff for adults and surprise my hubby with it when the night is done and it is just the two of us laying there in bed and that makes him happy cause he knows i was thinking about him and us! and it is fun to be alittle naughty it will be relaxing to the mind and the next morning will be a little less stressful for everybody because they will since the stress and tention vibes are not as much as the day before......good luck!

Kimberly - posted on 03/27/2010

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You are not wrong! I feel like this often. We have 3 kids 5,3,1 and we are having financial problems so there are days that I feel so overwhelmed and out of control. You need to get out even if it is just walking around your neighborhood, or drving around somehwere. Sometimes it is even nice to lock the bathroom door and take a long bath/shower. You do get a life and "me time" !!! If you don't keep yourself mentally happy and sound then it is not doing you or your kids any good. Are there any parks near by? I take mine their a lot so they can run off their energy and get out of my hair. Pray!!! That will help you also!

Sharline - posted on 03/26/2010

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You need the time for you!!!! You need time for your husband and you!!!! If the in-laws don't want to help daycare might be a good thing for a couple of hours a day. Take an online couse. Have the husband ask his parents to watch the kids and make it a date night. If not the they wont then it is their loss... but make time for you and for him... it will help in the long run... But take the time for you... even if you need to "step out" the house for a few minutes.... You are not wrong... I get that way and I just walk out the door and tell my husband they are yours.... I need a walk... and go... no time for him to fight or argue with me... good luck and it will get better.... it has for me...

Rebecca - posted on 03/26/2010

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I dont care what any mom says when they say they never wanna leave there kids!!! we all have those days where we need "me " time so we can take care of our kids better i have my kids most of the time my husband is in the army and is gone offten !! i think we all have had resentment at one time or another! it might cost a pretty penny but put them in a daycare for a couple hours once in a while if no one will help you !!! i hope things get better for you!!!!!!

Amy - posted on 03/26/2010

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I know How you feel. Your a Good Mom. We all need to take time for our self's it makes us better Moms.

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