Is your kid(s) self sufficient or need lots of personal contact?

Erica - posted on 03/10/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 13 months and she is an only child. I am a stay at hom mom/full time college student and my husband works full time. My daughter seems to need personal attention 24/7! I dont always have time for that. When I dont give her my full attention, she screams at me so loud and she gets mean. Then she tenses her entire body up and for the lack of a better word, grunts. And if i still dont play with her, she will throw herself on the floor and start kicking and screaming. I dont know what to do to make her more self sufficient. Can u help?

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[deleted account]

I had one of each-one who doesn't care where Mommy is until it's time to eat and a two year old who spent a lot of time glued to my backside after I stopped working. It was extremely irritating at first, but everyone told me it was just a phase and I needed to ignore the fits. It did go away after a while, but it was so hard to walk away from my screaming little baby. As long as she is safe and not physically hurting herself, I've been told it's okay for mommy to walk away.

Brittany - posted on 03/12/2010

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babies are so much smarter than we give them credit for, seriously! they are quite the little manipulators lol



my son has his good and bad days with this, he's 11 mos old now. ever since he could crawl, he's been a little more independent, but he still requires some 1 on 1 time from me of course, and sometimes it can be stressful and he makes it hard to get anything done! what i usually do is when he wakes up in the morning or from his nap, i bring him out into the living room where his toys are and sit on the floor for a few minutes and play with him. after he's really engaging in whatever he's playing with, i just get up and walk to the kitchen to do dishes, do laundry, whatever. for as long as he'll play for. you should try this with her. it sounds stupid, but also tell her exactly what your intentions are.. they understand more than you think. when you have to leave the room or do something, explain to her that mommy needs to do this and this and she'll be back to play again. it helps to always be in sight too, although i'm sure you know this :)



sometimes you just have to let them whine and fuss, or in her case throw tantrums, lol. it's tough, but she's literally testing you when she does this! she knows now that by throwing a fit, you'll give in and give her her way. not to say that you have to ignore her when she acts this way, of course not, but just tell her calmly with a smile, "your tantrums will get you nowhere", etc. don't let her know it's stressing you out, and more likely than not she'll eventually give up. if not, pick her up for a few minutes while you get things done, then try to set her down again.



one thing i've noticed, and it seems like common sense, is that they get bored with their toys! for the longest time, i couldn't figure out why my son all of a sudden lost interest in his millions of toys. someone suggested this, so i split them up into three (yes, three!) huge plastic tupperware tote containers. every week or so, i swap the container out for a new one, and he goes nuts like it's christmas :) you should try doing something like this, it may help keep her interested. other than that, i can't think of anything. if it persists, you could always check with her pediatrician and see what they suggest. hope it gets better for you soon, and as jordan's grandma would say, "this too shall pass".. hang in there! :)

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[deleted account]

Wow.. My first was an only child until she was 4. She was very independent & self-sufficient. My new baby though (10 months) is very needy. If I'm not holding her, she is crawling around the house crying saying "mama". Pitiful. I don't know what to do either. I just let her be if I have to get other stuff done. She's not happy about it, but oh well.

Sue - posted on 03/11/2010

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I have 2 kids- my son is very indepdant and does things very much on his own has been that way since birth - my daughter on the other hand - no way! He is a hands on 24/7 I am a stay at home mom with a 1-1/2 and 2-1/2 yr olds they are 11 months apart. My daugther throws tantrums and screams, crys and trows thing if i ignore her for a second. I even have to take her to the bathroom with me. She plays okay with her brother but needs mom in the room at all times. The moment I walk out - my goodness she knows. All I can suggest is try doing your homeowrk after she goes to bed and a nap time. Try to do your housework with her during the day and include her in your activities. That helps with me. I use the highchair in the kitchen when doing dishes or cooking and the playpen in the living room at times. Once my daughter got bigger she plays more with her big brother but I do include her in alot of what I am doing since she wants me so much. Hope this helps

[deleted account]

when are your school hours? when is her bedtime? Any chance you could do your homework after she is in bed? then you could play with her some after you get home, maybe before suppertime? where does she go when you are at school?

Erica - posted on 03/10/2010

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Not at all. If its not what she wants then she is screaming. I was told to try to just put her in her room and shut the door and make her play with her toys all by herself but she just screams and it breaks my heart. I need more opinions. That one isnt working

Jeni - posted on 03/10/2010

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wow! sounds like she gets quite the lil tantrum going :)

My little 1 is relativly self sufficient, i have a lil set up in the lounge of a blanket to sit on and a few toys scattered round that he can reach and play with (he doesnt crawl yet)

Would she sit near you and play while you are studying or even tell her you can play for 10min or so and then mummy has to do something important but when you finished you can play again?

or set up a playtime at the same time everyday?

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