just going to have a little vent.....please feel free to have your turn!!

Sal - posted on 07/18/2011 ( 18 moms have responded )

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why please tell me why women (esp sahm) can work through almost everything yet a man needs a day off for a cold......my hubby (who is really thoughtful and wonderful, blah blah blah) has no concept of pain, i have for the past 3 or 4 days been suffering from a little gout attack during this time i drove a couple of hundred km to pick up my son, took a child to the dentist (both days my hubby was on days off) he stayed home with the little ones so did help. but when i got home i had to get the washing orgainised, finish the kids dinner, vaccum, bath and put kids to bed.....and he thought he helped!!!!!!!! he will kindly say, no you rest i'll do that (feed kids or what ever) but for a smart man he can't work out that if the kids are in bed by 6pm dinner and baths are really getting done around 4-5, yet 5 when he took our eldest to work i had to bath and feed the little ones as they were falling asleep, whe he got home and i was done, he said, "oh i was going to do that" yeah but you didn;t!!!!!! thats all really, just getting it off my chest!!!

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Melanii - posted on 07/25/2011

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Love this post, so much rings true! Both my hubby and I, plus the two and a half year old and the ten month old have bad colds at the moment. Hubby tells me he has to "listen to his body", which apparently means sitting on his ass for hours. It just confirmed for me that men truly are weaker than women - this should make us feel better, right? Mums need medals, we get sick and just keep going and going, but you know what I did today while he was out and the kids were finally asleep? I READ A BOOK. I really did! And you know what? The laundry and the dishes and the cleaning were still there when I was done. Sure, I only took half an hour "off", but damn it felt good! I might do it again tomorrow... BTW, hubby does help with the kids and housework, somewhat, but then again he isn't working so he can see what I do all day. I can't wait until he gets a job, it's one less child to run around after!

Michelle - posted on 07/20/2011

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I know how you feel. My 7 month old And I were sick all weekend. Somehow I still ended up taking care of all 3 kids, all the cleaning, and all the errands. My husband had things he wanted to take care of this weekend or so he said. He did try to help with the older two but he never knows what to feed them or where to find anything they need. At one point I was spending more time getting him the things he needed to "help" then it would have been doing it myself but I was trying to be grateful and let it go. At one point my husband mentioned I should go to the doctor at which point I asked if he would watch the kids so I could. I was promptly informed that he had too much to do and I needed to figure out what to do with the kids myself and went on to say it shouldn't be a big deal to take them with me. Yeah sure no problem except for the minor detail that we have 3 kids 3 and under. Great idea right. Needless to say I didn't even get a 10 minute nap this weekend and he got to spend the weekend doing his radio stuff. If he tells me that "we" have kids now and "we" just have to suck it up and keep going when we're sick sometimes (coming from the man that spends 2 days in bed every time he sneezes practically) I'm going to scream. I haven't had an hour off much less a day off (and I get migraines on top of the usual stuff that goes around) no matter how I'm feeling. I love the man and he's not a complete jerk or anything. Just really clueless about such things.

Stacie - posted on 07/20/2011

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My boyfriend thinks that he has the answer for everything. I cannot just vent to him without him trying to give me what he thinks is a obvious answer to a problem. I was explaining to him that our 2 years old tantrums are overwhelming me and I don't know what else to do. He suggested to take her a block down the street to play with the neighbors sons. Has anyone here had any desire to drag a kicking and screaming two year old down the street to play or to even have the psychic ability to see that a tantrum is about to turn into a meltdown?

Te - posted on 07/20/2011

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Haha, its funny how men seem like they are all the same way inclined, reading these conversations sounds the same as my hubby, we've had to have a talk when I have had to tell him that my role SaHM is 24/7 that even though he goes to work I also go to work yet when he comes home I am still working right up till the kids go to sleep, therefore I need help with their daily routines, bath, dinner, sleep time and tidy the house when he gets home. He was doing it at times before but not consistently, I told him that he gets more Me time than me and sometimes his Me time can go on more than the time he spends with our babies and that it wasn't fair and that frankly I need some help. So now he is consistenly doing sleep times and chipping in on the daily routines of our babies, which is awesome. I believe it helps to have that communication open and at times frank, we had my sister listen to both sides to mediate between us and give us her feed back, that helped heaps to not let the communication get to over heated and to stick with the bigger picture and that was the love and guidance of our children. I feel our roles as parents are now balanced, yaye!!.

Katherine - posted on 07/19/2011

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You need to make a chore list I swear. His responsibilities and yours.

Sal - posted on 07/19/2011

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and also checking what time frame my hubby was working on is also a smart move...just because i think picking the kids up at 3 is the right time or that the washing should be hung out during the daylight hours doesn;t nessersarily mean it is the only time it can be done!!! lol

Sal - posted on 07/19/2011

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we really only have ourselves to blames for such silly little mix ups though....like when i amsick and doing something trival (like cook dinner or do washing or pick the kids up from school) and my husband says "don't worry I'll do it" i really should check what "it" actually refers to, to just assume it is the task i was struggleing with is just plain silly!!!! lol

Stifler's - posted on 07/19/2011

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bahahaha yeah. i vacuum in the morning and he's like WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU VACUUMED since um in the 9 hours since I vacuumed my kid has eaten, drooled, thrown things, eaten some more...

Sal - posted on 07/19/2011

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his most common statement is "oh i could of done that for you!!!!!" yes but you didn't....like katherins said evrything needs to be spelled out specifcally and every single time, he just dosn;t get that things need to be done daily, often many times a day, he will say "oh i mopped the kitchen while you were out" like it is some amazing feet and he now deserves all the favours i can muster, and when i say i only mopped it yesterday he looks at me likke i'm a liar as the floor coudn;t of been cleaned this century, and how did i manage to get such an amazing task done while the kids were home (he does shift work so is home odd times during the day)

Katherine - posted on 07/19/2011

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Men are just wired so differently. Is amazing how you have to spell everything out.

Stifler's - posted on 07/19/2011

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I know right I wonder where his brains are sometimes. I get up every other night and I'm not like OHH SOMEONE ELSE DO IT when I hear them in the morning. Well I am but I don't literally call him to come home and do it.

Katherine - posted on 07/19/2011

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Mine used to complain about being tired too, it's like you have no CONCEPT of what tired IS!!!!
Try getting 2 hours of sleep and functioning on that while taking care of a newborn and toddler-you ass.

Stifler's - posted on 07/19/2011

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oh my husband gets up on saturday nights but he's always up for like 3 hours feeding ONE baby seriously! it takes me 45 minutes max to change, feed and burp her and put her back down. then he's like oh babe you'll have to get up i'm just too tired i was up all night and i'm just like Hahahahahahhahahahahahh and kick him out of the bed.

Jennifer - posted on 07/19/2011

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I feel the pain! I've actually ran to the bathroom, got sick, came out to lay on the couch and my hubby (who knew what happened) will look at me and say "so, what are we going to do for supper?" It's just men. They are our biggest babies, no matter how old they get. lol I've also been so weak, but of course caring for our infant at the time, and she had a messy diaper, and all he would offer, was to carry her to the changing table for me so I could change her. Of course when he's sick, the world is surely comming to an end, and he needs waited on hand and foot.

Tyrae - posted on 07/19/2011

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My hubby is the same way. I'm pretty sure damn near 100% of them are. It annoys me. For instance right now I'm 6 weeks pregnant, have a serious sinus cold, and trying to deal with a bout of nasty morning sickness, but I'm up at 7 am with our 8 month old daughter, and on the weekends he's in bed till noon. Seriously, I would love to be able to sleep in one day while sick, but nope, waking up 6-7 times a night with my daughter definitely doesn't help either. He sleeps through her crying, and she sleeps IN our room in her crib. How can you sleep through that???!!?!?! He also doesn't change the diapers (another thing that makes me vomit atm) or clean the kitty litter box... actually now that I think of it he HAS to do that! BAHAHA Awesome for getting preggers again. Yeah...

Men seem to think that being a SAHM means that we get every day off and that we don't "work" at all. Just because we aren't bringing in household income doesn't mean we aren't working our asses off 24/7. One day I swear I'm going to leave him with the our kids and take the day off. See how he likes it :P

User - posted on 07/19/2011

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My husbands puts himself on bed rest for a headache. He missed my birthday dinner with my mom (whom he hates) for a tummy ache and still haad the nerve to text me to bring him leftovers!!

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I totally agree. But this is why we carry babies. If a small cold can get a man down, I would hate to see a pregnant man. The population would have stopped after the first pregnancy. reminds me...when I was 8 mos pregnant with my second child we had a very bad storm that knocked down trees. One tree, nothing big just had a lot of branches, had fallen in the middle of our driveway. So I would have to park behind it ,crawl over with my oldest daughter. Hubby told me he had to get the chainsaw to remove it. After the second day of crawling over it, I grabbed one end and pulled it about thirty feet from the driveway. My neighbor was watching me in shock. In fact I think hes scared of me . Lol. I havent let my hubby live that down :)

Stifler's - posted on 07/18/2011

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my husband is an idiot he's like if you feel sick just do nothing and lie on the couch. i'm sure my newborn and 18 month old will appreciate me lying around all day.

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