just need to vent....

LeahDawn - posted on 04/13/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am soo pissed right now at my husband! We have talked about school and me going online. Well my dad needs to finsih his degree and so I said why don't you do it with me. Well in order for him to do that he would need a computer so I figured since we need a new desktop anyways we'd get a new one and my dad could use that. So I said so to my husband and asked what he thought. Well he blew up about my dad always being at the house. I said " your asleep. Why do you care?" He said "he's here when I go to sleep and when I wake up." But he isn't here now. That didn't make a difference. "It is what one day out of weeks!" My husband doesn't understand! A) MY dad is out of work and depressed that he can't find anything and B) I need some adult conversation and with him asleep, my dad gives that to me. I hate it! Why can't he understand that I need my dad here. I am so frustrated and on top of it all he wants to have another child. What will I do then if my dad isn't here? who will help me and talk to me? Not him cause he HAS to sleep so we have a life. I just want to give up and just not do school and tell my dad to stay home. I just want eveything to be fine and good.

3 Comments

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Allison - posted on 04/14/2010

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Ok ok
you both have valid points. I had a similar situation a few years ago. My dudes best friend and his girl broke up and then he was over at my house every day. It's good to be there to help and support one another but at some point enough is enough. You can't have an extra person around ALL THE TIME. It's sweet that you have such a good relationship with your pa, but you also have a relationship with your partner, and sometimes his opinion matters. If he's feeling crowded then perhaps you could get out and go to your dads for the afternoon. Or to a park. so your husband can walk around in his underwear and scratch his balls sometimes. . . (we all kow thats what this is all about) Guys are territorial, whether its a friend or a parent they don't like having someone constantly around. I see your point TOTALLY I'm a stay at home momma of 3, Adult conversation is necessary, but every day all day at the expense of your relationship (you tell me) I think maybe you and your dad could both benifit from getting out and maybe doing a course or 2 away from the house. I know you're looking for some sort of validation here but i can't give it to you completley. . . I think it's awesome that you're furthering your education, and you dad too. . . (thats fucking golden) but I've been in your husbands shoes before and they're uncomfortable.

BALANCE is the key LeahDawn for all of you.

Your man doesn't mind dad being there once in a while, a couple times a week. . . but every day is tooooooooo much deary seek balance talk to your husband and see if you can reach some sort of agreement otherwise you'll have a degree and a great job but a shit marriage.

good luck.

Monique - posted on 04/14/2010

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My husband took a full time job after I started school and now works almost all day! I have the baby 24/7, and when he finally gets home, he is too tired to be of any help. I have started staying up at night when everyone else is asleep to do homework, and I call people on the phone when I need to hear adult conversation. Your husband should understand that you and your dad are helping each other out and you should not have to stop going to school, or tell him to stay at home. That won't make everything fine and good with you, your husband will just get his way and you'll be miserable.

Sam - posted on 04/13/2010

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Oh i am so there with you. I get a why should i get up with the kids? you dont work you dont need to sleep in. Wait a minute i am soooo sure that my job doesnt end when i walk through the door, mine is a 24/7 job and i dont get the days off or anything like that. Why should he have to help with the kids when he works all wk so when he comes home for the wkend all he wants to do is lay around watching tv or napping or hanging out with the boys. I wish for once he would trade places with me and understand what i go through in a day let alone in a week.

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