just quit my job to be a sahm.

Jennifer - posted on 05/20/2012 ( 18 moms have responded )

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I am an expectant mom I'm due next month and i decided it would be best to quit my job and be with my baby full time. I am use to working all the time and now that Im not, I am second guessing whether i can handle being at home all the time. How did you all adjust going from work to being a sahm?

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[deleted account]

It took me Three tries to get the SAHM thing down....I kept chickening out and going back to work, but I hated that too. Eventually, I figured it all out and have been very happy as a sahm for the past 4 years.

Here are my tips.
Treat your parental responsibilities with the same respect you treated your career--wake up, get dressed, set goals, and move about to accomplish them. If you just float about from one identical day of changing nappies and feeding baby to the next with no ambition, you will get bored, burnt out, and be completely unfulfilled, which will lead to you resenting your decision to stay home--which suck for both you and your little family.

Don't make your schedule so strict that it throws off your whole day if your child falls off of it. I make a loose schedule every week, and every day. I look at our set engagements--dr. appointments, practices, sports, etc, that must happen at a set time and cannot be moved--then I arrange the more flexible activities around them--such as chores, shopping trips, play dates, etc.

Get out of the house--I try to arrange a social activity for both myself and my child at least once a day. Of course, when they are infants, you don't need to focus on socializing them, but still plan something to get yourself out and about.

If you don't have anything to do, VOLUNTEER!!!!!!! The world is in desperate need of volunteers in almost every way. I cannot stand to hear people say they are bored and have nothing to do because I know that almost every charitable organization in the world is desperate for help. Find something that suits your strengths and interests--you can organize an ad campaign, stuff envelopes, deliver meals to shut ins, spoon soup for the poor, cook soup for the poor, pack or cook meals for shut-ins, organize a fundraiser, sell tickets to a gala, create a piece of art for a silent auction, manage a silent auction, answer phones, tutor adult learners, read books to displaced kids, collect supplies for shelters, man a collection booth, be on the decorating committee for charity dinners and galas, design and upkeep a website for a charity, help build a house, review and revise resumes for job seekers, help build a set for a play--there is something for EVERYONE! Sometimes sahm's feel they are not contributing to society, volunteering can help the to feel the value they had when they had paying jobs. It is very important to remember that we all have value.

Beth - posted on 05/27/2012

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I became a SAHM because I got laid off when the economy first went south back in 2008, so it wasn't exactly a choice I made for myself, but I've stuck with it because I've found it to be mostly enjoyable and I can see a lot of benefits in it for the children. It's an adjustment at first, especially when the baby is very small. At one point, I was driving to the local mall every day, just so we could be out in public and I could walk around a bit. Eventually, I went to some new mom groups and met some great mom friends in my neighborhood and I settled into life as a SAHM. You learn to fill your less busy days with trips to the library or park, and you learn how to get through your busier days with baby in tow. You will find your own rhythm. There will be difficult days, there just will be, no use in me sugar coating it for you. But, you survive. Moms are so much stronger and more capable than they give themselves credit for. And please, please, please don't let anyone make you feel bad or stupid or lazy for being a SAHM. It's a perfectly valid choice, and as long as you and your family are happy, it doesn't matter what others think.

Kelina - posted on 05/21/2012

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I got so bored the last few months of my pregnancy with my first-puzzles were my salvation. I did dozens of them cooped up in my house(it was winter and I couldn't walk anywhere-the hill we lived on was too treacherous). Once my son came, it was difficult too. It's difficult to adjust to being a mom, it's difficult to adjust to not working, but it's so worth it. I found it really hard because TV lies so much lol. Yes, once baby is crawling and getting into things it gets harder to keep up with them, but at first it's a little difficult because all that work is kind of stationary and repetitive, using a lot of muscles that don't want to be used over and over and over again. Especially when you're exhausted. But it gets easier and there are little rewards. The smiles, the things they learn to do. The first time they say "I love you" or prove you right by bashing daddy over the head with a toy. It's not easy but it's definitely worth it.

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Erin - posted on 06/08/2012

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First congrats on baby and congrats on choosing to stay at home with you baby! If it's your first baby you may feel trapped in the house sometimes, depressed etc, but remember this is NORMAL and you are not alone. I suggest if you have friends or family that can help you take time to get out of the house, take the baby out of the house, they are not as fragile as we worry they are. A newborn isn't gonna play at the park by any means but just take the baby and you on a walk for a few minutes a day or so. Just remember to take a big bag of stuff with :)

Susan - posted on 06/03/2012

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You will either love it or count the days till kindergarten. It is a whole lot harder than going to work.

User - posted on 05/30/2012

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Just make sure you have something that is just YOU so that you don't have to be mommy 24/7 like a class, or I go to the library to work on my business, etc. I make sure that I don't get sick of being at home. Also it's good to do something you enjoy to feel like you're still you!

Jessi - posted on 05/30/2012

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I AGREE!

"Treat your parental responsibilities with the same respect you treated your career--wake up, get dressed, set goals, and move about to accomplish them. If you just float about from one identical day of changing nappies and feeding baby to the next with no ambition, you will get bored, burnt out, and be completely unfulfilled, which will lead to you resenting your decision to stay home--which suck for both you and your little family. "


I just started staying home a month ago, today. My last day at work was April 30. I have a 6 year old and a two year old. We find plenty to do right now. I now tell people I work as a Domestic Engineer. It is fun, I also joke about work injuries and things like that. My first work injury at my new job was a burn on my arm, from making cookies. We just stay busy. I have projects that I wanted to do while I was home, and keep finding new ones. I still have two or three to do. We go to the park, visit friends, etc. With a baby, you can go for walks, also a good way to exercise post baby! You're lucky to be giving birth right before summer. My first was born in February and second in September so we couldn't enjoy the outside much when I was on leave.

You won't be bored with a baby. Right now, just enjoy the quiet and be lazy. If you are in your last month, you're probably getting uncomfortable and tired and just want to sit anyway. Enjoy it. When baby comes, you'll be so busy, you'll want someone there to help you!

Also think of it like this. I wanted to stay home ever since my first was born, but because of how our finances were, I couldn't until now. I missed out on my kids' babyhoods because of it. You're lucky to be able to enjoy it all!

Nancy - posted on 05/29/2012

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I know how it feels. When I left my job it was so hard and i really just wanted to go back to work and just felt i didn't know how to be a sahm. Honestly, it takes time and takes practice. I am now hitting my one year mark as a sahm n starting to love and enjoy it. I even had an opportunity to go back to a good job but I declined b/c I want to be there for my kids. You can always work anytime but you can never have the years back that your child was a baby or little. If you're blessed to be there for your child try and be there as much as possible. I was a working mom with my first child and I had alot of guilt about it b/c I really wanted to be there when she was sick or cranky and now I am there for both my kids. It takes time to adjust to it just give it some time until you get the hang of things and try to keep urself occupied. Join playgroups, classes, and make a social circle you can connect with. It's really important to not isolate yourself with you and the child all day its not good for you and them. Enjoy it and soon enough it will be time to go back to work. You have your whole life to be a working mom but a few years of having a baby/toddler years. Enjoy every moment

Rachel - posted on 05/29/2012

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I threw myself into my work. Im not really good with kids, or babies, so I began educating myself on my family. I now have a nine year degree in parenting. It still kinda feels like I'm just scratching the surface, and that I can still be rubbish, despite my personal investments, but mostly I'm very impressed with my new skillset. Eventually you will too.

[deleted account]

Don't revolve yourself around baby, you'll be bored! Plus babies want to watch what YOU do. Go on walks, find a hobby, read books, learn something useful to your family like sewing etc. Volunteering is a great idea too. Take baby with you in a carrier and you can get lots done.

Squeek_cowgirl - posted on 05/25/2012

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Start thinking about all the things you always wished you had time to do! Scrapbooking...sewing...knitting...crochetting... art? reading? writing? gardening? baking? cooking? There are TONS of things you can do to enjoy being at home! I have been at home now for 7 years with my three (ages 14, 10 and 4) and have had my moments of boredom... it's a hard transition at first! I LOVE having a bubble bath in the middle of the day! Sounds lazy right? lol Yeah right! I grab a good book and have ME time! It is NOT selfish to take care of yourself! Think about how lovely your life can be if you choose to fill your days with things you like to do!!!! You'll do fine! And your baby will be a better person because of your choice to make him/her a priority!

Edna - posted on 05/25/2012

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I fill my days with toddler groups and cheap/free days out, you make friends so your not alone all the time and it also alows your child to interact with other children.

Tammy - posted on 05/25/2012

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Start getting into a routine now and do your best to stick with it, especially after the baby is born. Don't set yourself up for failure by leaving all the house work for one or two days. Have a schedule including all house hold chores, like cleaning the bathroom, dishes, laundry(you might be doing at least one load of laundry everyday), tidying the living room,dusting, etc. do one or two tasks everyday and that will help a lot. Make sure that your significant other helps out too, and gives you some time for yourself everyday, even if it's just a half hour. It gives you time to relax and gather your thoughts and get your emotions in check (which is good for those days when you feel like screaming). Good luck.

Tammy - posted on 05/25/2012

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Start getting into a routine now and do your best to stick with it, especially after the baby is born. Don't set yourself up for failure by leaving all the house work for one or two days. Have a schedule including all house hold chores, like cleaning the bathroom, dishes, laundry(you might be doing at least one load of laundry everyday), tidying the living room,dusting, etc. do one or two tasks everyday and that will help a lot. Make sure that your significant other helps out too, and gives you some time for yourself everyday, even if it's just a half hour. It gives you time to relax and gather your thoughts and get your emotions in check (which is good for those days when you feel like screaming). Good luck.

Lynda - posted on 05/21/2012

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I worked for 25 years, had my son at 45. I quit my job to be a sahm and it's the best thing I have ever done. Nothing is more important than raising your child and there is nothing more rewarding than seeing that first smile, laugh, giggle, first steps, etc. I'm not a social butterfly but I love the company of my son. At 5 he sometimes wears me out but he's great company even on bad days (and there will be bad days, the good days get you through these). I don't miss my job, I did it for 25 years, gave up a lot for it and if I had to go back to work I would, but it would be out of necessity, not choice. I have tons to do here at home and I love supplementing my son's education while he is on summer break. Try to find a Mommy and me group with your church (if you are so inclined) or neighborhood mommies and their kids, playgrounds as they get older. You will have your hands full for the first year at least, that time will fly and once they become mobile, parks, zoos are great outings for you and baby. Have fun and relax when you can. Not working is not the end of the world and you are working. You have the most important job in the world, being mommy to your child. Enjoy it! They are not small that long.

Bonnie - posted on 05/21/2012

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You might be running out of things to do now, but believe me, once the baby comes, the first two years at least will be extremely busy. For the first while all you will be doing is feeding, changing, and tending to the baby to the point that you will be looking for more time to get things done. By the time they are 12-18 months they are walking and getting into everything. Even crawling earlier on, you have to be with them more often than not.

Jennifer - posted on 05/20/2012

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ya i am worried that im not going to like not working. im already running out of things to do and i havent had my baby yet

Stifler's - posted on 05/20/2012

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It was fun to be unemployed at the start now I'm starting to be a bit over it. Thinking of things to do with the kids is hard sometimes.

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