just told no more kids what should i do

Sarah - posted on 05/22/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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i have been very very sick since i had my first baby i lovelove her but im having a hard time being the mom that i want to be its very painful to hold her or pick her up i dont have the strength either and when i do pick her up its scary because if she moves i have the chance of droping her because i can not close my hands around her or rap my tight around her.i wish i could hold my baby with out pain or take care of her without the pain and the doctors cant find why im so sick and yet they told me i can not have more children do to the fact they are scared that it will get worse and maybe kill me.do i get my tubes tied or not they think lupus is back and worse.i was told i had lupus at 15 and it seemed to have gone in remission.but than i worry what if they find a cure i want more kids but what if i get pregnant again while on birth control like the last time i dont believe in abortions but i want to be in my daughters life as she grows and another child could kill me what would you do

6 Comments

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Christina - posted on 05/22/2010

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You could always get an IUD. They are extremely effective at preventing pregnancy, but if you get better you can have it removed. Your fertility should return as soon as it's removed. You can leave it in for several years if you need to. I think it might be a good option for you, since it's effective and easily reversible.

Sarah - posted on 05/22/2010

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im 20 years old i know its young and i have full life to live its just hard news to take on

Brandi - posted on 05/22/2010

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God has blessed you with one beautiful baby and maybe that is all He has planned for you. You don't say how old you are, but if having more children would cause you more pain, discomfort, or possibly death, what kind of mother could you be to your daughter or any other children that might come along?? You need to take care of you first or you wont be able to care for your children. If a cure is found soon, then you could adopt a baby. I think if I were you, I would probably have my tubes tied or have your husband get a vasectomy. If you want to be the best mom for your kids, you can't do that if you can't hold them or pick them up or if you aren't alive. Good luck and enjoy your baby :-)

Sarah - posted on 05/22/2010

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im just so worried of making the wrong choice and my husband and i dont have the money to untie or freeze sperm or eggs

Angie - posted on 05/22/2010

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Everyone is different Sarah. If it were me....I would wait because if I were in remission once, it could happen again. I would be very sure to use proper birth control. If the docs could tie my tubes...knowing they could untie them...I would most likely do it.
Take this time to get healed, strengthen yourself for the little girl you have now. Do everything you can to help relieve pain and fatigue.
I will be praying for you Sarah, for healing, strength, wisdom, and courage. Do not be discouraged, enjoy each and every moment you have with this little girl....if it is that one day you can have another child, then you can spend time thinking about that.
Have a beautiful new week.

Ashleigh - posted on 05/22/2010

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If I were you I would probably try to see if you husband would have a vasectomy but before he does freeze some sperm, that way you still have a plan b just in case they find a cure. I hope that helps, and I am hoping for a cure too!

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