Lack of sex drive?!

Ashleigh Jade - posted on 04/04/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Im a sahm of 3 under 5. Im busy cooking,cleaning,changing the baby,bathing them and etc during the day that at night i just want to sleep or watch tv. I just have no urges for sex anymore. Its been 6months.

Any advice?

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Genia - posted on 04/05/2011

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Some things that have helped for me in the past (I always have a low sex drive):

reading erotic literature early in the day so i can "store it up" for later with hubby, lol literotica.com is free

scheduling sex. I know it's not romantic, but if I have it set in my mind that we will be having sex on this day, then I won't be trying to get out of it, instead I'll be preparing for it. Even texting or emailing dh a slightly suggestive email, wearing sexy panties, etc, can help me get my anticipation up

Just do it. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood but I try anyways, and dh is usually able to "convince" me. Spend a long time on foreplay.

chart your cycle. I know that sounds funny, but after I started charting my cycle I noticed a pattern - sex was the most enjoyable for me (and by proxy, for dh) when I'm near ovulation! It makes sense from a biological standpoint. I know that when I'm close to ovulating, even if i'm tired, it usually won't take me as long to be "ready."

HTH!

Amber - posted on 04/04/2011

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I agree with chatting with your partner. He might be willing to help you out to get helped out in return.
Plus, they say that the longer the dry spell, the harder it is to get back into it. Sometimes, what it really takes is just doing it.
My SO and I had a bit of a dry spell and it kind of became obvious that we just needed to get to it. After the first couple times, everything came flooding back and now we're both excited for it and initiate it regularly.

Tameka - posted on 04/04/2011

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It's like everything in life: if it is important to you, you need to make time for it. It is not you who is just suffering either, your partner is too. Have a chat to him about how you feel and come to an agreement. Perhaps he can help out a bit more around the house and you can help out a bit more in bed.

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Bonnie - posted on 04/05/2011

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I agree with talking with your partner about it. He should probably be able to see how tired you are by the evening, but sometimes men need that hint. If he wants to have intimacy, he will do what it takes to have it with you.

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