lonely. love my sons but sure miss the man i fell in love with

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my husband and i lost our first son after many months in the icu. we were devastated. years later we had our son Patrick and he is healthy and wonderful! i am so lucky i am a stay at home mom but i sure hate that my husband throws it in my face by telling me get a job when iwant something or when u contribute is when u have a say. hasn't been intimate since our son passed. having our 2nd child was one of the vary rare times and if we are i basically have to beg. like we went a whole year and he said it was my attitude. so i went to therapy got medicated. then it was my weight. i lost 75lbs. and now he blames his problem on never getting over our son. we have been in mft for months. then my dad was in icu for months and i had to have him transferred to same hospital my son died at. while i was away he was talking to a single mother behind my back. when i asked him he lied straight to my face. and the whole time my dad was in icu he was talking to her constantly. he has sworn up and down he didn't have affair in counseling but he turned to her cause she listened and she told him how hard it is to b a single mother. and now its been a year and im still begging for intimacy he still blames his depression and is mad at me because im nosy. i said he has to earn that trust back. he says hes tired of me not trusting him and always says move out then. if our son wasn't here i would be gone but i feel trapped. i love my husband and my son and i dont want to feel miserable anymore. his depression makes random thoughts and trust issues in me because if hes not intimate w me then i think hes w someone else. he says he has no desire for it. even had hormone levels tested. now he likes to blame my trust and lonely...

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Jessika - posted on 11/11/2012

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Well for one, communication is always key. I know it's easier said than done, but it does need to be done. Of course times are going to be hard for you two. I couldnt imagine losing my son, it would totally change me. Im guessing your husband is just in a state of confusion and panic, he doesnt know what to do. But he should relate to you & work through any kind of problems. if hes not cheating, he shouldnt get defensive or mad that you have trust issues, especially if hes giving you reason. And it is hard being a stay at home mom, not able to go out and make your own money and buy your own things, but what are you supposed to do? your raising a child.. my advice, is to maybe work through it another month or two, try to communicate those feelings if nothing works. might be time to think of other options? IDK. Wish the best for you and your family.

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