Loosin it! an feelin guilty

Jennifer - posted on 12/15/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I'm a stay at home mom. My son is almost 15 months old. i love being at home with him. not missing anytthing he does. But I feel a little guilty that im not working and that my husband has all of that on his shoulders. im seeing a therapist, she told me that a sahm has been compared to having 2 full time jobs, your always on the go. But i still feel guilty. any ideas on how to get past this. Im trying to find work but no such luck yet. Help me out please.

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Jennifer - posted on 12/18/2009

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Thank you all for your help. I have talked to my husband he can be understanding most of the time, but others he just tries to send me on a guilt trip. we are doing much better tho. I started the therapy because i was suffering from really bad PPd. i was really affraid that i was going to hurt my baby. Im doing really good now. Again thank you everyone for all your help. it's really great getting another point of view.

Crystal - posted on 12/16/2009

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Just think of the amazing upbringing your little one is getting and the relationship you are making with him. I think every mother should be a SAHM if they can afford it. Your little one is very lucky that you have sacrificed yourself as you knew it, working independent woman, to give yourself to his upbringing and guide his little soul..

If you want to go back to work for yourself then go ahead and do it, if it is a financial requirement then by all means do what you need to do for your family, but if you are going back out of financial guilt then try and let it go and see a bigger picture.. your responsibilities at home far far far outweigh any monetary value..

Perhaps look at working part time, then you can have the best of both worlds? You will not be helping your son by worrying about money, coz then you are not being present with him and that is all he needs.. if you are seeing the therapist purely out of the guilt of your current position, then let go and there is a little more money saved too!

Don't underestimate the value of you being at home to bring up your son..

Dusty - posted on 12/16/2009

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you know i had this problem to i went form working to sahm and it was hard i am use to making money of my own and this is what i did i talked to my hubby and was told he rather have me stay home then some one else getting to see our kids grow up.that was enough for me. he knows that i do worry about him working and only having one income but he said as long as ther is food on the table and the kids and us are happy then it is all worth it so just talk to him and let him know that is all you can do

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yes talk to hubby.. dont feel guilty at all though.. my husband travels a lot for work and we tell each other a lot how much we appreciate each others jobs.. and my husband has stayed home with our boys a lone for a day and i mean like afternoon.. and the children are fine and alive but house is disaster lol.. which is ok.. but i think being a sahm women are better at multitasking for long periods of time.. my husband has said that as well.. he doesnt even do that many tasks at once for work and he works very hard for our livelihood.. and dont sell yourself short jennifer, ur raising childrean and keeping house.. huge resposibility

Rachel - posted on 12/15/2009

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How does your husband feel about it? Maybe he's completely on board with you staying home and is ok with the extra responsibility he's taken on. If he's feeling like you are, maybe you can try to find something like the job that I have. I work part-time at our YMCA in the child care. It's the absolute best job I could ask to find as a sahm because I can bring my kids with me! I don't miss out on anything they do, they get a chance to get out of the house and socialize (and so do I), and I bring in a little extra cash flow. Good luck with whatever you decide, but I would suggest filling your husband in on how you're feeling and see what he has to say (if you haven't already).

Jennifer - posted on 12/15/2009

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I started out as a Stay at Home mom .Still am .But, i felt the same way too for a while.My son is 5 months now and so i started working from home to help out.I work part-time with a team of moms.We all can relate to eachother!

Amanda - posted on 12/15/2009

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i feel the same way sometimes but being a SAHM is a full time job. i have ten month old twins and everyday i make a list of things to do just to keep my house running smoothly its amazing what one person can get done in a day and every now and then when ever im feeling like this i get my husband to do what i do (or at lease he does his best) he takes the kids and all the house hold responsibilities and i get to have a day to myself. even if it is spent doing the groceries, buying the kids and my husband clothes, restocking all the toiletries. and when i come home the babies are in bed hes asleep at the dinningroom table and the house is a mess. it just helps to know your needed.

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