Lost my pregnancy!!!

Loni - posted on 01/14/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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It is very hard to deal with this..
I know i have 2 wonderful beautiful boys right now..
But loosing my pregnancy is very hard i was 2 months along.
I am trying to not let it affect because i am a mom to 2 tots and dont want them to be be upset also.My 4 year old keeps asking me mommy when is baby sister coming out of your belly and be with us? My soon to be 2 year old dosnt know i was pregnant but my 4 year old dos.
My hubby told me to just tell him that Jesus said we have to wait for a while longer for sister and that she well be with him while we wait..It is so hard not to cry and hard when my 4 year old ask s when can he see her here at home..I am a 29 yr old mom of 2 tot boys and need your wise and encouragement to calm my nerves..

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Loni, first off let me give my sincere sympathy! I, too, have lost a few pregnancies so I feel your pain! I have never had it easy in this dept. My first pregnancy was lost as soon as I found out I was pregnant. The second pregnancy, I delivered at 26 weeks, my daughter weighed 1.2lbs (she survived and is a thriving 5 y/o now) My 3rd pregnancy was lost in a tubal pregnancy, my 4 was twins. I made it 20 weeks and went into labor. They could not stop the labor and I delivered a girl and boy. Needless to say they did not survive, they weighed 10 and 11oz! I held them in my arms before I had to cremete(spelling) them! My 5th and final pregnancy was twins again. God gave me back my twins... I delivered them in Oct. 2009 at 30 weeks. I was on bedrest for my entire pregnancy, did everything the doctor said and was devistated when I went into labor. I had delivered my first set of twins that Jan. (09) and OMGoodness I felt like it was happening again! So I've been where you are now and I can only say it takes time and faith in God! I dont know why he took my babies from me, my daughter kept asking me were the babies still in my belly and where were the babies. But God had a reason. I feel that Jayden and Jazmyne were never mine in the first place, they were God's and he chose me to carry them for him b/c he knew I was a strong woman and I could handle/eventually understand his reasoning. Just know that your child is with God and maybe playing with mine ;-) I am sending you a virtual hug and my prayers are with you. Please be strong and know God is in control! God Bless you!

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Alicia - posted on 01/19/2010

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I am so sorry. I know your pain too well (lost 3 babies in 2009) and it is so hard. I have found a lot of support form online groups. The ones in Circle of Moms are not very well established, but BabyCenter.com has many groups for pregnancy loss. It is nice to have a community that really knows what you are feeling. The most important thing to remember is that the grieving process takes time and you should not feel rushed. It is okay to cry. It is okay for your kids to see you cry. You might find in time that they are a big part of your healing process...as you continue to explain to them what has happened and answer their question, you might also come to understand, accept, process it more. I wish there were magic words to make you feel better...all I can say is that while it doesn't seem like it in the beginning, you will come to terms with your loss and each day is a big milestone to coping and accepting what has happened.

Heather - posted on 01/19/2010

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I have one son and he was two when I had my first misscariage and then I had another one about five months later. He is now three and I have not gotten pregnant again which is frustrating. I really wanted my kids to be close in age. But I am just going with the flow right now. My son somehow knew that I was pregnant. I guess they can just sense it. I just told him that the baby was gone and went to be with God. So then whenever he looked at my stomach he would say baby gone. instead of baby in their. It was especially hard because I had a lot of friends and a sister in law who were all do around the same time I was. To help me find closure I named my baby. I was not sure of the sex. I was only 11 weeks. My husband thought it was a little weird. But it really helped me. I gave my baby a unisex name and my Mom made a special card for me. With an angel on the front and the babies name and a prayer inside. After my second loss, I added another name to the card. I just felt better that my baby had a name. It does get better with time.

Jessica - posted on 01/19/2010

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Hi Loni



I am so so sorry for your loss. I went through it too just over a year ago - I was 3 months along and it absolutely devastated me. I dont think the heartache ever really goes away, but it does get easier over time. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. Like you, I also had two beautiful boys and their love and smiles are what got me through it. At the time I vowed that I would not try again for another baby because I did not want to ever go through that loss again. Thankfully, God took that decision out of my hands and after a terrifying pregnancy, I now have another beautiful boy of 4 months. I pray that God eases your pain during this time. You will be in my thoughts and prayers!!

Jackie - posted on 01/14/2010

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I have been where you are. I was 25 when I lost mine my boys were 4 and 5. The hardest thing was telling those boys we told them that GOD needed our baby more than mommy and daddy. They had already experienced me dealing with the death of my BFF's 5 month old daughter, so we said that GOD wanted her to have a friend and that we would meet our baby when GOD was ready for us to be with him/her. I would lock myself in the bath room have my cry and try to do the best i could for them. It was very hard for me to move on and I honestly think about it all the time. But it will get easier for you and GOD will give you another baby. I was blessed with two more it seemed like it took me forever to get pregnant with my daughter I had her in '07 it was the hardest pregnancy I was so scared about everything. Just keep your head up high and be there for your sons you are in my prayers.

Ali - posted on 01/14/2010

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I know how you feel it has been a yr for me when I lost my baby I was three months along when it happen. I love my son and he's my world but its still hard dealing with the loss of the other. it's easier said then done to move past something like that. like I said its been a yr for me and I have not moved past it and it stays on my mind a lot I only hope it don't effect me from having any others bc me and my husband do want more but r still worried of the out come. Just don't want to go through that kind of feeling again. sorry for u're loss and u will be in my prays every night.

Renee - posted on 01/14/2010

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(((hugs))) It isn't easy. Sit and cry when you need to. When you are done get back up and play with your boys. They need their momma to be happy and healthy! I have lost two and it is hard. I love all my kids. I know that my kids on earth need me more then I need to be sad so I remain strong for them.
Stay strong. Enjoy your boys.

Leni - posted on 01/14/2010

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I am so sorry for your loss. I have been there too and it really just takes time to get over, Mine happened 2 years ago and even now it still hurts. Your hubby is right, thats probably the best way to tell a child, You need to grieve, thats actually good, keeps you from being depressed. (In my opinion anyway) Focus on your hubby and 2 boys. it will get easier and when its time, God will give you another wonderful gift! I will keep you in my prayers!

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