Love my hubby!

Christin - posted on 03/29/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I've been hearing and reading so much about husbands who aren't there for their homemaking wives, and I just needed to post a quick something in hopes of balancing the sides.

First off, I understand the frustration when your hubby won't get up with a crying child. I understand when your man won't change a diaper. And I understand when, after you've spent the whole day spending your entire stock of energy, your hubby comes home, eats dinner and then vegges in front of the TV or computer. HOWEVER.

I was able to have a wonderful conversation with my darling very early on, communicating that I needed a little bit of 'me' time, and that I didn't feel appreciated for what I put into our family and household. What I didn't realize is that he didn't feel entirely appreciated for what he did to provide for us! Not to mention the fact that he felt a bit lost in the midst of everything house and baby.

But we were able to come to a schedule that worked for us both. I understood that he is our provider and works very hard to bring in a paycheck every month and, as he must leave for work very early, it's only fair that I be the primary 'getter-upper' at night. However, once he comes home and takes a shower, he takes care of the baby and our home while I spend an hour or so doing whatever: going to the gym, taking a walk, shopping without a baby (!), or just putting on makeup! On top of that, we figured out our budget and determined what we could put toward hiring a helper for chores around the house. My hubby decided that a happy wife = a happy life and that my time as a mommy was worth whatever it took to keep me sane concerning household chores. In addition, we now have a date night every other week and he is in charge of making sure the baby is looked after (even down to packing the diaper bag!).

It was amazing how a little bit of humble honesty changed our perspectives on our roles! So, I guess what I want to say is that people can change, but sometimes that means we have to be willing to change first(!) and not all husbands are clueless and lazy. Oh, and a humble attitude goes a long way... and when you have a happy home life is good... and bed time is great!

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Heather - posted on 06/07/2009

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i was a sngle stay at home mum and i am now living with my boyfriend whom i have been with 6 months , whom with persistance has bonded beautifully with my daughter, i feel very blessed to have him in our lives, he treats us like princesses and he works 14 hr days, we have our struggles sometimes coz i struggle to be dependant up on him but im sure that we will find a way through this.:)

Chrissy - posted on 04/01/2009

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This thread is way over due and very much called for! Thanks for all the stories =) While I do agree that us women need a bit of 'venting' time, it gets a little much when thread after thread it's completely negative and not really constructive to constantly be 'man bashing'!



We all have one thing in common on this board...we all stay home with our kids. We wouldn't be able to do that without the support of our husbands. When you do get frusterated and upset with him, take a quick second and just think how different your

life would be if you were a single mom (been there, done that!) or if your husband valued possessions more than your desire to stay home and really wanted you to work outside the home! I'm so grateful that I have a husband that see's the true benefit of making sure our kids are raised by mommy and daddy and not babysitter/preschools, etc. My husband is a fantastic dad and step dad... just tonight he got home from work, grilled us some hamburgers and is right now playing with our 6 year old until bed time. He hasn't had one minute yet for himself and won't until all the chuckleheads are in bed.



Now if I could just get him to actually change the toilet paper roll when it's empty and he'd be PERFECT!!! *wink* couldn't resist, ladies! hehehehe!!

Elizabeth - posted on 04/01/2009

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It is so wonderful to hear these stories!!



I too have a very supportive husband.  He can understand what I do and he has to kick me out of the house so that I can have some ME time!  He also does some cooking and helps with the house chores!  We have a partnership and it is great!  My husband is a wonderful man.  I couldn't have picked a better man to be the father of my children!  He does a really good job taking care of me and our kids!

April - posted on 04/01/2009

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my hubby actually thanked me recently for "babying him" when he was sick with the cold and flu-he tells me I'm the best wife and mom regularly, who doesnt love that!!!!

Holly - posted on 03/31/2009

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My husband is fantastic also. He works 12hour days so i can stay home with our two children. When he comes home he always comes in for hugs and kisses before anything else. Occasionally he will even make dinner when he gets home. After dinner he plays with the kids and me it's our family time. He always puts our 3year old to bed, thats their time. At night I go to bed and he feeds our 7month old her last bottle, my husband is a night owl. He will even get up with her, if she wakes during the night, which happens occasionally. He says that I need my sleep because I have to spend all day with them alone, without any breaks, and he has breaks and a lunch to himself. Somedays he comes home and he house is a mess and all he says is are you and the kids happy and healthy because thats all that matters. On the weekends he does his share of the housework. My hubby is great

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Oh Thank You for starting this topic!  Some times I felt like I was so spoiled and an exception from the normal SAHM out there since I think my husband is so wonderful!  I felt like if I said anything I would be bragging about my great man while everyone else was complianing.



We have 3 little ones and our 4th due in Sept.  Every weekend since finding out I was preggers my hubby has let me sleep in for as long as I need to.  We share all the chores and the kids bedtime and it is just such a relief to know he will be there for me.  The first thing he does when he comes in the door is to give everyone hugs and ask how their day was, including me, and then he plays with the kids so I can make dinner in peace.



I asked him once why and all he said was that I take such good care of him that it was his way of saying thank you.



Now I must admit he has not always been perfect but we have had many conversations over the years and we each have been honest about what we've needed and worked out ways for us all to be happy.



So thanks again and blessing to all of you wonderful women and your marvelous men :o)



 

Ashley - posted on 03/31/2009

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I love my husband and the wonderful things he does to lighten my load. After his full day of work, in construction, he comes home and cooks us supper. He plays with our son and makes sure Aston is happy and gets a large amout of daddy time. He also is the one who does bath time so I can clean up after supper and the busy day me and my son had. He never nags me about the house, and even some weekends does the dishes. Until recently due to some mistakes he made he was unable to drive. But now that he can he takes our son for trips so I can have the house to myself, something I haven't had since before our son was born. I appreciate him everyday and am so glad that he apprecitates me. Even though there are times I get frustrated (when baby is up for the third time ect. and he rolls over) I remember that I am lucky cuz come saturday morning I will get  to sleep in while he gets our son breakfast and dressed.

Kylie - posted on 03/30/2009

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I think mums should encourage the father of their young ones to take an active roll at home.. those men who believe its “women’s work” are really missing out on forming the strong ties with the kids and impressing their other halves. My husband gets home from work and actually enjoys helping me with the shopping if we need to go, most afternoons he will play with our 4 yr old, tidy up the back yard, clean the kitchen after dinner, bath our daughter, get her ready for bed and read her 2 books. He does this so I can focus on our new baby and I’m a much happier wife and Mummy. I really appreciate it and it shows me that he knows how hard I work during the day as well and once the kids are asleep we can both unwind. Bedtime is certainly great when your not completely exhausted by the end of the day. Hooray for lovely HubbiesJ

April - posted on 03/30/2009

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thank you for that! so uplifting! my husband is also wonderful about putting his family first-the biggest obstacle I face is that when I'm frustrated at the end of the day, its easy to get resentful at him for relaxing because "he was gone all day and talked to grown ups and etc..) BUT, once I remind myself that he works very hard also, and deserves a break as much as I do, its easy to remember how blessed I am to have him. He makes me WANT to do nice things for him, he remembers little things about me and others that we really appreciate, and the first thing he does when he gets home is run to me and the 5 kids and snuggle a bit. the housework thing is not the biggest deal in the world, it just seems like it sometimes. but asking nicely goes a long way " mike, when youre finished with that show, would you please help me get the room cleaned/make dinner/take out trash? so I can take a time out and shower/check email?" when he does it, I THANK HIM-because he is trying to do it all too! and I know he cares how i'm doing, he told me once- " I really am not worried about the housework, if the kids are healthy and you are healthy and happy, I'm happy-noone ever looks back and wishes they had done more housework!" this morning, woke up to a pre made pot of coffee and the dishwasher loaded and running, yesterday, rainy gross, he went out and took the trash/recycling out so I wouldnt have to. I am so thankful for him! thanks for the reminder!

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