Love my husband...HATE sex and I don't want to be touched!

Brie - posted on 01/25/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




I don't know what to do. I've never really liked or enjoyed sex. On a rare occasion ill get into it and we have a lot of fun but that hasn't happened in months.
I'm only 21 and I haven't been abused or molested and my husband has never hurt or harmed me or made me feel insignificant. I feel bad because he constantly wants sex and i just keep pushing him away. It's like a chore and it bores me. It's so hard to even somewhat orgasm (which are not all that great either... Don't know what the big deal is)
When we do have sex, I find myself a passive participant and I just lay there. I feel hardly any pleasure No matter what position we try.
It's not just sex either, I HATE HATE HATE cuddling. I get hot, itchy, antsy and feel claustrophobic. My husband knows i don't like it but he thinks its funny to hold me down and "force" cuddle me anyway....he knows i hate it when he does that but he still does it anyway.

I've never been into masturbating, as I find it weird and uncomfortable (I was raised being told sex was a bad dirty thing)
I'm not on any medications and I'm not depressed. I am breastfeeding a 10 month old but just that wouldn't make me so adverse to sex and touch would it?
We haven't even been married a year and I'm so young (hubby is 25) that it seems i should be always wanting sex...right?

Please help, I'm worried it might start to hurt our marriage!


Michelle - posted on 01/25/2013




I would honestly go and talk to your doctor about this as no it is not normal, you should have a little more sex drive than what you describe I think that you have been ingrained with the idea that sex is dirty so that now your brain wants nothing to do with it,


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Fran - posted on 01/25/2013




It definitely will hurt your marriage. Maybe you should talk to someone about why you feel these things and get to the bottom of it. Possibly because you were told sex was "dirty". Sex can be very enjoyable if you let it. You are young and the older you get and the more in tune with your body you become you will enjoy it more. It sounds like you have a good man on your hands and they are hard to come by. Maybe you should find a retreat for married couples to go to when you are done nursing your child. There are some that are only 3 days long. It may be well worth it for your marriage and your husband's sanity, :)

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