Mixed Children

YVETTE - posted on 09/15/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I would like to know if their are moms that have children by other races. My younger children are mixed with Pakistanian and my daughter is 4 and she says things to my older daughter who isnt mix that she doesnt like her because she is black. I dont know where she got this from but she make alot of comments like she is glad she isnt black. I have explained to her that there are different shades but she isnt getting it. I feel like i should punish her when she does this cause the littler ones are hearing her when she says things. Any advice?

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YVETTE - posted on 09/17/2009

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Thanx yall, she will be starting pre-school next week and thats another reason why im trying to get to the bottom of this, she isnt around anyone besides are family but we have a huge family. Me and my husband have talked and we decided to talk to all the kids about how it doesnt matter what color you are and we are a family with different shades of skin.

Melissa - posted on 09/17/2009

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Aww I'm sorry that your 4 year old is saying those things. My boys are Filipino and White. I would probably tell her the story about how God loves every color and we should to, or something like that.

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I agree with Nicole. The child has to be getting her attitude/ opinion from somewhere! Does she attend pre-school? Who is her sitter? Family members? Have you asked her, in an unthreatening way, why she feels that way? You MUST get to the bottom of the matter because racism is a very serious matter. It is very hurtful to the older sister and such remarks to other children will not be tolerated in school. Try approaching the matter as you would a social/impolite problem. Good luck to you and children.

Nicole - posted on 09/15/2009

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Hi Yvette. I guess the question would be who is around her to influence her? TV? Other family members who may have this opinion? Children don't usually come to such a conclusion with out help. Our society has always promoted the idea that white is right and if you're of fair skin, you will receive favor. My daughter is 5 months old and she's mixed black (african-american, native american) and white (some German & others). She has her father's complexion, my eye shape (almond), his eye color (blue). People immediately look at her and say she's gorgeous. But I aways wonder, if she was as dark (and I'm dark!) as I am, would they still think she's gorgeous?

Consider your daughter's sources of influence.

Nicole

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