mom that doesnt know

Amber - posted on 09/30/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi im new to the website. I have 2 children boy and girl one 10 months and one 4 yrs. We are a very family orientated and do alot of grilling at my mother in laws and do alot of outdoor activities. My fiance works 6 days a week and gets off at 4 or earlier each day. Here lately we have not got a lot of sleep due to teething irritability and fussiness from my 10 month old. I feel that I just cant catch a break or have the time to just be me. My fiance comes in sometimes and is able to just kick back and say im done. I want that opportunity sometimes also. But that would intail him having to take care of the kids for a little bit so I could relax which seems selfish to me because he goes to work. I am a stay at home mom so all I do is clean house do laundry pick up our yard when needed simple home improvements and take care of the kids. My kids are my life dont get me wrong and so is my fiance. But I feel that its time I had the opportunity to just be done sometimes and be able to kick back and have a few drinks with my friends or on my balcony and listen to some keith whitley or sweat which ever comes first. But if I were to do so I feel guilty. I feel like a horable mom who would rather do that then be with my kids but its not like that at all. Like I said we are a very active family and when my fiance comes home he never offers to feed our infant or anything he gets to sit on the porch with his mom and visit and relax while I feed the kids bathe the kids and I dont get to actually hang out without interruption until my kids go to sleep. What can do differently

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Michelle - posted on 10/01/2015

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You are allowed to have some time out for yourself. Does your fiance work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week without a break? Of course he doesn't so why do you have to?
Being a SAHM is more than a full time job and you don't even get paid for it!!!!!
It took both of you to create the children and it takes both of you to raise them. When he gets home he can do his Father duties and help look after the children that he helped create.
You need to sit down and have a talk with him. Let him know that you need a break every now and then and you both need to come to an arrangement for it to happen. He may not realize that him sitting back chatting to his Mother while you do everything is a problem. Men usually need us to actually say these things rather than expect them to realize it on their own.

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