MONSTER-IN-LAW HELP!!!!!

Cara - posted on 01/31/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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What do I do about my mil??? She over the last three years has made mine and my husbands life a living hell. She finally did something that in my mind is unforgivalbe. She call DCFS (department of child and family services). When they came in they found nothing but laundry and dishes. The guy that did it said our house was one of the best he had seen in a long time. So he had to call his boss and tell them that it was a false report. Even though he couldn't tell us who called we knew who it was. So when my husband confronted her about it she lied, until she got mixed up and gave herself away. Then she told my husband that she made the call because she was mad at me for not fold and hanging up the girls clothes. And that she had even called back and told them not to come because all she was trying to do was scare me into folding the laundry instead of keeping it in baskets(which are labeled for each kid and when I put them in the dresser they just pull them all out).
I'm really mad that she did that. She went after me through my kids and through a goverment agency. She knew the kids were fine and very well taken care of and all she wanted to do was get to me!!! She even told my husband that and that she thinks that he needs to chose her or me!!! My husband and I have agree that she is no longer going to be apart of our or our childerns lives. Are we doing the right thing???

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I totally agree with Melissa. My mosterinlaw is alot like yours. My kids aren't allowed to do anything when they are at her house. She has never babysat or even come over. I told my husband it's one thing to not like me but my kids have NEVER done anything to her. I think your right to keep them away from her. Lay out the law and explain why you are though. Sorry that happened. She must have really bad deep internal problems to do this.

Mary-Ann - posted on 01/31/2010

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Absolutely you are doing the right thing. y hubby would disown his mother if she did something like that! So she wouldn't just be losing a life with her grand kids she would lose her son too. Hubby has already made it clear without saying the words the me and our daughter come before her. We had some issues with her before but not like, I'm not sure she would go that far. but wow, I am furious for you and I have never even met you.

Catheryn - posted on 01/31/2010

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Hi Cara, firstly let me express my sadness for you, your children ,your husband and his mother. It is sad that your relations are so fraught. Whilst I understand your anger at mil now, I ask you to stop and ask yourself why she did this. She is not a bad parent herself because she brought her son up to be who he is...and you fell in love with him.She is probably feeling slightly jealous that you and he are so close and doing well. Imagine that is your son 20 yrs down the line. She has made a terrible mistake and as a mum ,you have a chance to forgive her and involve her more...not less with your family. Embrace her as she will be an ali for you and never step out of line again. To forgive her will make you feel better and your husband and children love you more. Take care hun.You are a special mum x cathie x

Melissa - posted on 01/31/2010

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Wow! What a horrific story! I definitely think it's time to put a stop to this! In my opinion, the right thing to do is to sit her down and just lay it all out for her. Basically tell her either to shape up or else she won't be a part of your lives. It may seem harsh but it definitely seems like this drastic measure is completely necessary!



Calling DCFS is a pretty bizarre way to try and hold a conversation with someone. Not to get too personal, but does she have any mental problems? It may be that she is a bit out of touch and could do with some counselling. If you think it would be helpful, you can maybe suggest to your husband that he discusses it with her....perhaps you could all sit in together. It may help for you all to have an opportunity to express yourselves in a safe environment with a third party there to mentor. I can only imagine how well the conversation might go without having anyone there to assist.



Good luck with your situation! Just keep doing what your doing and being a good mother. It sounds like your husband is supportive of you in this. It is a scary situation but I'm hoping that you will persevere and your family will all make it through this together. Good luck!!

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