mother's day

Christine - posted on 05/09/2012 ( 15 moms have responded )

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so i am a 1st time mom and this will be my 1st mothers day and i was hopping it would be special for me, but i dont think it will. so my husband texted me today saying since i dont know what to get you and dont want to spend a lot of money ill take you to dinner. in my mind it is i am to lazy to look for a gift for you and i most likely for got this weekend is mother's day so ill take you to dinner. a little sad i sad ok. then he tells me the place and its a hot dog place we go to every now and then for lunch were everyone sits at 1 table. i was hopping to get a little more from him. this make me feel so unappreciated. all that i do all day non stop. i just wish he put some though into it. i was all excited about mother's day but now im not really. i have a feeling he 'll sleep in, i'll end up making breakfast for me and my little one and cleaning up. i feel like i should have to say can you put a little more effort into mother's day for me. cause you know what i have been looking for the perfect father's day gift for you and i had to buy ur mom and my mom mothers day gifts. im not looking for anything expencave just something thoughtful is that so much to ask for, well i guess it is in this house.

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Bethany - posted on 05/10/2012

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haha, yeah, don't expect your partner to be a mind reader. Lay it out for him. I want this and this and this. Say, "what you do on Mother's Day tells me what you think of all that I do all year. I want a nice dinner alone with you, a card with scribble on it, and flowers and/or chocolates."



With birthday, christmas, valentines, anniversaries, etc, they have alot on their plate, poor guys. They need concise, realistic instructions.



My first mother's day our daughter was 3 mths old. My husband gave me a 6 pack of cinnamon sugar donuts and a big bag of potato crisps and I loved it, it hit the spot, my favourites and it really cheered me up. It was a tough first 3 mths for me. Since then I've had flowers, chocolates, etc, but that first one meant the most.



This year I want to go to Mc Donalds for bfast. I could really go some of their pancakes. I have already received a card in the mail "from Charlotte" that daddy sent from work the other day. Got in strife for opening it early :p I would ask for lying on the couch all day, but I already do that alot as I'm in 1st trimester joy at the moment with our next baby and have been on the couch alot, and our 3 year old has watched an inordinate amount of TV and done alot of colouring in. If we're out in the yard, I'm lying down on the lawn too. I think I'll ask for some chocolates too (half price at kmart this week) and a girly movie to watch while hubby plays with daughter outside.



Bottom line, if they do anything for you without prompting, you're on a winner.

Michelle - posted on 05/09/2012

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welcome to motherhood, most men forget or put little effort into mothers day. My son will give me something he made at school so will my daughter and that will be the extent of it.

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Christine - posted on 05/14/2012

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so i did end up saying something to my husband about mother's day. i told him it was never about the expence it was about him know how much i do. when he says some days i wish i could stay home, it makes me feel like he doesnt think i do anything. so i told him he can take care of the baby all day from the time she gets up till she goes to bed. i told him he doesnt have to do the house chores i do. so at 7:30 when out little peanut woke up he got up with her. i told him she needs breakfast a sippy cup of milk and juice. lets just say by 4 in the afternoon he was asking me what time she goes to bed. i told him 8 dont worry you have another 4 hours of her getting into every thing. you still have to make a dinner fo her, and a bath to give. my husban dtold me after his long day with out little one of keep her out of things and making meals. i told him i dont relax between her naps like he does. i do laundry, dishes, was sippy cups, make lunch for her, mop the floor, vacuum, make the bed, take out the trash and thats just her 1st nap. her 2nd nap i throw in more laundry, fold and put away clothes. he told he he totally aprecates all i do and he is sorry if i felt like he thinks i dont do anything all day.

Stacey - posted on 05/14/2012

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so my mother's day didn't go exactly the way I planned, but it was lovely, regardless. DH made me eggs and sausage for breakfast, and my kids alternated naps all day after a busy long Saturday, as well as DH(he worked 6 days this week, 12 hours each day, Sunday was unfortunately his only day off :( But I managed to get a little alone time with my son(we did crafts and played with clay, and I got some alone time with the baby(laid on the bed tickling her and playing) while daddy and our son went out to buy me a present from him, and then both kids napped at the same time for about an hour so I was able to read my book in complete silence! Then we all went out to eat to a local mexican place and came home and watched a movie with our son. I could have gone out just me, I thought about going to Starbucks or something to read but I decided I'd rather be with my family :)

Lisa - posted on 05/14/2012

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My oldest is 12, going on 13. I also have an 11-year-old, an 8-year-old, a 4-year-old, and a 6-month old. There have been years when I was disappointed in my husband and my kids, and wished that they did more to appreciate me. But a long time ago, my mother-in-law (whom I love dearly) gave me some wonderful advice. She told me that my Mother's Day would not be special unless I made it a special day.

Here are 15 free (or practically free) ways you could make your Mother's Day special: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/05/a...

I agree with the other moms here who said that you need to let your husband know what you want from him on Mother's Day, and that you need to be thankful for whatever it is that he does do for you, even if it's not all that you were hoping it would be.

My Mother's Day this year was such a beautiful day. More than what I could have asked for. Partly because over the years I have helped teach my kids (and my husband) that it is a special day, and how to make it a special day. (at first by doing things myself, like making sure the house was clean the day before, and getting everyone up and ready and going to church for a special Mother's Day service where they honor all the moms with a special gift, and going on a walk that day with everyone, or making special foods or crafty things at home, etc..)

I think this year was so wonderful partly because I know how many mistakes I've made as a mom, and how many times I've been guilty of putting my own desires above the needs of my kids, and have been guilty of not loving my kids enough. And yet, my kids still showed me how much they loved me by the things they made for me, and said to me, and that means so much to me. And my husband told me with a card how much he appreciated the way I love, care for, and raise our kids. And I felt like I didn't deserve any of it. I am just so grateful and thankful that they forgive me, that they love me, and that we get to spend another day as a family, that I get another chance today to be a loving mom. Hopefully, before they all grow up and leave home I will get it right. And hopefully, I'll do a good enough job that when they're grown, they'll want to come back and visit me on Mother's Day and wish me a Happy Mother's Day again.

Frances - posted on 05/11/2012

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According to my husband (and apparently my dad agrees I just found out) that I'm not his mother so he doesn't have to do anything for me. Yeah we'll go out to eat, but I have to arrange it. The kids make me things at school. That's about it. And I've been a mother for 13 years with now 3 kids. Every year I go out of my way to make sure I get my husband's mother and grandmother really awesome gifts, but I never really get much. I even asked on year for just a break. To have everyone else do the chores and take care of their own things. That lasted a couple of hours. :/ So, I decided that clearly no one is going to appreciate me but me. So, I am treating myself (with my husband's money of course ^_^) to some shopping, dinner, and a movie. And I fully intend to enjoy myself with or without anyone else.

Joy - posted on 05/11/2012

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I've had to remind my husband several times its Mother's Day, bought cards for his mom & grandma (not to mention my own) and he's going to be out of town all weekend on a business trip so there won't be much of a celebration with him. This is my 3rd Mother's Day and I'm even pregnant with #2.

My daughter, on the other hand, is 2 1/2 and after watching a Dora episode about Mother's Day is really excited for Sunday. I know she didn't make me anything, but while Daddy's away I think we'll head out to see a flower display at one of the parks that's been put out for the special day. It'll be just the two of us enjoying each other.

I view Mother's Day to be more for the children honoring the mother than the husband honoring the wife, but in the early years husband should be helping to explain why the holiday matters. Maybe you could ask him to watch your little one for a few hours so you can get some 'Me Time.' I always like taking the car out and finding some shopping, movies or time with girlfriends when my husband does that.

Michelle - posted on 05/11/2012

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I dont think my partner did anything last year, I honestly can't remember. the year before I brought my daughter home from the hospital the day before and managed to convince him that I was happy with that, and he just brought me a flower. this year we are postponing mothers day because his birthday falls on it and I have already planned it all out for him (much to his shock horror) and I will be planning a trip to the museum and maybe a movie later on in the month when we have more money for it. Bottom line is its your day, do what you want. If you dont want to go there why dont you suggest that you go elsewhere. To me mothers day is about the fact that your a mother, I dont want presents until my daughter can make or pick them (this year is her first year at daycare and they all made bookmarks i;ve already seen mine and I ♥ it. but take it into your own hands and do what you want, or at least tell him what you would like.

Stifler's - posted on 05/10/2012

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I choose my own present. How is going out for dinner cheaper than a present either. My husbands logic is that I get what I want that way.

Stacey - posted on 05/10/2012

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yep, my first mothers day I think my husband got me a gift, but didn't really do anything out of this world special. This year, the only thing I want is to leave the house, spend a few hours myself reading a book and relaxing somewhere and come home to a clean house. That's it! lol, your desires really go down after a few kids..:)

Kimberly - posted on 05/10/2012

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I think you should tell him what you want for Mother's Day. Men aren't mind readers and if they are not the romantic type, they will not think of romantic candlelit dinners and such. And let's face it, men can be bad at remembering dates. Mine forgets when Valentines Day is. Tell him you'd rather have a sit-down dinner at your favorite restaurant, breakfast in bed, jewelry, your favorite perfume, flowers, cards, Mommy time, whatever you desire. He's not going to know or be able to give you what you want unless you tell him. It's best to be straight forward with him than not and be disappointed.

Jenn - posted on 05/10/2012

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It will be the 1st mothers day for me as well! I made my own reservations for brunch and planned the rest of our day. I'm used to planning everything anyway or things usually dont get done, so I didn't mind. It's a day to celebrate you, as a mother to your CHILD.. So I'm happy to spend the day with my baby girl. Sunday's are my husbands only day off so I'm glad he can be there too and I understand that he didnt have time to plan anything. I enjoy the time with my family and I don't need a gift to know that my family loves and appreciates me.
If you want your husband to plan something next year I would do what YOU want this year and hint ( or tell him straight out ha) that next year you'd love it if hed Plan something special himself. Regardless I hope you enjoy the day.. And if you get angry or frustrated with your husband.. Just look at your beautiful baby, they will always make you smile! :)

Erica - posted on 05/10/2012

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Maybe it does suck you have to ask for it, but maybe it wasn't a big deal in his house growing up. Make a big deal out of father's day. Show him how special he is to you and hopefully next year he will return the favor. My 1st mother's day my hubby got me a book of scrapbook paper and took my daughter out of the house for most the day for a "break" I was still on maternity leave and was totally bummed. I told him how I felt and now he doesn't let me lift a finger but keeps my babies with me. Life isn't a fairy tale especially motherhood, he can't read your mind. Some times we all need some guidence. :)

Christine - posted on 05/09/2012

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i feel like i should have to ask to be though of. i feel like it takes away when you have to ask someone to do something nice for you.

Liz - posted on 05/09/2012

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Last year I got a flower from my boys that my friend bought for them to give to me. My husband did nothing, and didn't even acknowledge that it was mother's day. I was very hurt. I told him so later on, and he didn't care. Blamed me for something I had done before. I guess the best advice I can give is try to have a good time, and maybe let him know after a couple of weeks that NEXT year you would really like it if...(insert fantasy here, lol).

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