My 15 month old likes to hit!! I smack his little hands but that does not seem to help at all!!

Joalize - posted on 01/01/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

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He also likes to throw... He has a arm, he could be a Quarter back! But i know that is just a stage. I am more concerned about him hitting. He is not in a day care so i don't have to worry about him hitting other kids... but when he IS with others he hits so what can i do!

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Jackie - posted on 01/01/2010

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Hold his hand. Tell him that they are now yours because he can't behave with them. If he hits you with the other one or throws something with the other one... hold that one too. You must do it everytime he does it when he does it. Even in public. And remind him he lost the hand because he hit/threw something. You will be surprised how quickly he realized its not a good idea to hit or throw something.

Stephanie - posted on 01/01/2010

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I agree with teh other ladies-I have a naughty spot,I can see them if they move out of it and its 1 min per year of life that you need to stand/sit.it may apper to be a game at first-he will run away from it but be consistant and it will work!!!if you get frustrated remember you can give yourself a timeout(I go to the bathroom,it's inconspicous)gater your will and resume.it's totally worth it(especially the when other parents tell you how well behaved he is) good luck!!!!

Marie - posted on 01/01/2010

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Hi. my name is marie and I have 2 boys age 8 and 11. I went through this with both of them. I tried everything from spanking their hands to spanking their bottoms and I thought I would never get them to stop. it was about the same age you are talking about. A friend of mine showed me a little trick that I never would have thought about and couldn't believe the results lol. Go to walmart to the crafts department and look for self stick dots. Measure a wall in your living room or hallway that you can easily watch him. You want to stick the dot right at nose level. Everytime he hits (or gets into trouble for anything else lol) take him to that spot and tell him he has to stand at the wall with his nose on it. Depending on the age (yours being 15 months) start with a timer and tell him he has to stand there for 2 minutes. (as he gets older the time gets longer so he learns the consequences of his actions) You will have to stand there with him the firsst few times due to him not understanding but just be consistant with it. I can tell you now that both my boys hate to hear me, even now at their ages, ask them if they want to have to put their noses on the wall! lol. Hope this help you some and good luck. Parenting is a tough job but we were picked by God because He knows we are the ones special enough to raise them and love them.

Sally - posted on 01/06/2010

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If you tell him not to hit then hit his hands how is he going to process the "no"? You just did exactly what you DON"T want him to do. He learns from you. All babies hit. They vary in strength and intensity but they all hit. It is a natural phase. Stop him, tell him nice touches and show him how. Yes you will have to repeat, repeat, repeat but if you don't want a hitter don't hit him.
You will have to be consistant and gentle at the same time. Remember a baby does not have the concept of a "forever no". By that I mean their brains are still organizing their world. They are just starting to figure out what they can and can't do and what they can do sometimes and not other times. A cookie is a sometimes yes, sometimes no, An eletrical outlet is an always no. But they have not got all the clues to understand the difference. So if you say no no no, then whack on the hands, the message is mixed up. Why is it ok for you but not him. I don't understand that and I am 41. How could a 15 month old get it?

Twila - posted on 01/01/2010

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I agree with Brandi I would just add that you should find a specific place that you put him everytime, that is quite and away from everyone else. This will let him know that he is in trouble and only use it when he has done something wrong......just make sure you are very firm with him and explain to him why he has to go there.

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Jodi - posted on 01/31/2010

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I used to run a daycare and pretty all kids go through the hitting and throwing stage. From my personal experience, the parents who say they smack their child's hands when their child hits...that child takes longer to get over this stage and usually begins to hit more frequently for quite a while. I don't know why for certain, but I would assume that because they are being hit or "smacked" for their crime, they translate it as "mommy hits me, so I can hit mommy" Kids naturally think they can do whatever their parents do, I strongly suggest time outs. Consistency with time outs is key and lack of consistency is usually why time outs fail so often with parents. I'm not judging you, I personally do think hitting a child for any reason is wrong, but I understand other parents feel differently about it. Best of luck!

Renee - posted on 01/31/2010

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Oh and don't beat yourself up, although other mommies on here seem to be, about smacking his hands. I realize that you are not being mean, or hitting him hard and are only doing it b/c thats how all moms used to do it. And I hate to say it, we turned out just fine. Parenting is different now and sometimes I think it is for the better and other times I really don't. So don't worry, he's young and won't remember this. You'll figure out what works best for your child and that will map out how you discipline from now on. I don't care if the mommies get upset on here but they were a bit too opinionated about what you are doing. They need to remember that this is to help and its obvious your not hurting your child - you wouldn't post it. And further, read up on Dr. James Dobson.....lots of research is coming out about spanking and not spanking......get up to date people.

Renee - posted on 01/31/2010

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Smacking the hand did nothing for my son but holding them in mine and looking at him and telling him "No, we don't hit. Hitting Hurts...ouch." He hated having his hands held. I liked this approach because it also caused me to get down on his level - eye to eye and talk to him. Actually, anything where I made him be still and I told him "No" worked great!

Sheila - posted on 01/07/2010

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Yep, don't do what you don't want your children to do :)

All you have to do is make it a point to stick to your guns when they are on a time out of your choosing. Seems your boundaries are being tested and if you give in, the more they are going to try to get away with and suddenly you have an uncontrollable child at an older age with no respect.

YOU CAN DO IT :)

Darylann - posted on 01/07/2010

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Let's see....you're hitting him for hitting. I am not surprised he won't stop. Try verbalizing what he is doing wrong and time out.

Heather - posted on 01/06/2010

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My little one loves to hit too and I tell her no nice and rub her arm and she does the same back so try that

Kristina - posted on 01/06/2010

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First off, while I am guilty of it too, if we think about it hitting their little hands to teach them not to hit may not be the best idea.... That being said, my 3rd child is a hitter and a forcefull one at that. At 16 months she can bring me to tears and frequently makes her older sisters cry (she's overall a bully).... What I have found is starting to work is holding both her hands in mine, looking her square in the eye, and calmly but firmly telling her that hitting is not ok, she hurt her sister and now her sister is crying. I then turn her to look at her sister. You can see the guilt and remorse come across her face, I think at this age they're so in to testing cause and effect that you have to help the understand what effect hitting has so they can stop testing it... Also any toy or other object used to hit is taken away for 3 days, with the simple explination that "This is not for hitting. If you don't want to use it the right way, you don't need to use it at all." Hope this helps, or at least gives you a jumping off point!

[deleted account]

I went through this phase with my now 5 and 10 yr old boys.. My oldest only stopped when I started acting lol. He hit me and i fell 2 the floor acting like i was crying and in so much pain.. it made him realize his actions had hurt mommy and he started thinking twice about How to handle his emotions. My youngest was harder. He enjoyed seeing ppl in pain and laughed at anyone he hit. until he hit his favorite stuffed toy one day then hit me and said it was my fault.. I took the toy later that night and told him the toy ran away because he didn't like getting hit and didn't want my son to hit any1 anymore.. My poor baby was so stressed without his lil friend that he promised to keep his hands to himself if I would bring his toy home.. later that night i put the toy back and the hitting stopped (thankfully) Whenever they got towards the hitting point, all it took was a reminder of what could happen because of it and they calmed down enough to pay attention to whatever my distraction of the day was... Sometimes a lil deception can go a long way

Brandi - posted on 01/01/2010

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I want to first say that I did smack my son's hands if he was doing something dangerous (playing with the TV which could fall on him etc.) but I think hitting his hands to teach him not to hit, may not be the best message. *which I imagine is why you are asking for other ways* Most kids go thru a phase like this. My son did it for a while. He would usually hit me when he was in my lap, so I would sternly tell him NO and put him down, IGNORE HIM. He is trying to get a reaction from you, that is why he is hitting. It gets a response. After a min. or so *or when he stops crying, which is what my son did* I would gather him into my lap and tell him no hitting it isn't nice. Tell mommy your sorry (which of course he can't "SAY", but he CAN give hugs and kisses and make amends. Tell him it's ok, don't do it again. *he will, though* be consistent. IF he is hitting another child or someone else, remove him from the situation, telling him NO HITTING IT HURTS and let him alone again for a min or so. then make him "apologize" to whoever he did hit. My son has begun to do it much less and he seems to understand that hitting hurts others and that is bad. It takes time and consistency, but like I said, most kids do it at one time or another. Keep telling him it's wrong and not acceptable and give him a consequence. He must "apologize" and he will be left all by himself. Good luck.

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