My 20 month old daughter is still being spoonfed!!

Kathryn - posted on 09/25/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My 20 month old daughter is still being spoonfed and refuses to eat anything by hand, ie sandwiches etc., and dad and I are worn out and want her to start being like the many other children of her age who eat finger foods with no problem, any suggestions, particularly as I have a 10 week old son and know that her eating finger foods would certainly help me greatly. Thanks for all and any advice given.

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Kathryn - posted on 10/13/2009

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Thank you to everyone who offered advice to me regarding my dilemma which I did realise was partly mine and my husbands fault, however we are now having success as we just made the decision that enough was enough and now our beautiful girl is feeding herself with a spoon, a bit messily but still doing great and also having sandwiches, strawberries, which she just loved and crackers. We are slowly introducing other stuff. She took to it so well that I believe she was ready for it a lot earlier than we thought she was. Gracie is doing wonderfully well now as she always has and does. Thanks Again ;-) xx

Anita - posted on 09/25/2009

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when ur youngest get to a age were he eats solids and that then let ur older one watch him eat with his hand/sppon fork whatever he likes....but if u cant wait that long seat ur lil girl in her highchair, put the food infront of her and leave her to eat by herself whichever way..keep her there for 5-10 min and then take the food away and get her out of her highchair and try again 15min later..keep doing it until she feeds herself...if she refuses just let her go without for a day or two...she will learn very fast that if she doesnt eat on her own then she will be hungry, dont worry though..kids are smart and will not let themselves starve...its tough to let ur lil one go without but sometimes u just have to use a lil tough loving...

good luck

Cheralee - posted on 09/25/2009

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Just stop! She is still being spoonfed because you allow her to be. I don't mean to be harsh, but you are perpetuating it and the longer it goes on the harder it gets, especially in a few months when your other child needs to be fed that way. Put the spoon on the tray and continue on with your dinner.

I do agree with Chris that the not eating anything with her hands could be a sensory issue and love her ideas for working through that. I also think it could be possible that it is partially due to the younger sibling in the home. We saw a lot of regressive behaviors and a slower passing of some baby behaviors in our DD,2 when our DS, 8mos was born.

Wendi - posted on 09/25/2009

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Try things that are different colors/textures/shapes. To start out don't worry so much about nutritional value (you can still feed her healty food). Make it fun (gold fish crackers, teddy grahams, ect.). Also, some children don't like the feel of certain foods (my daughter HATED to touch peaches) on their skin. Try to avoid those foods. It may also be that with a new baby she is trying to demand your attention. Maybe if you make sure to have special time that is just for the two of you she will eventually realize that she can do some things on her own. Also, if you can (and I know its hard with a new baby) sit down and eat with her ("Mommy took a bite of her food, now can you take a bite of your food? Good job, you're a big girl like Mommy"). I hope some of this helps.

Chris - posted on 09/25/2009

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Just put it on the tray or plate. When she's hungry she'll eat it. Will she eat anything with her hands? If so, use those foods first, then work into the others. Can she feed herself with a spoon? If so, just let her use the spoon to feed herself. If she's eating something that doesn't work with the spoon she should eventually give in and use her hands. The best thing you can do is not feed her, she's old enough to feed herself. If you give into her she will never learn. Also, praise her when she does feed herself. Even if it's just a piece of candy.



It kind of sounds like she has some sensory issues. If shes doesn't feed herself with anything, try some sensory activities with her. Get a plastic tub put some sand in it and let her move her fingers around int it, try wetting the sand. This creates different textures. See how she does with different textures. Once she masters the sand, move onto rice, beans, corn. Then once she masters these. Then move onto whip cream, put it into a plastic zip loc baggie, and let her squish it around. If she is able to play with all these sensory items and not have a problem, then you will know its not a sensory issue. Then you will know she strictly doesn't want to feed herself for which you can take the steps to leaving her with the food and not feeding her. If she is having sensory issues with the different items, then you will know That she's not feeding herself because she doesn't want to touch the food.



I hope this helps. God bless.

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