my 20mth old has these screaming fits how can i get her to stop doing this?


Michelle - posted on 09/16/2009




what is going on when she is having these fits? Is she upset about something? Is she tired? How often does she have them?

There could be lots of reasons.

I know it isn't the nicest thing to do, but when my daughter, who is 6, starts screaming and crying because she is upset and doesn't know how to stop, I get my fingers wet with water and kind of flick it in her face. She stops long enough to give me a look like what are you doing and then I can start to try to calm her down.

Sometimes when kids get really upset and start crying/screaming, they don't know how to calm themselves or get their control back. A little spray of water kind of startles them. She may not like it, but it might give you a chance to try to see if she can tell you what is wrong. Hope that helps.

Sharon - posted on 09/19/2009




I find the best thing to do is just walk away, My son does the same thing, I just tell him when he wants to tell me whats wrong i will listen when he stops screaming, and i leave the room or just go do something in the kitchen and if he follows me i just tell him again i will listen when he stops. It might take a while to calm down. But each time it get less and less. It has worked for me.

Skittles - posted on 09/17/2009




I have given my son time out and he is 15 months I put him in his crib and tell him its time to stop that i leave the room for a minute or so. then i come back and ask him if hes done yet. most of the time it only takes that short time for him to stop. It shows him that I am not going to give him attention for bad behavior.He will scream if I tell him no or if he doesn't get his way and let me tell ya hes got lungs wow lol.


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Rebecca - posted on 04/26/2014




What I did when my daughter was that young was hold her close to me, generally I would sit on the floor and hold her so she couldn't hurt me or herself but also felt me hugging her. I would do this until her fit was over, I then would talk to her and tell her that I knew she was upset but this is why... She was not old enough to reason but I felt this was telling her that her feelings were valid and I still loved her. I read somewhere that around two there emotions are overwhelming and that they can feel scared of there reaction so to comfort them. She is going to be three in August and she now knows reason so time out works for one to two minutes, we don't really have fits anymore unless she is tired.

Mandy - posted on 04/24/2014




My daughter screams an crys all the time but she can't talk an she is 20 months old I don't know what to do I get so fusterated at times an I try everything help plz

Brandy - posted on 09/24/2009




If they are temper tantrums, I would completely ignore her. Show her that this kind of behaviour is not getting her any attention at all because when they want attention, they don't care whether it's postive or negative attention, just that they find a way to get it. Once the tantrum is over, confront her on her behaviour.

Amanda - posted on 09/20/2009




When my children throw tantrums I calmly, without words, pick them up and put them in their room. I tell them when they are done they can come out. If we are in public I just ignore them or walk away, but still keep them in my sight.

Rosanna - posted on 09/18/2009




twenty months - is old enough to manipulate you. So it is all up to You to win the game of manipulation. You need to get very good at it now because she has you beat so far.
Always stick by your NO!. Don't give in to the screaming. Think of other kinds of NO!'s that you would never turn into a yes. She needs to learn that no means no. Not maybe.
Time out works great, she can have her fit on her rug, chair, stool or where ever you decide is 'The Time Out' place. Not the bedroom, that is for sleeping and playing.

Bianca - posted on 09/17/2009




she is definately screaming because she's angry! I know that for a fact. But I just can't take it. She's too young to understand the concept of time out. I go to her and tell her to stop screaming and I'll tell her no, no, no, she does understand the word no but all she does is keep screaming, it's a tantrum for sure cause she'll even throw herself on the floor but I just can't seem to get her to stop. I always have to give her something to make her stop.

Cristina - posted on 09/16/2009




Hi, If the baby is screaming for no reason, it's normal they scream once they learned they can. Now, if they cry and scream, that's a problem, it could be a tantrum, if that's the case, time out for sure, the have to know that it is no acceptable to do so, if they scream and cry but the cry seems like in pain, get it checked.
My son does scream his head off every day from the time he wakes til his bed time, he does it cuz he knows he can do it, and enjoys it much. I try to get him to do his inside voice, it works but for a moment. good luck.

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