My 3 1/2 month old cries with anyone else but me. Help

Patti - posted on 05/22/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My 3 1/2 mo. old girl cries with anyone, even my mom whom she has seen at least 2 x a week since birth. We were just at a family bbcue & she cried even when someone said hi to her even though I was holding her! And what's more disconcerting is that if someone does hold her and she starts to cry, when I take her from them, she doesn't stop crying for a while! Then, she's as happy as a clam when we get home in her surroundings!! I'm starting to think she has a social phobia or something!? PLEASE HELP!

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Christy - posted on 05/22/2011

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My third child was totally a momma's boy. Unless I was leaving the house, he wouldn't even go to his dad. When he was almost two, I went on a trip for a week and left him home with his dad the whole time. He never forgave me for that. It was so sad to have an almost two year old chew me out and not give me hugs. It took him a couple weeks before he quit chewing me out. When it came to the rest of the family or friends, he freaked out if anyone touched him or his blanky. Sometimes it was funny, sometimes it was nerve wrecking. I had to set a structured day for my own sanity and he learned to take regular naps!

Other than your sanity at this point, don't stress about it too much. Once she's about three, get involved in play groups, so that she gets used to playing with other kids. Socializing will be critical for preparing her for Kindergarten.

Once she's 6-8 months old, it's okay to leave her with a babysitter and let her cry for a couple hours. At this point, you can put her on a schedule so that you can stay sane, and possibly have someone babysit during nap time or after bedtime.

Michelle - posted on 05/22/2011

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My middle daughter was like that until she was 15 months old. Then she was fine and loves everyone. My oldest was like that to a lesser degree until he was about 15 months old. He's also very social now. It's a phase and it will eventually pass. Some people are naturally slow to warm personalities.

Alice - posted on 05/22/2011

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My little one is kind of the same way with extended family..I bring some familiar toys with me and they get his attention with it, he gets more relaxed as ppl play with him, he’s more receptive¸ observe his surrounding and eventually lets them hold him. Of course there’s always some ppl he doesn’t want nothing to do with but I figure as he gets older he’ll warm up to them.

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Stifler's - posted on 05/23/2011

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My mum reckons I was like this until I was 3. Wouldn't even go to my dad.

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 05/23/2011

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Strange indeed. I think you should try to work on self soothing methods which will help her to be more comfortable on her own. It's worked for our son lots. He doesn't cry before naps now and he goes to sleep much smoother. He also doesn't flip out around other people, and the only time he has cried over strangers is when they were loud and doing something big and unexpected like my mom walked in the door and almost yelled his name out as she was so happy to see him and he broke down. Also, my boyfriends friend grabbed his hand and shook it to say hi last week and made him cry because he just was in his face too fast and being too loud......... and then out of no where our son decided to cry whenever my boyfriends best friend was around for about a month LOL so we made jokes about how he finally figured out he was ugly :) So it's perfectly normal for them to be phased, but she seems to be dramatically affected by it. How often do you take her in public? How often is she around people? Strangers? How often do you leave her by herself when you are at home? Sounds like she just needs some adjusting and reassuring that it's okay

Ragan - posted on 05/22/2011

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My 3rd daughter was like that, she didn't even like her dad to hold her. It did get better after she was a year but as a toddler she was always stuck to my butt. I couldn't go anywhere without her, even my mother wouldn't sit her because she would scream the whole time I was gone. It was a big shock to us because our first two were not like that. We never found anything that helped but we got through it :) Now she is 7 and she is very social and has been since she was around 3. You will get through this and he will be fine :)

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