my 4 year old daughter is so cheeky and naughty how do i stop it?

Rebecca - posted on 03/05/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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my 4 year old daughter is so cheeky towards her dad but never to me, she ignores his mum and dad but is ok with mine. shes always answering back so we send her to her room but she comes out and 2 minutes later she starts again i dont smack her cause i think its bang out of order what else can i do?

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Kristin - posted on 03/07/2010

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Pick a time out spot everyone can use that is NOT her bedroom. Time out is not supposed to be fun, it is to collect themselves and think about what they did that got them put there. Sit her down, get to her level, tell her what she did wrong (in this case, speaking disrepectfully), and start the timer (4 minutes). If she gets up, put her back, reset and start timer. Repeat as necessary. At the end, ask her why she was there, when she answers correctly, give her a hug. Don't demand an apology, I would rather get a true apology than one I had to tell her to give. She will think that apologizing, whether she means it or not, will get her out of being disciplined. She will get it.



If she is behaving this way while you are out, say at the grandparent's home, tell her in advance that you will not tolerate that kind of behavior from her and that you will leave if she acts up. Be firm and consistent. It will help immensely if all the adults and caregivers in her life know what the plan is. They need not do the disciplining, but they cannot interfere either. With the grandparents she's rude to,maybe they can even tell her that if she continues to act like that it will be time to go home and she can come back when she is ready to act nicely. Everybody needs to be firm and kind tell her that it is unacceptable what she is doing.



This is a really good time to teach her to use please, thank you, and you're welcome, if you haven't started already. Politeness and respect breed the same, so you will want to use them with her as well. For example, ask her to please pick up her toys or put the silverware on the table.



Kids this age really want to start making decisions for themselves. You can provide the options to choose from. She is old enough to know that her choices and actions have consequences. I offer the above only as a suggestion, try it or not. I applaude your not smacking her, I know from experience that isn't easy when they start sassing you. Good luck!

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Sandra - posted on 08/23/2013

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I've got my 4 year old grandson living with me had him since he was 9 months and hes gone so cheeky and won't listien to us any tips plzz

Sue - posted on 03/07/2010

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I have exactly the same issue with my 5yo. She can be so rude to her dad but with me she generally behaves herself. Dad gets so mad as well .... male ego believes they are in control and when this 5 yo believes otherwise all hell can break loose and I feel I have 2 kids arguing.
Time out [5 mins, 1 min per year] works to a certain point but taking something away generally gets her to notice what she often refuses to see.
I have also got up and walked away from her if she starts acting silly and trying to avoid what she is supposed to be doing. All I do is start to stand up and she totally changes her attitude.

Krystal - posted on 03/07/2010

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Hello my son Blake is 3 and hes a challenge when hes cheeky he has to sit in the corner for 3 minutes he gets toys taken away when he throws them around and if he doesnt clean his room we take all his toys away and he doesnt get them back till he can clean his room and be good it can be hard to keep to things but if you take awy their favourite toys or when shes cheeky to hber Daddy you could say Darling that makes Daddy very sad when your cheecky to him maybe Daddy wont take you to the park or play with you. Maybe when she ignores your hubbys Mum you could say Darling look theres Nana would you like to go and colour in your colouring book with her Or wheres that really cool book we brought you Nana would love to read it with you things like that will make her see its fun to do things with Nana and Grandad and she will love to be with her Grandparents Blake is sometimes rude to his dads parents and we say Blake I dont like it when you talk to Nan and Grandad like that you say sorry and he does then we get them to play games with him and its really good if both grandparents take them out to a movie or the park with out their parents Blake enjoys been with both grandparents with out me and my partner he always has lots of fun I hope my ideas helpo you let me know how you go

Krysta l:}

Lynn - posted on 03/05/2010

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well i watch my nephew alot and he gets into something and when i tell him no and move him he goes straight back to it. i am now trying time outs. hes two so his time out is for two minuts and if he gets up it starts over. then after the timeout i talk to him about y he was on time out. idk if it will work for u but maybe it will work for u guys. the best advice i can give u is to make sure what ever disaplain u give her, u and ur husband r on the same page. if u have a certain time out spot and ur husband as a differnet spot it confuses them.

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