My 4 Year Old Toddler is out of control and does not sleep at night!

Chuanelle Van Den - posted on 07/03/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi There.

My 4 Year old Toddler has recently been giving me a very hard time.
He gives me attitude whenever I ask him to do something and he now starts screaming back at me.
I have tried everything possible.
I have tried screaming at him in a louder voice, grounding him by taking away his games and friends for a day, sending him to his room, hitting him on his hand with the wooden spoon, sending him to the naughty corner, telling him he is not allowed to watch TV etc.
He now recently started to scream and shout when he needs to go to bed.
He wakes up at 2 in the mornings asking for stuff and when I tell him to go back to bed he starts crying and sometimes shouting. He then wakes up every 1-2 hours doing the exact same thing.
The school recently told me that we need to discipline our child at home as he is giving attitude at school and throwing things around when he does not get his will.
I AM SOOOOOOOOOO FED UP AND DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE!
It is starting to get embracing when we have people around or when the school tells me how naughty my child is.

PLEASE HELP ME! WHAT CAN I DO?

2 Comments

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Sarah - posted on 07/03/2014

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My suggestion to you would be to read the book "The Connected Child" by Karyn Purvis. It will give you TONS of insight on why you discipline the way you do, and then give VERY helpful information on how to discipline and connect with your child. What you are doing is not going to get the result you want. You are trying to be the the corrector (which is what you do want....correct the behavior), but you are going about it the wrong way. You first want to connect with your child.....this makes correcting easier and less often. Spend time together doing things he enjoys doing. You want to set the boundaries and limits but you also need to be nurturing in the process. This does not mean you give in or let things go, but it does mean that screaming at him is not going to help. You both need to find a way to calm down and approach the situation in a more calm matter. Remember if you can't calm down and you are an adult how to do you expect a child to be able to do so. "The Connected Child" will give you SO much insight and will give you tons of information on how to change things. This has been a GREAT insight for myself and really makes sense and I can see the difference in my own kids.

Chet - posted on 07/03/2014

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Unfortunately, bad sleep causes more bad sleep. It is very likely that your son is overtired. Sometimes an earlier bed time can help.

Lots of exercise and outside time is likely to help too... followed by quiet activities like reading, songs or puzzles right before going to bed.

As much as possible, set an example of how you want him to act, and tell him what to do and instead of what not to do. "Use your regular voice" is preferable to "don't yell". "We can read that book together" or "balls are for throwing" is better than "don't throw books". If you're constantly telling a child "no" and "don't" they get numb to it.

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