My 5yr old son is afraid of everything!

Julie - posted on 11/07/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My 5yr old son will not leave my side because he says he's afraid. I know that this age they go through that where they are afraid of monsters and stuff. He's basically afraid to be alone. I cant go anywhere, and I do mean ANYWHERE without him eithor being right there. If i'm in the bathroom, he's at the door talking to me. It's getting out of hand. Even during the daylight he's gotta be on the same floor as I am. I already get no alone time because my husband is in the Navy and gone alot, but for him to shadow me...drives me crazy! Is there anything I can do to help him get over this?

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Lorraine - posted on 11/07/2009

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Well I would take one day to ask what exactly is he afraid of. Make a list and throughout the day explore them with him or explain to him what they are. If he is afraid of monsters, then tell him that Elmo is also a monster and there is nothing scary about Elmo or even Cookie monster. If your guy just needs some reassurance just have him play games with you. Tell him to go watch t.v. in the other room and if he doesn't hear you just to scream MARCO!!! And of course you give a quick POLO! I know it sounds dumb, but it can be a way for you to know where the other one is at. Or even what about getting some walkie talkies. I think that if you find out what exactly he is afraid of, it will be quicker to help him get over them. Let me know if this helps.

Kelly - posted on 11/07/2009

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I am wondering if it is because his dad is gone, and like Peggy was saying, maybe that makes him feel abondoned and insecure. Poor little guy. And of course, he doesn't understand how important it is that daddy is doing what he is doing. 5 year olds are still very self-involved, all that matters is that daddy isn't there, not why. I agree with the suggestions about getting him around more kids. At that age, if he has a friend over, they will probably play pretty well for some time without you, and you might actually get more "mom" time than by just being home alone with him. That might help you deal with the situation, but I wouldn't worry about it. Kids do go through so many stages, and when you look at the big picture, it is pretty much guarenteed that in 8-10 years, he will not want to spend all his time with you - LOL! If you want to really work on it, you could probably "train" him gradually, by getting him started on a task in one room, and you going to do something else (like fold laundry, whatever) for a time, and reassure him "I'm going in the other room for a few minutes, I'll be back to check on you", etc. Maybe that will help him get used to not being in your sight every minute. Good luck! And God bless your family for the sacrifice of having your husband in the Navy!!

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I agree that it could be a separation issue about Dad. My girls tend to be exrtemely clingy when my DH goes TDY. He's active duty AF. Before we PCS'ed he was always working we hardly saw him and to them that was normal but they were still super clingey. Where we live now TDY doesn't come around often. They worry and just don't know how to say it. They cling to me in every way. It's a contant reassurance. When he has to go I started doing things every night he was gone that would keep us close together. Like watch movies or make cookies or play games. I'd put them in different activities with other kids. It helps. That's just what I did though.

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yikes!! well i understand your frustration.. im at home with 2 boys, their dad travels a lot for work and was in the NAVY before we had kids.. anyways..im assuming u've asked him what hes afraid of.. maybe he needs to get out a lil more and see more kids? again not sure of your circumstances.. maybe hes feeling lonely b/c daddys not home.. mine are 2 and 1 and the 2 yr old is more recently trying to talk about daddy more, he gets that hes at work but still sometimes seems to be irritated..maybe a lil more socializing and reassurance that you're not going anywhere and taht daddy will be home soon

Peggy - posted on 11/07/2009

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i have a 6 yrd old that was like that until i got her around alot of other kids and i just keep on reassuring her that i am here for her my husbund is in the Army and when he went to go do his Basic And AIT it was hard on both kids i also have a 10 yr old and they were constantly being my little shadows just keep reassuring him that everything is ok he feels as if daddy has left him and he is afraid that mommy will to so he is gonna stay as close to you as possible he doesn't understand that Daddy is serving our Country just bear with him try getting him around other kids that are going thrugh the same thing as him get him to interact with other kids get him to talk about what he is scared of and why you'll be surprised at what he just might tell you but remember to just let me know that you will always be there for him no matter what

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