my 9 yr old girl has adhd, she is very disrespectful and says the most hurtful things what do i do?

Stephanie - posted on 02/02/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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she is very angry no matter how nice i am, and she takes it out on me and the rest of the family, and it is making our lives miserable. ive tried everything...what should i do?

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Jackie - posted on 02/02/2010

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Kick her in the ass! ADD and ADHD are not and never have been excuses for poor behaviour. ADHD does not make a child treat others like garbage. It does not make someone disrespectful. You need to do some research and speak with your doctor and your childs teacher so that you can understand that ADHD has nothing to do with this and you will be better equiped to deal with it. Being a brat is not a medical condition its taught behaviour. Being a respectful child is also taught behaviour.

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Nancy - posted on 02/02/2010

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Keep calling her on her behavior and keep correcting her, i have a son with Aspergers and ADHD and I get the rudeness and stuff and you just have to cope too but that is hard too. Especially when you feel like you have tried everything. Take what ever her favorite things to do are.

Jennifer - posted on 02/02/2010

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I wish you all the best. I have a son who I want tested for add. It is so hard as the parent, because you can see it in their little faces that they want to be good, they want to do what you tell them, but like my son, he just can't seem to keep his attention on one thing long enough to do it. If it has been like me, I have lost my temper so many times, because I got it in my head that he should know better and that he just didn't care, so I had not respected him. How can I expect my son to show me respect, when I haven't shown him any. Now that I understand that there may be a problem, I have switched my thinking and how I deal with him, and he has made some really great improvements. It does take a really long time though.

Tessa - posted on 02/02/2010

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My heart goes out to you. I have got a 9 year old son with ADHD and a 14 year old being assessed for it at present. Love, patience and consistency are the 3 main factors when dealing with our special children. They always display these behaviours at home most as they know it a safe environment and that we will always love them no matter what. All we can do is keep telling them that these behaviours aren't acceptable and follow through whatever consequences we decide they should have. With mine it's losing bedtime every time they engage in seriously inappropriate behaviour, which i personally consider disrespect to be. There is no quick fix and it is very easy to give up after a short while. Hang in there and be consistent with whatever you decide and remember it may take months to see any effect. All the very best and i hope things improve for you.

Julie - posted on 02/02/2010

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i worked with a 3 year old who had adhd and some time he would become very aggressive he was give medicine to calm him down and he was really good after that some times his mum would leave him in his bed room and close the door and wait for him to calm down he would mess up his bed room but she found it was easier than him hurting his 2 other sisters she kept his bed room clear not much stuff the room so wouldent hurt himself

Adele - posted on 02/02/2010

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i am 18 and was diagnosed with adhd myself at a very young age x i just want to let you know that after a while and medication things will become better x my mum just had to cope as best she could and with the support of your family and friends it will be alot easier. but children with this condition often need reassurance and understanding so if you read up on the condition then you will understand the condition more and your child will me more pleasant x

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