my big girl beats her sis a lot

Munira - posted on 09/06/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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my big girl is 3.4 years old .....n she slap or hurt her 1 year old sis a lot....i cant able to be present with them allthe time...and in the end...she is beaten by me....which i dont like at all....plz help

6 Comments

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Tracy - posted on 09/07/2009

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First of all, if YOU are beating your child 9and not just spanking) I think you need to call CPS on yourself, adn get some help. There is NO reason to EVER beat a child.

Second: Your dd#1 thinks that since you can beat her, it must be okay for HER to beat dd#2. Monkey see, monkey do. With children it is NEVER "do as I say, not as I do" they just don't get that.

Third: Yes seperating them can help. If you have a safe place to put he 3.4 year old without you watching her. keep the 1 year old with you.

Fouth: time outs.1 minute per year of age. Same spot every time. No exceptions. If she gets out of time out before her time is up, it starts over.

Fifth: Talk to your dd and find out the WHY behind the beatings. Is the 1 year old taking thins from her? Pestering her when she needs some "me" time? There has to be an underlying reason. Find out what it is.

Good Luck!

[deleted account]

If you hit her then how can she understand that it's not ok to hit? I think they are too young to sort out their own problems...especially the one year old. Try to keep a closer eye on them and punish the older one when she does it. Time out, take away something she likes (tv, story...etc) and follow through with it.

Kris - posted on 09/06/2009

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Yeah I agree with Catherine separating them is not a good option. I do the same, sometimes just leave them alone to sort out their arguments. I know its tough specially when you tried to lecture them because you have to be fair all the time in front of them even its other one's fault.

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I have three girls (6y 4y & 3y) and they fight all the time..... separating them doesn't work cause it's there space too... girls have this thing called a pecking order & when they fight sometimes its best to stay out of the way as most times they are good at sorting it out, boys are the same but they get over it quicker! maybe your older daughter just needs a taste of her own medcaine maybe tell your 1yr to stand up for herself you can't be there all the time if I was watching my kids all day I wouldn't be able to pee or get any house work done.. I may sound a little werid but having 5 kids you can't be everywhere at once make them share & deal with it they get over themselves if not, there is always time outs that can last for an hour in a boring part of the house my kids hate this but they learn quick I mean business.... & most times they get over themsleves & kiss & makeup then it'll start all over again... they are girls after all!!!

[deleted account]

Can you try separating them? Maybe they can play in separate rooms when you aren't present. Or, take one of the children with you so they aren't alone together. I would keep telling the older child to be nice to her sister and don't hit her. Instead of spanking her, put her in her bedroom for a time out if she hits. Then make her apologize to her sister. She's probably a little jealous of the younger sibling. A lot of older children are.

Pamela - posted on 09/06/2009

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What ?? , May I ask why you can't be present with them ? and Beating your older child isnt going to solve things its just going to make your problem alot worse , Maybe try talking to your oldest daughter telling her its wrong to hit her younger sister and if she does it again put her in time out with no toys ect,....

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