My boy is always busy

Omolara - posted on 02/14/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have a 3yrs n 4months old boy,who is always busy with one thing or the other,he plays rough.When i stop him from doing one thing that could harm him,you will see him doing another.I always shout at him n scare him i will punish him.but it doesn't seems to be working.What can i do.

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Michelle - posted on 02/14/2010

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When we show our children angry behaviour constantly they will copy or pick up on it and it will show through thier emotions. When you shout at your son you give him the learning tool to learn to shout back, when you scold him (if you do) he learns to hit back, etc... its the same if you kiss your son, he learns to kiss back, if you show alot of love, hel do the same. Boys are rough anyway and will get into things that look dangerous cause its exciting to see what happens if he pulls the plugs out, or he goes to touch the hot oven...its just experimenting. If you feel he is doing it on purpose to annoy you do this:

When you see him go to do something you think will harm him, call him in a high pitched voice and sound really excited at something then when he comes to you you can offer him an ice lolly or a buscuit, or you can just simply pick him up and give him lots of love and kisses..this way his mind will be distracted from what he was about to do...he may give you love back and forget what he was doing in this case you can send him on his way, cueing him to play with his cars or bike or he may go to run straight back to the naughty thing he was about to do...at this point..give a firm NO and ask him to come to you..or go to him, hold his arm gently and tell him how it will harm him and that its naughty/wrong whatever you wish to use. If he throws a strop and still goes for it..give him time out. Find a spot in the house preferably one where he cant play with toys or break something..I used the hallway for my daughter and place him there sitting on a naughty chair or bench...and tell him that he has not listened to you, his behaviour is unacceptable and that he is to sit there for 3 minutes and you will come get him when its over..then after 3 minutes he will need to say sorry to you and tell you what he did wrong and why its dangerous. Hes old enough to do this. If he gets up while you want him to sit, go back, say nothing and put him back on the spot and he has to sit there for the 3 minutes again until he realises whats going on and says sorry.



But first, if he doesnt know it now, you have to teach him the word sorry. And alsong with all other emotions as this will help him expplain to you why he was acting up. SO do flash cards with him with happy faces, sad faces, angry eyc..and help him to understand what hes going through.



Sometimes scolding can work on some children, a slap on the back of the hand can warn them off a hot cooker...but with some children it does the opposite and they dont understand why they have been hit and then retaliate cause they are angry.



Hope this helps and stay strong with him.

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